Talk:Disturbia (song)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Basilisk4u (talk · contribs) 01:11, 6 November 2011 (UTC)

Hey! I am going to review this article. Yay! Basilisk4u (talk) 01:11, 6 November 2011 (UTC)

Comments by Calvin999

 * Info box
 * Change the length parameter from 3:58 to
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Lead
 * → "from the re-release"
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)


 * → "released as the third single"
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)


 * → ""Disturbia" was released to US Contemporary hit radio"
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)


 * → "with production of the song completeed Kennedy"
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)


 * → "Dance-pop and electropop song"
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)


 * As "sizzling" is a quote, you need to put the reference here, even though it's in the Lead.
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)


 * ""club" and "dancefloor-like" qualities", same here, reference(s) needed.
 * I put a hidden note as I really hate putting references in the lead. —  Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)
 * ❌. People reading the Lead won't see a hidden message will they. Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk  14:36, 15 November 2011 (UTC)
 * Even that I do not agree, I added the sources in the lead. — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  17:49, 16 November 2011 (UTC)
 * It's not about whether or not you agree, if you put quotes in the lead, you have to put the reference there, as you are directly quoting. Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk  17:58, 16 November 2011 (UTC)
 * Okay. ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  17:57, 16 November 2011 (UTC)

"Aharoni">Calvin  ]]&bull; Talk That Talk 17:54, 16 November 2011 (UTC)
 * → ",reminiscent of one of Rihanna's previous singles, "Don't Stop the Music"."
 * The source is dead so probably this sentence will be changed.— Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)
 * It still looks the same though? Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk  14:36, 15 November 2011 (UTC)
 * Changed. — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  17:49, 16 November 2011 (UTC)


 * → "by music critics,"
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)


 * → "Best Dance Recording" should be linked, see Only Girl (In the World)
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Instead of saying "The song" twice in the third para, change of them to "Disturbia".
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)


 * → " then highest debut; the song peaked at number one on the chart, and stayed there for two consecutive weeks." Perhaps also state how many number one singles it gave Rihanna at the time?
 * MM I really think it's not necessery since she had only 4 then. — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)
 * Yeah, but because it was her third from that album. Not many artists have three number one singles from the same album. Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk  14:36, 15 November 2011 (UTC)
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  17:51, 16 November 2011 (UTC)


 * → "was directed by Anthony Mandler" How many had he actually directed before "Disturbia" ?
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)


 * → "gas chamber"
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)


 * → "in a prison cell and gass chamber. Other scenes include Rihanna in a gas chamber," Why do you say gas chamber twice? Sort this line out then I will say what else is wrong with it, as it's confusing to you if I explain it now.
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)


 * "The song has been a staple in Rihanna's performances" Makes no sense. I get what you are getting at, but it's not worded well.
 * Re-worded — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)


 * → "set-list
 * ✅ — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  14:26, 15 November 2011 (UTC)

Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk 16:12, 12 November 2011 (UTC)

Will continue other sections a bit later. Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk 14:36, 15 November 2011 (UTC)

Lead round two
Change to:

"Disturbia" is a song by Barbadian recording artist Rihanna, taken from the re-release, Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded (2008), of her third studio album Good Girl Gone Bad (2007). The song was released as the third single from the reloaded edition of the album, and seventh overall. The song was written by Andre Merritt, Chris Brown, Brian Kennedy, Rob. A, with production of the song completed by Kennedy. "Disturbia" is an uptempo dance-pop and electro-pop song with a "sizzling" beat. "Disturbia" was well received by music critics with many of them praising its dark musical tone, lyrics and beat.

"Disturbia" debuted at number eighteen in the US Billboard Hot 100 and became Rihanna's then highest debut. Later, it managed to reach number-one on the chart, and stayed there for two consecutive weeks. With that the song became Rihanna's third number-one single from Good Girl Gone Bad and fourth overall in the United States. The song also reached number one in Belgium (Flanders) and New Zealand and became a top-ten hit in more than twenty countries including Australia, Canada and the United Kingdom. The accompanying music video for "Disturbia" was directed by American director Anthony Mandler, and portrays Rihanna in various situations such as in a prison cell and gas chamber. "Disturbia" has regularly featured in Rihanna's tours and live performances since its release. The song was part of the set-list on her three major tours: Good Girl Gone Bad (2007—09), Last Girl on Earth (2010—11) and Loud Tour (2011).

A lot of it was waffle, the Lead was too long for the article, which isn't that long. Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk 16:53, 24 November 2011 (UTC)
 * ❌ ... And also not planning to do. "Disturbia" is not nominated for FA as "Hard" which by the way is half from "Disturbia". I can cut something from the lead, but this what you wrote here is funny. — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  17:39, 24 November 2011 (UTC)
 * Cut out the radio release, "It is reminiscent of one of Rihanna's previous singles "Don't Stop the Music". Lyrically, the song discusses the general experiences of anguish, anxiety and confusion.", the award it won and the grammy nomination (it's only a nomination, not a win). This is just padding it out. Make the Lead three paragraphs. And cut out the "List of Summer songs" and the About.com, it's pointless in the Lead. Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk  17:55, 24 November 2011 (UTC)
 * ✅ by Jivesh — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  18:14, 24 November 2011 (UTC)
 * I don't want to see four paragraphs, it doesn't look right. Three would look a lot better. And it reads like a list of cold hard facts, the flow is awful. Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk  18:15, 24 November 2011 (UTC)


 * Welcome me warmly RiRi stans. Lol. Calvin, GAN =/= FAC. A four paragraph lead can remain for a song of the standard of "Disturbia". It was very successful, well received by critics, was nominated for awards, and was performed on numerous occasions. Jivesh 1205 (talk) 18:24, 24 November 2011 (UTC)
 * It looks weak, and I stand by it read a like a list of hard facts, the flow is really bad. Three paragraphs would look a lot better. Love the Way You Lie has four, but they are bigger and more informationall. Disturbia is not Love the Way You Lie, nor was it as successful or does it have as much information. I'm standing my ground on this. Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk  18:26, 24 November 2011 (UTC)
 * Oh God, sometimes you really go on my nerves! What looks weak here please? I can tell you at least three Rihanna articles that have weaker leads than "Disturbia"... — Tomica1111  &bull;  Question Existing?  18:32, 24 November 2011 (UTC)
 * Three paragraphs would look a lot stronger than having four. I'm not saying the content is weak, however the are major flow issues. Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk  18:33, 24 November 2011 (UTC)
 * Jivesh has made it into three paragraphs, and it looks a lot better, but the flow is still a problem. (More so that before now). Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk  18:36, 24 November 2011 (UTC)
 * Re-write ✅ Jivesh 1205 (talk) 18:38, 24 November 2011 (UTC)
 * "Jivesh has made it into three paragraphs, and it looks a lot better, but the flow is still a problem. (More so that before now)." Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk  18:39, 24 November 2011 (UTC)
 * I've done this now. Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk  13:08, 25 November 2011 (UTC)

Background
Will start later today. Calvin  &bull; Talk That Talk 13:08, 25 November 2011 (UTC)

GA Pass
All of my concerns have been addressed. As this is not a featured article review, any more concerns can be fixed later. This review has been going on for too long, and Calvin does not appear to be active in the discussion anymore. I strongly believe that this article currently meets the GA standard, and this should be acknowledged. Congratulations! Basilisk4u (talk) 23:50, 27 November 2011 (UTC)