Talk:Doll Domination – The Mini Collection/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 11:40, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

Appropriate for me to review this since not only have we collaborated before, but the GA backlog is going on right now! --K. Peake 11:40, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Recording date is unsourced in the body
 * removed


 * Target Santa Monica to Santa Monica, California
 * changed


 * Too many producers are currently listed per Template:Infobox album
 * , changed per WP:NOEXEC (Ron Fair needed removing)


 * "American girl group The Pussycat Dolls, released" → "American girl group the Pussycat Dolls. It was released" per MOS:THEMUSIC
 * changed


 * "It is an extension of their second studio album" → "The EP is an extension of the group's second studio album,"
 * , changed


 * "previously released singles including" → "previously released singles, such as" with the appropriate target
 * , changed


 * Remove the noting of Missy Elliot's feature as this is trivial for the lead
 * , removed


 * "and "I Hate This Part" as" → "and "I Hate This Part", as"
 * , changed


 * "The Mini Collection was one of" → "The former was one of"
 * ❌, the existing text is clearer. Suggested text is unclear and confusing
 * I made this suggestion because of the title already being used in this para, plus it's clear the EP is former here --K. Peake 07:42, 5 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Neither here nor there to the overall standard of the article ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 21:24, 16 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "era and was released in" → "era, being released in"
 * , changed


 * "legs of their" → "legs of the group's"
 * , changed


 * "Upon release, the EP debuted at number nine in on" → "The EP debuted at number nine on" and this should be moved to being the last sentence of the second paragraph instead
 * ❌, in context of the rest of the lead it doesn't make sense as the second and third paragraph flow together. I would normally agree otherwise.
 * Yeah that is fine, my bar for not looking at context properly. --K. Peake 07:42, 5 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Target Scottish Albums Chart to Scottish Singles and Albums Charts
 * , changed


 * "gold by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI) for sales of at least 100,000 in the UK." → "gold in the United Kingdom by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI)."
 * ❌, no need to change this. Given that its a limited/special release and was region-linked its significant to include sales.
 * Sales in the lead is trivial; that's my issue. --K. Peake 07:42, 5 October 2020 (UTC)
 * That's individual interpretation - certificates/sales are a widely cited e.g. Beyoncé_(album) ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 21:24, 16 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "remake of the original" → "remake of A. R. Rahman's original" with the appropriate wikilink
 * , changed


 * "Jai Ho!" → "Jai Ho" with the target
 * , changed


 * "several charts worldwide including" → "several charts worldwide, including"
 * , changed


 * "number three in UK" → "number three in the UK." since the Hot 100 position is too low to be notable here
 * , kept Billboard Hot 100 as they're US artists and fifteen is hardly "not notable".


 * "The EP also features "Hush Hush; Hush Hush" which was released" → ""Hush Hush; Hush Hush" was released"
 * , changed


 * "second single and is a" → "second single, which is a"
 * , changed


 * "peaking in the top ten on" → "peaking in the top 10 of"
 * , changed


 * "Australia but in the UK it peaked at number 17 and in the US at number 73." → "Australia, though it reached number 17 in the UK and number 73 in the United States."
 * , changed


 * "Both songs attracted controversy" → ""Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)" and "Hush Hush; Hush Hush" both attracted controversy"
 * , changed


 * "Nicole Scherzinger which would lead" → "Nicole Scherzinger, which ended up leading"
 * , changed


 * "from the group's second" → "from the Pussycat Dolls' second"
 * , changed


 * "The release would mark" → "The release of the latter marked"
 * , changed


 * "and a hiatus was for when" → "and a hiatus started when"
 * , changed


 * "one by one the members of the group announced their departures" → "the members of the group announced their departures one by one,"
 * , changed


 * "eventual disbandment of The Pussycat Dolls." → "eventual disbandment of the Pussycat Dolls by 2010."
 * , changed


 * "the group's final album and single respectively," → "the group's final album and single releases, respectively,"
 * , changed


 * "the group decided to reunite in 2019, and the release of a" → "they decided to reunite in 2019, going on to release the"
 * , changed ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 21:39, 4 October 2020 (UTC)

Background and release

 * "confirmed that the group" → "confirmed that the Pussycat Dolls"
 * , changed


 * "continue promoting Doll Domination" → "continue promoting their second studio album Doll Domination (2008),"
 * , changed


 * "an interview Billboard magazine's" → "an interview with Billboard magazine's"
 * , changed


 * "He called Doll Domination" → "He called the album"
 * , changed


 * "had sold 400,000 copies" → "had sold less than 400,000 copies"
 * , changed


 * "was on the way called" → "was set to be released under the title of"
 * , changed


 * "In comparison, the group's first album..." this sentence is not only incorrect because that article is from 2008, but it also off topic since there is no mention of Doll Domination in that article whatsoever
 * Not sure what you mean, this sentence is about the previous album, serving as a comparison between the sales of PCD versus Doll Domination.
 * I am aware it is used to compare the sales of the two albums, but this is trivial since the source about PCD not only offers no mention of the other album, but it is from a different period in time. --K. Peake 07:44, 5 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Resolved ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 21:28, 16 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "During the interview with Graff, Scherzinger explained that" → "Scherzinger explained to Graff that"
 * , changed


 * [1] should solely be at the end of the para now, since [2] is no longer used here
 * See comment above about not being sure about the removal of said content


 * "several reissues of the Doll Domination followed including" → "several reissues of Doll Domination were released, including"
 * , changed


 * "The Mini Collection a six-track" → "The Mini Collection, which is a six-track"
 * Remove wikilink on extended play
 * , changed


 * "within Europe." → "across Europe."
 * , changed


 * "A second EP was also" → "A second EP for the album was also"
 * , changed


 * "in Germany called Doll Domination – Re-edition EP which" → "in Germany entitled Doll Domination – Re-edition EP; it"
 * , changed


 * Target single to Single (music)
 * , changed


 * ""Bottle Pop" (featuring Snoop Dogg)," → ""Bottle Pop" (2009), which features Snoop Dogg,"
 * , changed


 * "It also uses" → "The EP also uses"
 * , changed


 * "All of the releases" → "All of the releases for the album"
 * , changed


 * "of the group's then most recent single" → "of the Pussycat Dolls' then-most recent single"
 * Add release year of the single in brackets
 * , changed


 * "new song "Painted Windows" and" → "their new song "Painted Windows", and"
 * , changed


 * "which was taken from the original release" → "that was included on the original release"
 * , changed

Music and lyrics

 * "and during their support act" → "and appearing as a support act" on the img main text
 * changed


 * Remove wikilink on extended play
 * changed


 * "is 26 minutes and 3 seconds long," → "has a length of 26 minutes and 3 seconds,"
 * changed


 * "from the group's 2008 album, Doll Domination." → "from Doll Domination."
 * changed


 * "It was released on" → "The former was released on"
 * changed


 * "and includes the group's then most recent single" → "and includes"
 * changed


 * Remove wikilink on "Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)"
 * ❌, its fine to link things once in each section
 * Took a look at WP:OVERLINK and you are actually right, in this context; would not be for trivial words or places though. --K. Peake 13:58, 7 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "a new song "Painted Windows" and" → ""Painted Windows", and the remix song"
 * changed


 * Remove wikilink on "Hush Hush; Hush Hush"
 * ❌, see previous comment


 * "a remix of the group's..." remove since like the above, it is repeated from the previous section
 * ❌, see previous comment
 * That is not linking though; it is instead the issue of repetition because do we really need to reintroduce? --K. Peake 13:58, 7 October 2020 (UTC)
 * From a user experience point of view, if you navigate to the section directly, makes more sense to repeat. ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 21:30, 16 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "comprises previously released singles," → "comprises the group's 2008 singles"
 * changed


 * "The EP was preceded" → "The Mini Collection was preceded"
 * changed


 * "the release of a" → "the single release of a"
 * changed


 * ""Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)" which is" → ""Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)", which is"
 * changed


 * "which is taken from the" → "that was included on the"
 * changed


 * "how the song came about, one of the song's writers," → "how the song was created, co-writer"
 * changed


 * Target Evan Kidd Bogart to E. Kidd Bogart
 * changed


 * "Once all interpretations" → "He recalled that once all interpretations"
 * changed


 * "Candace Thorbourne, Nailah Thorbourne and Nyanda Thorbourne are credited" → "Candace Thorbourne, and Nailah and Nyanda Thorbourne received credit" per MOS:SURNAME
 * changed


 * "while Scherzinger and A.R. Rahman corresponded via webcam." → "with Scherzinger and A.R. Rahman corresponding via webcam." with the wikilink
 * changed


 * "replaces the original tune's" → "replaces the original's"
 * changed


 * Target chorus to Refrain
 * changed


 * "the lyrics as" → "described the lyrics as"
 * changed


 * "by Indian poet Gulzar."" → "by Indian poet Gulzar"." for consistency
 * changed


 * "an uptempo electropop song" → "an uptempo electropop song," with the wikilink per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * changed


 * Target synth to Synthesizer
 * changed


 * "and heavily using of" → "alongside heavy usage of"
 * changed


 * Target handclaps to Clapping
 * changed


 * Target pitch-shifted to Pitch shift
 * changed


 * "According to the New York Times Jon Parales," → "According to The New York Times's Jon Pareles," with the wikilinks
 * changed


 * "vocal stylings to Britney Spears her her" → "vocal stylings on the song to Britney Spears with her"
 * changed


 * "originally written for with Spears in mind" → "originally written with Spears in mind"
 * changed


 * "was rejected by Spears' label" → "was rejected by her record label" with the wikilink
 * changed


 * "at the time of creating Spears'" → "at the time of the creation of Spears'"
 * changed


 * "her own debut album before" → "her own debut studio album, before"
 * changed


 * "When the song was given" → "Once "When I Grow Up" was given"
 * changed


 * "Mike "Handz" Donaldson and" → "Mike "Handz" Donaldson, and"
 * changed


 * Target Orlando to Orlando, Florida
 * changed


 * "and was mixed by" → "while mixed by" with the target
 * changed


 * "at Chalice Studios in Los Angeles." → "at Chalice Studios."
 * changed


 * "credits for the song, for its sample" → "credits on the song, as a result of its sample" with the target
 * changed


 * "It was described by" → "The song was described by"
 * changed


 * "as the album's ideological centrepiece." → "as the EP's ideological centrepiece." with the wikilink
 * ❌ - source is describing the song as in context of the album not the EP


 * "In writing for the paper," → "Writing for the newspaper,"
 * changed


 * "Randy Lewis said" → "Randy Lewis said,"
 * changed


 * "and the Dolls’ smug" → "and the Dolls' smug"
 * changed


 * "were picked up by" → "were noticed by"
 * changed


 * Target dark to Darkness in music
 * changed


 * Target club to Electronic dance music
 * changed


 * "A R&B and electropop midtempo," → "A R&B and electropop midtempo song," with the target
 * changed


 * "atop a melody of chants and" → "over a melody of chants,"
 * changed


 * Target vocal harmonies to Vocal harmony
 * changed


 * [20][15][21] should be put in numerical order
 * changed


 * "noted that the group sounded" → "noted that they sounded"
 * changed


 * "features guest verses" → "features guest verses from"
 * changed


 * "of "Je M'appelle Jane" written" → "of "Je M'appelle Jane", written"
 * changed


 * "Noah from the website Idolator wrote" → "Noah from Idolator wrote"
 * changed


 * "a reminiscent of Whitney Houston's song" → "reminiscent of Whitney Houston's single"
 * "during one of her verses" → "during one of the verses"
 * changed


 * "Meanwhile "Painted Windows" reunited the group" → "Meanwhile, "Painted Windows" reunited the Pussycat Dolls"
 * changed


 * "and was described by Digital Spy's" → "with the song being described by Digital Spy's"
 * changed


 * Rap-Up should be italicised
 * changed


 * "in the album booklet." → "in the booklet for The Mini Collection."
 * changed


 * Remove wikilink on "I Hate This Part"
 * changed


 * "'One Step at a Time' (2008)."" → "'One Step at a Time' (2008)"."
 * changed


 * "and Mich Hansen and produced by the latter two" → "and Mich Hansen, while produced by the latter of the two"
 * changed


 * "Ron Fair and Scherzinger who also served" → "Fair and Scherzinger, with Fair also serving
 * changed


 * Remove wikilink on Denmark
 * changed


 * Wikilink Santa Monica, California
 * changed


 * "with the assistance from" → "with the assistance of"
 * changed


 * Remove target on mixed
 * changed


 * Target Conway Studios to Conway Recording Studios
 * changed


 * Remove wikilink on instrumentation
 * changed


 * Target programming to Programming (music)
 * changed


 * Remove target on English
 * changed


 * Target rock to Rock music
 * changed


 * Remove target on American
 * changed


 * "ballad with influences of R&B" → "ballad, with influences of R&B" with the target
 * changed


 * Target syncopated to Syncopation
 * changed


 * "solo debut album Her Name Is Nicole which" → "debut studio album Her Name Is Nicole, which"
 * changed


 * Remove wikilink on "Hush Hush; Hush Hush"
 * changed


 * "of the Doll Domination song "Hush Hush"." → "of "Hush Hush"."
 * changed


 * Wikilink disco
 * changed


 * "during the Doll Domination Tour," → "during the Doll Domination Tour by the group,"
 * changed


 * "for the interpolation" → "due to the interpolation"
 * changed


 * "Quiz & Larossi while Scherzinger" → "Quiz & Larossi, while Scherzinger"
 * changed ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 14:00, 10 October 2020 (UTC)

Singles

 * Remove wikilink on "Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)"
 * ❌ - there's no issue with linking to things once in each new section


 * Remove target on soundtrack
 * ❌ - there's no issue with linking to things once in each new section


 * "on March 13 which was" → "on March 13 of that year, which was"


 * Remove wikilink on Austria


 * "The group recreate" → "the group recreate"


 * Remove wikilink on Slumdog Millionaire
 * ❌ - there's no issue with linking to things once in each new section
 * Why is this wikilinked on the second mention in the section instead of the first? --K. Peake 10:42, 16 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "around the world including" → "around the world, including"


 * "native country of the United States." → "native country of the US."


 * "at number three and as of 2017, had sold" → "at number three on the UK Singles Charts and as of 2017, it has sold"


 * "to become the group's second" → "to become the Pussycatt Dolls' second"


 * "selling single in the territory behind" → "selling single in the UK, behind"


 * "The single was included" → "The song was included"


 * "part of their set list" → "part of the group's set list"


 * "supporting slot on Britney Spears's" → "support slot on Spears'"
 * ❌ - there's no issue with linking to things once in each new section
 * You are supposed to refer to people by surnames after the first mention if they are identified by their real name --K. Peake 10:42, 16 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Wikilink encore


 * "on the set list the group's own" → "on the set list for the former's"
 * ❌ - reads awkwardly
 * Either way, you should not refer to them as "the group" for consistency --K. Peake 10:42, 16 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Remove wikilink on "Hush Hush; Hush Hush"
 * ❌ - there's no issue with linking to things once in each new section


 * "of the Doll Domination album track "Hush Hush"." → "of "Hush Hush"."
 * - changed


 * "to be released on April 28 with" → "to be released on April 28, 2009, with"
 * - changed


 * "featured artist,[42]" → "featured artist;[42] this led to"
 * - changed


 * "just like their..." remove this since it is not backed up by any sources
 * - changed


 * "The official music video premiered" → "The song's music video premiered"
 * - changed


 * "peaked in the top ten" → "peaked in the top 10"
 * ❌, not required per MOS:NUMERAL
 * "Integers from zero to nine are spelled out in words." This is ten, not nine or less... --K. Peake 10:42, 16 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "including number four" → "including number 4" per MOS:NUM
 * ❌, not correct per MOS:NUMERAL, which says "Integers from zero to nine are spelled out in words."
 * Read MOS:NUM on comparative values, though --K. Peake 10:42, 16 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "number five in" → "number 5 in"
 * ❌, not correct per MOS:NUMERAL, which says "Integers from zero to nine are spelled out in words."


 * "number six in" → "number 6 in"
 * ❌, not correct per MOS:NUMERAL, which says "Integers from zero to nine are spelled out in words."


 * "number ten in" → "number 10 in"
 * ❌, not correct per MOS:NUMERAL, which says "Integers from zero to nine are spelled out in words." ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 09:49, 15 October 2020 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * Remove the ratings box since it is only one review and already written in prose that it was four stars


 * "Nick Levine siad that "at" → "Nick Levine said of The Mini Collection that "at"


 * "little strange" suggesting" → "little strange", suggesting"


 * "track by track so" → "track by track, so"


 * "to assemble a six track mini album" → "to assemble the EP"
 * ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 12:35, 21 October 2020 (UTC)

Legacy

 * The info about "Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)" does not appear to be backed up at all
 * I followed the principles of WP:CITE, its a fact that "Jai Ho!" features Nicole Scherzinger. its in the single listings, the cover art etc. This doesn't need sourcing?


 * "...follow up single "Hush Hush; Hush Hush" also initially listed the singer" → ""Hush Hush; Hush Hush" initially listed Scherzinger"


 * Remove wikilink on The Circus Starring Britney Spears
 * See previous comments about linking


 * "in Glendale, Arizona, Melody Thornton addressed" → "in Glendale, Arizona, Thornton addressed" with the wikilink


 * "during their break saying," → "during the break, saying,"


 * "let me give" → "[l]et me give"


 * "not featured" referring" → "not featured", referring"


 * "of the singles," → "of the single," unless you can source it for the other single
 * ❌, the two singles "Jai Ho!" and "Hush Hush; Hush Hush" are being talked about


 * "them, ever."" → "them, ever"."


 * "later referred about her" → "later spoke about her"


 * "during a radio interview. "It's" → "during a radio interview: "It's"


 * "Hush Hush; Hush Hush" needs speech marks


 * Remove target on digital download


 * "of the Doll Domination Tour, the group" → "of the Doll Domination Tour, the Pussycat Dolls"


 * "confirmation from group's founder" → "confirmation from group founder"


 * "confirming by that new members" → "that new members"


 * "became the groups' least releases until 2019 when the group" → "became the group's last releases, until in 2019 when they"


 * "taking part in the reunion," → "taking part in the reunion;"


 * "but Melody Thornton would not" → "but Thornton would not"


 * "the group released a new single" → "the Pussycat Dolls released their new single"
 * ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 12:35, 21 October 2020 (UTC)

Track listing

 * There is no source here; add the credits one at the top of the section


 * Scherzinger → Nicole Scherzinger under writers, with the wikilink


 * Target Evan Bogart to E. Kidd Bogart


 * The Writing Camp and Brick & Lace should both only be targeted to on the first mention of the members here
 * Not sure what you mean, but its standard practice to link each member of the group


 * Rahman → A. R. Rahman under producers, with the wikilink


 * Target Theron Thomas to R. City and remove target on Timothy Thomas


 * Elliott → Missy Elliott under songwriters, with the wikilink


 * Remove target to Quiz & Larossi for Josef Larossi
 * See previous comment


 * Notes and samples should be subheadings, not subsections


 * "He's Always There" as written by Jim McCarty and Paul Samwell-Smith performed → "He's Always There", as written by Jim McCarty and Paul Samwell-Smith, and performed


 * "Je M'appelle Jane" as written by Mickael Furnon performed → "Je M'appelle Jane", as written by Mickael Furnon and performed


 * "I Will Survive" as written by Freddie Perren and Dino Fekaris and → "I Will Survive", as written by Freddie Perren and Dino Fekaris, and an


 * by David Blumberg performed → by David Blumberg, as performed
 * ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 12:41, 21 October 2020 (UTC)

Personnel and credits

 * Retitle to Credits and personnel


 * The imgs here are not needed, since it is not required for pics of so many musicians
 * ❌, there's no set standard for what can and can't be done and its unusual for us to be able to have images for all of the personnel involved. I see no issue with this.


 * You should not have these tables; lay it out like most credits and personnel sections plus instead put (track...) for people's credits with the numbers in the brackets rather than separate tracks
 * ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 15:15, 21 October 2020 (UTC)

Commercial and chart performance

 * The para here should be in a separate section titled Commercial performance and move it to being directly before the track listing


 * "In the United Kingdom," → "In the UK,"


 * "debuted at number 9" → "debuted at number nine"


 * "the UK Albums Chart with first-week sales" → "the UK Albums Chart, with first-week sales"


 * "This is less than" → "This was less than"


 * "the group's debut album" → "the group's debut studio album"


 * "70,000 copies[62] and was certified silver" → "70,000 copies in the UK." moving [62] to the end of the sentence and remove [63], since it was later certified gold so silver is non-notable


 * "the release was certified Gold," → "the EP was certified gold by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI)" with the wikilink
 * ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }-

Charts

 * This should be its own section and come straight after credits and personnel


 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION

Certifications

 * Should be its own section and come directly after charts


 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION


 * The bottom of the table is incorrect
 * edited ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 21:31, 21 October 2020 (UTC)

Release history

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * Target CD to Compact disc

Final comments and verdict

 * but one issue I noticed throughout the review was that you have been heavily overlinking in this article. --K. Peake 21:02, 4 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Be sure to respond wherever I have questioned you directly. --K. Peake 11:50, 16 October 2020 (UTC)
 * , will do! I'm about half way through. I'll go back and respond to any prior comments too in the next round. ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 11:58, 16 October 2020 (UTC)
 * I think I've made all of the changes (or addressed if necessary). ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 22:00, 21 October 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ now even if it is a while after the review, though you do have some proper reasons for not implementing certain changes. --K. Peake 07:14, 22 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Cheers. Always a pleasure to work with a kind/thoughtful and insightful reviewer. ≫  Lil- Unique1  -{ Talk  }- 08:00, 22 October 2020 (UTC)