Talk:Dior (song)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:16, 5 February 2021 (UTC)

Taking this on to help you get closer to having a GT in the future! --K. Peake 07:16, 5 February 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Infobox looks good!
 * The opening sentence should mention the song being from his debut mixtape, Meet the Woo (2019)
 * ❌ --K. Peake 06:08, 8 February 2021 (UTC)


 * "alongside producer 808Melo." → "alongside the sole producer 808Melo."
 * Remove the initial release sentence since the exact date is not notable
 * ❌ --K. Peake 06:08, 8 February 2021 (UTC)


 * "The song was released as the second single from the album" → "It was released as the second single from the mixtape"
 * "It also appeared as a bonus track" → "The song also appeared as a bonus track" with the wikilink per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * "second mixtape Meet the Woo 2 and posthumous debut studio album" → "second mixtape, Meet the Woo 2, and posthumous debut studio album,"
 * Mention that it was released on the above in February and June 2020, respectively
 * you should only mention the months --K. Peake 06:08, 8 February 2021 (UTC)


 * "A remix of "Dior" featuring" → "A remix of the song that features"
 * ❌ --K. Peake 06:08, 8 February 2021 (UTC)


 * "of Meet the Woo 2 on" → "of the mixtape on" since it is the last mixtape to be mentioned here
 * ❌ It will confuse the reader which mixtape the remix was on.


 * "with girls and buying" → "with girls and getting" because part of it only mentions him "receiving" the clothes
 * ""Dior" became his" → "the song became his"
 * "in the US and number 33 in the UK." → "in the United States and number 33 in the United Kingdom."
 * "where it peaked at" → "where it reached" to avoid repetitive wording
 * "in the United States by" → "in the US by" per MOS:US
 * Remove "for the song" since accompanying music video indicates that
 * "and a group of men and women dancing in a parking lot and hanging out in a" → "with a group of men and women dancing in a parking lot and a"
 * The live performance should be the sentence after music video
 * Target VevoDSCVR to Vevo
 * "It has received a" → "The song has received a" and this should be the sentence after reception in the second para
 * you forgot to move it --K. Peake 06:08, 8 February 2021 (UTC)

Background and release

 * Wikilink 808Melo
 * "knew that the song would" → "instantly knew the song would"
 * "He first thought it was an interesting track," → "He initially thought the song was interesting,"
 * "listened to the song and had" → "listened and had"
 * Target hook to Hook (music)
 * "next single off of his debut mixtape." → "next single from Meet the Woo." with the target, as we know that is the debut mixtape
 * why is this wikilinked? --K. Peake 06:08, 8 February 2021 (UTC)


 * "decided to have Pop Smoke" → "decided to have him"
 * Remove wikilink on Meet the Woo
 * Remove wikilink on Meet the Woo 2
 * Remove wikilink on Shoot for the Stars, Aim for the Moon
 * [7][8][9][10][11] is too many refs at the end of the sentence; move a number of them to their appropriate areas

Music and lyrics

 * "stated that the song "throws" → "stated that the song sees Pop Smoke "throwing"
 * "the song had" → "the song has"
 * "Pop Smoke's voice felt" → "Pop Smoke's voice feels"
 * "commented that Pop Smoke operated" → "commented that the rapper operates"
 * Wikilink FaceTime
 * Target Pitchfork to Pitchfork (website)
 * ❌ --K. Peake 06:08, 8 February 2021 (UTC)


 * "wrote that "Dior" had a" → "wrote that "Dior" has a"
 * "of flirting with girls and" → "of flirting and" since that is what the source actually says
 * Wikilink Dior

Critical reception

 * Retitle to Reception, giving a separate para at the end for the award to split from reviews
 * "felt the song had a" → "felt the song has a"
 * "with Sarah Osei of Highsnobiety calling" → "while Sarah Osei of Highsnobiety called"
 * "music critic Michael Saponara who labeled" → "music critic Michael Saponara, who labeled" with the target
 * "and said it was an "instant" → "and an "instant"
 * "that it embodied" → "that it embodies"
 * "described it as a" → "described "Dior" as a"
 * Wikilink Big Apple
 * "thought that the song was" → "thought that the song is"
 * ❌ --K. Peake 06:08, 8 February 2021 (UTC)


 * "San Francisco Chronicle critic" → "The San Francisco Chronicle critic"
 * Wikilink The New York Times

Commercial performance

 * "It made it Pop Smoke's" → "It became Pop Smoke's"
 * "The song then rose" → "The former then rose"
 * "number 22 on the chart." → "number 22 on the Hot 100."
 * ❌ --K. Peake 06:08, 8 February 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove usage of US before Rhythmic since you don't need it twice in one sentence
 * "after selling 1,000,000 units, making it Pop Smoke's first song to go platinum" → "for pushing 1,000,000 certified units, making it Pop Smoke's first song to achieve the certification"
 * "of over 2,000,000 units." → "of 2,000,000 units in the US."
 * "The song was certified silver" → "The song was later certified silver"
 * "on the ARIA Chart" → "on the ARIA Singles Chart" with the target

Music Video

 * Remove capitalization of video
 * "on September 3, 2019" → "on September 3, 2019,"
 * The Twitter teaser is not sourced
 * [52] should be solely at the end of the sentence
 * The cameo part is not sourced
 * Target to Canarsie to Canarsie, Brooklyn
 * A lot of the following sentences are not backed up by [52] and [54]
 * "and cuts to black." → "before cutting to black."
 * Remove wikilink on Meet the Woo and italicise the title
 * Remove the YouTube views sentence, as that is unsourced
 * "A secondary video shot by GoddyGoddy (director of "Welcome to the Party")" → "A secondary video, shot by GoddyGoddy (director of "Welcome to the Party"),"
 * Target NSFW to Not safe for work
 * Wikilink YouTube
 * Remove wikilink on Dior
 * Target Manhattan to Manhattan, New York

Remixes and other versions

 * Move this to being the section directly after In popular culture
 * "of "Dior" including" → "of "Dior", including"
 * Only the Lil Wayne and Jose Guapo freestyle are backed up
 * Only the Kwesi Arthur, Skeng and Perm, and Skillibeng remixes are backed up
 * "cover "Billie Jin (Dior Remix)"," → "cover, titled "Billie Jin (Dior Remix)","
 * The number one position on Spotify's chart is not backed up
 * "the single had attracted the attention of UMG/Virgin UK," → "the remix had attracted the attention of UMG/Virgin UK," with the targets
 * "was included in" → "was included on"
 * Remove wikilink on Meet the Woo 2 and italicise the title
 * The second sentence is unsourced
 * "were deemed as a fitting addition to the originals'" → "are a fitting addition to the original's"
 * [66] should be at the end of the above sentence as well
 * "third-best song of 2020 by" → "third-best song of 2020 up to July by"
 * ❌ --K. Peake 06:08, 8 February 2021 (UTC)

Live performances

 * Wikilink MTV
 * Italicise TRL and target to Total Request Live
 * Target VevoDSCVR to Vevo
 * Target hologram to Holography

Legacy

 * This should be part of the below section instead as the second para, since popular culture is largely the same as legacy in this context
 * "of Canarsie, Brooklyn in" → "of Canarsie in" since you have already introduced where it is
 * [14] should be cited instead of [21] for the BLM part, as that is the accurate Variety ref
 * ❌ I was clearly referring to the Variety ref --K. Peake 06:08, 8 February 2021 (UTC)


 * Target police brutality and racism to their US articles
 * Wikilink George Floyd and solely target "protests" to the page about them
 * "is "juxtaposed" against" → "was "juxtaposed" against" since the events have been and gone
 * "Alphonse Pierre of Pitchfork mentioned that the song didn't" → "Pierre mentioned that the song does not" since the songs still exist
 * "remarked it had" → "remarked the song had"
 * GQ should be italicised
 * Move the Grammy information to the Reception section

In popular culture

 * The 500k videos part is not sourced, plus change to 500,000 for numerical consistency
 * The baritone growl part is not sourced
 * "In the 2020 BET Hip Hop Awards," → "In the 2020 BET Hip Hop Awards," with the wikilink
 * 808 Melo → 808Melo, with no wikilink

Personnel

 * Retitle to Credits and personnel
 * Use so there is the right space between credits and personnel

Weekly charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * Global 200 (Billboard) → Billboard Global 200
 * ❌ --K. Peake 06:08, 8 February 2021 (UTC)


 * Target IFPI to IFPI Greece

Year-end charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION

Certifications

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * Italy certification should be in-between France and New Zealand

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed, but honestly the main problem was original research for this one. --K. Peake 14:38, 5 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Kyle Peake sorry about the delay. It was very hard trying to edit with my parents around... And sorry for the original research. A newbie editor added all those unreliable sources and redundant info. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 04:31, 8 February 2021 (UTC)
 * It is fine about the delay and the OR, you missed a few things sadly which I have pointed out above. --K. Peake 06:08, 8 February 2021 (UTC)
 * , Done. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 07:00, 8 February 2021 (UTC)
 * You missed the opening sentence fix and moving the Variety ref like I said. --K. Peake 07:46, 8 February 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ since it is only two changes so I implemented them which is acceptable in the context of the user indicating at a lack of interest in editing this site. --K. Peake 07:57, 9 February 2021 (UTC)