Talk:Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: ProtoDrake (talk · contribs) 12:38, 28 September 2013 (UTC)

Right, I'll take this on. Expect something in a day or two. --ProtoDrake (talk) 12:52, 28 September 2013 (UTC)

Criteria
 Good Article Status - Review Criteria   		A good article is&mdash;  :
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 * (b).

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 * (b) ; and
 * (c).

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 * (a) ; and
 * (b).

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 * (a) ; and
 * (b).



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Discussion
A few minor points for you. First is in the gameplay section: the piece on Vincent's Limit Breaks doesn't have an accompanying reference. It is not necessary as far as I can tell, but it is probably preferable. The majority are in the plot section and purely matters of grammar and repetition: in the fifth paragraph, the piece where Vincent finds Weiss has one too many 'howevers' there, making the thing read in a clumsy fashion. In the sentence describing Hojo's possession of Weiss, it's not entirely clear which 'he' is which: maybe using 'the latter' in the part referring to Weiss would remove the possible confusion for novices. The last sentence of the sixth paragraph is missing an 'is' between 'Vincent' and 'found'. In the last paragraph, the extra 'however' appears unnecessary. One final note: combining the second and third paragraphs might be an idea to streamline things a little. One last little issue: in the development section, there is a minor error in the sentence "Hideki Imaizumi, the producer of Crisis Core, liked the mysterious role of G so much, he decided to expand his character in that game." Maybe the comma between 'much' and 'he' should be the word 'that'. That's all I can really find on the first lookthrough. --ProtoDrake (talk) 16:11, 28 September 2013 (UTC)
 * Second note: looked through the references, and I'm not sure the direct link to Amazon for the game's Ultimate Hits version is suitable. If it could be possible to find a secondary source that said the same thing, it would be useful. --ProtoDrake (talk) 08:06, 29 September 2013 (UTC)
 * I'll make those changes.Lucia Black (talk) 20:44, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
 * On another note, you don't wait to pass or fail the review. You can show what passes and what fails already and if it can be fixed soon, then you allow the changes to be made before closing the review.Lucia Black (talk) 21:29, 30 September 2013 (UTC)

Okay, I'll try again, this time focusing entirely on the grammar issues. I've run through it again and decided on the ones that really need to be fixed.
 * 1: "However, he is surprised to find Weiss slumped in his chair, dead. However, as Omega begins to manifest itself, Weiss seems to revive, and confronts Vincent." The first 'however' makes it look clumsy.
 * 2: "Omega sprouts wings and tries to ascend from the planet but Vincent manages to destroy it and disapearing in the process." I know this is your most recent edit, but it's clumsily worded: the second 'and' should be a comma, and it's 'disappearing'.
 * 3: "He then found by Shelke outside the cave, and she tells him that everyone else is waiting for him." It would sound a lot better if it was "He is 'then' found by Shelk".

Well, there we are. I've gone through the article again and that's all that really needs doing before I can pass it. --ProtoDrake (talk) 08:28, 3 October 2013 (UTC)
 * Made those three edits. -- Pres N  22:45, 3 October 2013 (UTC)