Talk:Don't Smile at Me/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 20:09, 20 September 2020 (UTC)

Fulfilling your request; the review will start tomorrow, though. --K. Peake 20:09, 20 September 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Cover art needs alt text
 * Remove flatlist from the infobox and only use bullet points on their own
 * Singles should have the release dates that they were released as singles; "Ocean Eyes" is an example of where this needs fixing
 * "released on August 11, 2017" → "released on August 11, 2017,"
 * "The EP was written" → "The majority of the material on the EP was written"
 * Mention him as Finneas instead for consistency with the article's body
 * "the latter solely handled the proudction." → "the latter of which solely handled production."
 * "Don't Smile at Me is an" → "It is an"
 * Target R&B to Contemporary R&B
 * Wikilink Jazz instead of the target
 * "was supported by the release of multiple singles." → "was supported by the release of seven singles, from 2016 to 2018." with the appropriate target
 * "were both Sleeper hit's, charting" → "were both sleeper hits, ending up charting"
 * Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine)
 * "at number 12." → "at number 12 on the chart."
 * "with Eilish embarking" → "by Eilish embarking"
 * "in 2017 and 2018." → "in 2017 and 2018, respectively."
 * "The EP also entered" → "It also entered"
 * "in many other countries." → "in numerous other countries, including Australia and Ireland."
 * "It received generally favorable reviews from critics," → "The EP received generally favorable reviews from music critics" with the target and this should be the opening sentence of the para instead since critical reception comes before commercial
 * The nomination sentence will come directly after the critical reception sentence in the new order; it will be followed by commercial reception info
 * Target "Hostage" to Hostage (song)
 * Target Best Cinematography to MTV Video Music Award for Best Cinematography
 * "was re-issued titled" → "was re-issued under the title of"
 * "that included a previously" → "with the re-issue including a previously"
 * "gold in the United States." → "gold in the United States by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)." with the appropriate wikilink
 * "included two previously" → "was later released, which includes two previously"
 * Target Khalid to Khalid (singer)
 * "The former was commerically sucessful peaking" → "The former single was commercially successful, peaking"
 * "The latter was certified platinum in the United States and Canada." → ""Bitches Broken Hearts" was certified platinum in the US and Canada by the RIAA and Music Canada (MC), respectively." with the wikilink

Background

 * "Eilish told" → "In July 2017, Eilish told"
 * "plot. The only tie-together? "I'm" → "plot." She explained, stating: "The only time-together? 'I'm"
 * "me hate me.'"" → "me hate me.''"
 * "Don't Smile at Me was" → "The majority of the material for Don't Smile at Me was"
 * Introduce Finneas under his stage name instead
 * "which also produced it." → "produced the EP in its entirety."
 * "and Rob Kinelski handled the" → "and Rob Kinelski handled" with the target

Music and lyrics
Kyle Peake the source says it's from her perspective. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 01:26, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Target R&B to Contemporary R&B
 * Wikilink Jazz instead of the target
 * "It opens with" → "The EP opens with"
 * No where is it mentioned in the sources that the song is pop; the title only calls her a "pop singer"
 * "It features a minimalist production" → "It features minimalist production," with the target
 * "to someone who kept" → "to people who she felt kept"
 * "pop and R&B track" → "pop and R&B song,"
 * "finds Eilish singing about" → "features Eilish singing about"
 * "and negative self-esteem." → "and low self-esteem." since this is more encyclopedic
 * "by boys who broke Eilish's heart." the source does not state or imply this, even with the lyrics to the chorus?
 * "production consisting of a" → "production, which consists of a"
 * Wikilink pop ballad instead per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * "writing a missive" → "sending a message"
 * ""Watch" starts with the" → The track starts with the"
 * "and continues throughout" → "that continues throughout"
 * Do not capitalise folk
 * "and is the only song on the EP that includes Eilish" → "that includes Eilish" since the "only song" statement is not backed up
 * Target ukelele to Ukulele
 * "on his birthday through" → "on his birthday, through"
 * "is a midtempo" → "is a mid tempo" with the wikilink
 * "It has influences" → "The song has influences"
 * "The song's lyrics were" → "The lyrics of the song were"
 * "a psychopath. Who kills" → "of a psychopath who kills"
 * "is a pop, dream-pop," → "is a pop, dream pop" with the wikilink
 * "indie-pop and R&B" → "indie pop and R&B" with the wikilink
 * [21][22][2][23][24] should not all be at the end of the sentence and any that are should be in numerical order
 * Target percussion to Percussion instrument
 * Target synth to Synthesizer
 * "is about a love letter to Eilish's" → "is a love letter to Eilish's"
 * "The EP closes with" → "Don't Smile at Me closes with"
 * "about an intense love Eilish feels for a boy" → "about an intense love that Eilish feels for someone"
 * "having an overwhelming desire to" → "an overwhelming desire she has to"
 * "The December edition of Don't Smile at Me contains" → "The December re-issue of the EP contains"
 * "additional track. "&Burn"" → "additional track; "&Burn""
 * "Vince Staples is a" → "Vince Staples, which is a"
 * "It features minimalist production of drums and a keyboard." → "The song features minimalist production, with "booming" drums." since a keyboard is not mentioned
 * "It also starts with" → "Similarly to "Watch", the song starts with"
 * "for its main beat." → "for the main beat."
 * "it was under the title" → "it went under the title"
 * "separate songs, with one being "Watch", and the other being "&Burn"." → "separate songs; "Watch" and "&Burn", respectively."
 * ""Lovely" featuring Khalid is" → ""Lovely", featuring Khalid, is" with the targets
 * Remove wikilink on piano
 * "strings provided by" → "strings that were provided by" with the target
 * "Eilish and Khalid sing" → "In the track, Eilish and Khalid sing"
 * "inside of their own mind." → "inside of one's own mind."
 * [35][12] should be put in numerical order
 * ""Bitches Broken Hearts" received additional production by Emmit Fenn," → "Emmit Fenn handled additional production of the track,"
 * "the first Billie Eilish song" → "the first song by Eilish"
 * "Eilish pretends that" → "with Eilish pretending that" but are you sure that's her perspective or elsewise?

Promotion

 * Img needs alt text and reword the main text to be something more relevant to this section, as they are seen performing together in the img
 * Tour info should come at the very end of this section instead
 * "and Where's My Mind Tour." → "and Where's My Mind Tour during 2017 and 2018, respectively."
 * Are you sure more info can't be given, like a brief overview of the tours; see The Life of Pablo for example?
 * The sub-section should be under the main section fully and begin it
 * Remove wikilinks on the singles since they have already been done in the music and lyrics section after some brief copyediting by me
 * "November 18, 2015 on" → "November 18, 2015 via"
 * "was released as the EP's lead single." → "was released as the lead single from Don't Smile at Me."
 * "Although it didn't initially chart," → "Although the song did not chart initially,"
 * Wikilink sleeper hit
 * "debut studio album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?. The song reached" → "debut studio album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, reaching"
 * "The song received a 4x platinum certification in Australia" → "The song was certified quadruple platinum in Australia by the Australia Recording Industry Association (ARIA)" with the wikilink
 * "received triple certifications" → "received triple platinum certifications"
 * At the end of the sentence, identify the Recording Industry Association of America, MC Canada and IFPI Denmark as being the respective certifiers like you did with the Australian one
 * "two music videos. The first" → "two music videos; the first" with the wikilink
 * "The second was a dance performance music video which was" → "The second is a dance performance music video that was"
 * "was released On" → "was released on"
 * "It included remixes" → "It includes remixes"
 * "Goldhouse and" → "Goldhouse, and"
 * "as the second single from the EP." → "as the second single from Don't Smile at Me." with the target
 * "It was also" → "The song was also"
 * Write out how many weeks it was on the chart since this info is mentioned in the lead so needs to be sourced in the body
 * "in the United States, Australia" → "in the US, Australia,"
 * "Mexico." → "Mexico by the RIAA, ARIA and Asociación Mexicana de Productores de Fonogramas y Videogramas (AMPROFON), respectively." with the wikilink and this is the same layout I was talking about for the US, Canada and Denmark certifications apart from this one has RIAA and ARIA abbreviated since they have already been mentioned by the full company names
 * "It was promoted with a music video, which was released on March 22, 2017 and was" → "An accompanying music video was released on March 22, 2017, which was"
 * "It was remixed" → ""Bellyache" was remixed"
 * "and released on" → "with the remix being released on"
 * "released as the third single" → "released as the third single from Don't Smile at Me"
 * "It was certified platinum in the United States, Canada and Australia." → "The track was certified platinum in the US, Canada, and Australia by the RIAA, MC, and the ARIA, respectively."
 * "released as the fourth single" → "released as the EP's fourth single"
 * "on January 12, 2018 by" → "on January 12, 2018, by"
 * "It peaked at number 12" → "The song peaked at number 12"
 * "while also being certified platinum." → "while ultimately being certified platinum in the US by the RIAA."
 * "released as the fifth single" → "released as the fifth single from Don't Smile at Me"
 * "It was certified double platinum in the United States." → "The track was certified double platinum in the US by the RIAA."
 * "The album's sixth single," → "The EP's sixth single,"
 * "and was released" → "which was released"
 * "certified platinum in the United States." → "certified platinum in the US by the RIAA."
 * ""&Burn" featuring American rapper Vince Staples was released" → ""&Burn", featuring American rapper Vince Staples, was released as a single"
 * "was later released" → "was later included"
 * "It was certified gold in the United States." → "The song was certified gold in the US by the RIAA."
 * "on a exclusive" → "on an exclusive"
 * "written by" → "originally performed and written by"
 * "It was ultimately certified gold in the United States." → ""Party Favor" was certified gold in the US by the RIAA."
 * ""Lovely" featuring Khalid was" → ""Lovely", featuring Khalid, was"
 * "It received a music video that" → ""Lovely" received a music video, which"
 * "5x platinum in Australia, 4x platinum in Canada," → "octuple platinum in Australia by the ARIA, quadruple platinum in Canada by MC," etc, naming the correct organisations that certified the track
 * "It was also included" → "It was ultimately included"
 * Identify the addition as "Expanded Edition" since you can abbreviate by now
 * "It was certified platinum in the United States and Canada. " → "The song was certified platinum in the US and Canada by the RIAA, and MC, respectively." removing excess spacing
 * "Despite not being released as a single, a music video for the" → "Despite it not being released as a single, a music video for the track"
 * "and produced by Henry Scholfield." → "that Henry Scholfield produced."
 * "It was certified platinum in the United States and Canada. " → "The song was certified platinum in the US and Canada by the RIAA, and MC, respectively."

Critical reception

 * Retitle to Reception and merge the following section with this one
 * "received critical acclaim from music critics." → "was met with generally favorable reviews from music critics" with the target
 * Add the Tom Hull review to prose
 * "of PluggedIn said about the album," → "of Plugged In said of the EP," with the target
 * "said "Sixteen-year-old" → "wrote, "Sixteen-year-old"
 * "accomplished than on her debut album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? (2019)." → "accomplished than that of When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?." since you have already introduced the album in this article

Commercial performance

 * This para can be in the Reception section as the second one
 * Remove wikilink on sleeper hit
 * "It then broke into" → "The EP later broke into"
 * "on the list," → "on the chart,"
 * "with 7,000 units." → "with 7,000 album-equivalent units". with the wikilink
 * "It reached the top 40" → "Don't Smile at Me reached the top 40 of the Billboard 200"
 * "with 12,000 units including" → "with 12,000 units, including"
 * Remove target on SEA and correctly identify as streaming equivalent album units
 * "its 56th charting week, in the week ending" → "its 56th charting week for the issue dated"
 * "the EP has earned" → "the EP has sold"
 * "in the United States. It has also" → "in the US and has also"
 * Mention some of the other countries the album charted on the charts of in this para, specifically high positions like Lithuania

Track listing

 * All tracks are produced by F. O'Connell, except where noted. → All tracks are produced solely by F. O'Connell, except where noted.
 * Add citation(s) after the introduction mentioned above to verify the writing and production
 * Target "Hostage" to Hostage (song)
 * December reissue → December reissue bonus track
 * Expanded edition → Expanded edition bonus tracks
 * Wikilink all lowercase per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * is an alternate remixed version → is an alternate version

Personnel

 * Fix the dash next to Billie Eilish for consistency
 * Vocals should not be capitalised
 * Why is Finneas not mentioned as a songwriter?
 * Target Rob Kinelski to Cocaine 80s

Charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION for all of these

Weekly charts

 * Icelandic Albums (Tonlist) → Icelandic Albums (Plötutíðindi)
 * Iceland needs an archive added to back up the chart position

Year-end charts

 * Estonian Albums (IFPI) → Estonia (Eesti Tipp-100), with the target
 * US Alternative Albums → US Top Alternative Album (Billboard)
 * US Alternative Albums (Billboard) → US Top Alternative Album (Billboard)

Certifications

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * The NZ certification is Platinum, not 2x Platinum

Final comments and verdict

 * It has been great reviewing this article so far, but it turns out I will unfortunately have to ❌ it due to the edit warring that was going on earlier this month. Now, I am aware that this is not the nominator's fault at all, but the article meets the criteria for immediate failure. --K. Peake 08:28, 22 September 2020 (UTC)
 * This article is being re-opened by me for review now, as the previous failure due to a lack of stability was a mistake on my part since that happened before this article was even nominated, never mind reviewed. --K. Peake 11:43, 23 September 2020 (UTC)
 * after completing the article review following on from me reopening it. --K. Peake 14:30, 24 September 2020 (UTC)

Kyle Peake, apologies for taking so long to respond. I have been so busy this week with school... The Ultimate Boss (talk) 06:03, 1 October 2020 (UTC) Kyle Peake, I have changed the link to the December edition. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 21:26, 11 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Late on fixing all of the issues, but here is a well-deserved ✅! --K. Peake 07:54, 12 October 2020 (UTC)