Talk:Dona Bertarelli

Hagiography
Please can contributors be careful when editing this article to ensure that they maintain a neutral point of view. There have been far too many instances of lavish phrasing, of reverting to the subject's first name rather than last name etc. This is an encyclopedia and the language used needs to reflect that.

I am aware that at least some of the previous editors have been employees of Ms Bertarelli and suspect that this situation may be continuing, so it would also assist if those who have not read Wikipedia's policy regarding conflict of interest did so. Thanks. - Sitush (talk) 15:35, 22 June 2011 (UTC)

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General update
Hello dear Wikipedians,

I work for Mrs Dona Bertarelli and her husband Mr Yann Guichard (both have Wikipedia entries) at the family office Ledunfly in Switzerland. I would like to suggest a number of updates to include and new information to complete the page. I'm new to Wikipedia editing and will always try to follow the guidelines about providing content which is neutral and verifiable - and am open to your feedback.

Please could you take a moment to review and please don't hesitate to let me know of any additional needed citations etc.

Thank you very much!

MiaNorcaro (talk) 10:08, 23 September 2019 (UTC)I can provide a more recent photo, taken in April 2017

In the introduction, I suggest adding that she is a Swiss 'philanthropist' as she is co-chair of the Bertarelli Foundation, a founding patron of Womanity and founder of Spindrift Foundation  (sorry page not available in English).

Her title on the Bertarelli Foundation is 'Co-chair' not 'Co-President'.

She won Bol d'Or race again in 2014.

In the winter of 2015 to 2016, during her sailing team Spindrift racing's attempt to break the record for the Jules Verne Trophy which she co-skippered with Yann Guichard, she became the fastest woman to sail around the world.

In the profile box, it is worth adding that she is Swiss  and that her spouse is Yann Guichard.

In the section on Childhood and education please note that her mother is Maria Iris Bertarelli  and that the more recent statistic from Forbes is of her individual wealth is 456th worldwide.

In the section on Philanthropy in the first paragraph, please note that the Bertarelli Foundation's focus since 2008 is on marine conservation and science, neuroscience and projects in local communities. Projects supported by the Bertarelli Foundation in marine conservation have included the creation, in partnership with the Pew Charitable Trusts, of the 720,000 km2 Rapa Nui Marine Protected Area around Easter Island, decreed in 2018.

In the second paragraph first sentence, these campaigns are now over, and the past tense would be better used. Dona Bertarellis is a founding patron (I think this is the more commonly English word rather than 'godmother') of the Womanity Foundation (not charity).

Since this page was last updated, Dona Bertarelli and her husband Yann Guichard have created the Spindrift for Schools programme in 2015  to coincide with their attempt on the Jules Verne Trophy. Spindrift for Schools provides a series of lessons for children to learn about the ocean and sporting values. The programme continues to focus on Spindrift racing as well as developing new material inspired by the global drive for greater representation of sporting values and ethics within schools (sorry, this coverage about the open day is only in French as the programme is for French and Swiss-French schools).

In the Sailing section, I think some context is missing about the creation of the Spindrift racing, as it's a professional sailing team created in 2011, based in Brittany, France.

The list of sailing achievements in the third paragraph is incomplete. Bertarelli was twice awarded the SUI Female Sailor of the Year (2014 and 2016) (second link only in French, sorry). She won the Bol d’Or Mirabaud on Lake Geneva in 2010 on her D35 catamaran Ladycat powered by Spindrift racing. She won the Fastnet Race twice, onboard Spindrift 2 (2013 and 2015). In 2014, she won the Bol d’Or Mirabaud a second time. In 2016, she won the Transat Quebec St Malo, setting a new course record with Spindrift 2. Dona Bertarelli is the fastest woman to have sailed around the world, having completed a Jules Verne Trophy attempt in the winter of 2015-2016 with Spindrift 2.

Also, since the page was updated, Dona Bertarelli has had two books published, so please could you consider adding a new section for Bibliography.

Dona Bertarelli and Yann Guichard (2016) L’Aventure Spindrift: Five years of a sailing odyssey. Editions Favre ISBN 978-2-8289-1586-5 Dona Bertarelli (2016) J’ai Osé. Editions Favre. ISBN 978-2-8289-1592-6

Thanks a lot!

MiaNorcaro(talk) MiaNorcaro (talk) 09:07, 12 October 2018 (UTC)

Reply 16-JUN-2019

 * Your edit request could not be reviewed because the provided references are not formatted correctly. The citation style predominantly used by the Dona Bertarelli article is Citation Style 1 (CS1). The citation style used in the edit request consists of bare URL's. Any requested edit of yours which may be implemented will need to resemble the current style already in use in the article – in this case, CS1. (See WP:CITEVAR.) In the extended section below titled Citation style, I have illustrated two examples: one showing how the edit request was submitted, and another showing how requests should be submitted in the future:

Bare URL reference formatting: The Sun's diameter is 864,337 miles,[1] while the Moon's diameter is 2,159 miles.[2] The Sun's temperature is 5,778 degrees Kelvin.[3]

References

1. 2.  3.

In the example above there are three URL's provided with the claim statements, but these URL's have not been placed using Citation Style 1, which is the style predominantly used by the Dona Bertarelli article. Using this style, the WikiFormatted text should resemble the following:

Citation Style 1 formatting: The Sun's diameter is 864,337 miles, while the Moon's diameter is 2,159 miles. The Sun's temperature is 5,778 degrees Kelvin. Displays as: The Sun's diameter is 864,337 miles,[1] while the Moon's diameter is 2,159 miles.[2] The Sun's temperature is 5,778 degrees Kelvin.[3]

References

^ Sjöblad, Tristan. . Academic Press, 2019, p. 1. ^ Harinath, Paramjit. (2019)., Science, 51(78):46. ^ Uemura, Shū. . Academic Press, 2019, p. 2. 

In the example above the references have been formatted according to Citation Style 1, which shows the author, the source's name, date, etc., all information which is lost when only the links are provided. As Wikipedia is a volunteer project, edit requests such yours are generally expected to have this formatting done before the request is submitted for review.

Kindly rewrite your edit request so that it aligns more with the second example shown in the collapsed section above, and feel free to re-submit that edit request at your earliest convenience. If you have any questions about this formatting please don't hesitate to ask myself or another editor. Regards, Spintendo  23:29, 16 July 2019 (UTC)

Reply 23-SEP-2019
Thank you very much Spintendo, for your guidance, which I appreciate a lot! I think I've now managed to correct the citation style throughout the below text.

Please do let me know if this is alright, or if anything else would need to be corrected?

I would also be grateful for a feedback as to whether I have managed to be as neutral as possible despite the conflict of interest?

Thanks a lot!

Corrected citations in edit request
In the introduction, I suggest adding that she is a Swiss 'philanthropist' as she is co-chair of the Bertarelli Foundation, a founding patron of Womanity, and founder of Spindrift Foundation , (sorry page not available in English). Her title on the Bertarelli Foundation is 'Co-chair' not 'Co-President'. She won the Bol d'Or regatta twice with Ladycat: in 2010 and in 2014, while her sailing team won again with Ladycat in 2016 and in 2019

In the winter of 2015 to 2016, during her sailing team Spindrift racing's attempt to break the record for the Jules Verne Trophy which she co-skippered with Yann Guichard, she became the fastest woman to sail around the world In the profile box, it is worth adding that she is Swiss and that her spouse is Yann Guichard. In the section on Childhood and education please note that her mother is Maria Iris Bertarelli and that the more recent statistic from Forbes is of her individual wealth is 394th worldwide

In the section on Philanthropy in the first paragraph, please note that the Bertarelli Foundation's focus since 2008 is on marine conservation and science, neuroscience and projects in local communities. . Projects supported by the Bertarelli Foundation in marine conservation have included the creation, in partnership with the Pew Charitable Trusts, of the 720,000 km2 Rapa Nui Marine Protected Area around Easter Island, decreed in 2018

In the second paragraph first sentence, these campaigns are now over, and the past tense would be better used. Dona Bertarellis is a founding patron (I think this is the more commonly English word rather than 'godmother') of the Womanity Foundation (not charity)

Since this page was last updated, Dona Bertarelli and her husband Yann Guichard have created the Spindrift for Schools programme in 2015 to coincide with their attempt on the Jules Verne Trophy. Spindrift for Schools provides a series of lessons for children to learn about the ocean and sporting values. The programme continues to focus on Spindrift racing as well as developing new material inspired by the global drive for greater representation of sporting values and ethics within schools (sorry, this coverage about the open day is only in French as the programme is for French and Swiss-French schools).

In the Sailing section, I think some context is missing about the creation of the Spindrift racing, as it's a professional sailing team created in 2011, based in Brittany, France

The list of sailing achievements in the third paragraph is incomplete. Bertarelli was twice awarded the SUI Female Sailor of the Year (2014 and 2016) (second link only in French, sorry)

She won the Bol d’Or Mirabaud on Lake Geneva in 2010 on her D35 catamaran Ladycat powered by Spindrift racing and in 2014, while her sailing team won again with Ladycat in 2016 and in 2019

She won the Fastnet Race twice, onboard Spindrift 2 (2013 and 2015). In 2014, she won the Bol d’Or Mirabaud a second time

In 2016, she won the Transat Quebec St Malo, setting a new course record with Spindrift 2. Dona Bertarelli is the fastest woman to have sailed around the world, having completed a Jules Verne Trophy attempt in the winter of 2015-2016 with Spindrift 2

Also, since the page was updated, Dona Bertarelli has had two books published, so please could you consider adding a new section for Bibliography.

Dona Bertarelli and Yann Guichard (2016) L’Aventure Spindrift: Five years of a sailing odyssey. Editions Favre ISBN 978-2-8289-1586-5 Dona Bertarelli (2016) J’ai Osé. Editions Favre. ISBN 978-2-8289-1592-6 MiaNorcaro(talk)MiaNorcaro (talk) 10:08, 23 September 2019 (UTC)

Thank you for your work revising these references, it's much appreciated. The only issues I see remaining are the following:
 * 1) References from Wikipedia itself should be removed, and alternates should be found for any claims which used them, per WP:WINRS.
 * 2) In many references the author information is missing. This can be added by using the last and first parameters to add the author's first and last name to the citation.
 * 3) Dates should be added to any reference which posted their publication date. You may use the date parameter for this.
 * 4) Duplicate references should be given duplicate ref tags. To create a duplicate ref tag, instead of using the regular opening ref tag{{blockquote|text={{green| }} placed at the end of the citation, the entire reference would look like this:{{blockquote|text={{green| }}}}Then the next instance where a ref tag needs to be placed using that same reference, you would just use the duplicate ref tag{{blockquote|text={{green|  }}}} Please note that you insert the slash and greater than symbols {{key|/|>}} instead of just the greater than symbol {{key|>}} at the end to indicate that it is a duplicate ref tag (without the full citation). That way, the entire citation with all of the information need not be repeated again and again for duplicate instances — the full citation is only used in the first instance. All the duplicates will be merged in the final references list. Where it says "duplicatenamehere", that is where you can enter any name you like, and then just use that name in the next instance where you need that same reference to be used.
 * If you have any questions please dont hesitate to ask. Regards, Spintendo  15:16, 2 October 2019 (UTC)

Search suggestions
I went ahead and removed the instances where Wikipedia was used as the reference, since those can't be used. Other sources that are connected in some way to the subject of the article shouldn't be used to make claims which involve other things outside of the subject. For example, a claim regarding the subject sailing in the year 2014 would be alright, but a claim about the subject's opponents in a race should be referenced by a third party, since the claim involves mentioning not herself, but rather others who were in the race. I think the best bet is to look for sources which are unconnected to the subject, in order to add information to the article. To help in that search for other sources, I've placed some search suggestions at the top of this post. Just click on the different search engines listed there, and that will effect a search of the subject on those sites. Regards, Spintendo  20:41, 9 October 2019 (UTC)

Reply 15-OCT-2019
Dear Spintendo, thank you so much for your guidance! I've included non-Wikipedia links now. I don't think we refer to, for example, the subject's opponents, however some of the races have their own websites so I've preferred to include these wherever possible. Here goes with the corrected references, and I hope you can let me know how this works? Thanks a lot again!

Corrected citations in edit request without Wikipedia references
In the introduction, I suggest adding that she is a Swiss 'philanthropist' as she is co-chair of the Bertarelli Foundation, a founding patron of Womanity, and founder of Spindrift Foundation , (sorry page not available in English). Her title on the Bertarelli Foundation is 'Co-chair' not 'Co-President'. She won the Bol d'Or regatta twice with Ladycat: in 2010 and in 2014, while her sailing team won again with Ladycat in 2016 and in 2019

In the winter of 2015 to 2016, during her sailing team Spindrift racing's attempt to break the record for the Jules Verne Trophy which she co-skippered with Yann Guichard, she became the fastest woman to sail around the world In the profile box, it is worth adding that she is Swiss and that her spouse is Yann Guichard In the section on Childhood and education please note that her mother is Maria Iris Bertarelli and that the more recent statistic from Forbes is of her individual wealth is 394th worldwide

In the section on Philanthropy in the first paragraph, please note that the Bertarelli Foundation's focus since 2008 is on marine conservation and science, neuroscience and projects in local communities.. Projects supported by the Bertarelli Foundation in marine conservation have included the creation, in partnership with the Pew Charitable Trusts, of the 720,000 km2 Rapa Nui Marine Protected Area around Easter Island, decreed in 2018

In the second paragraph first sentence, these campaigns are now over, and the past tense would be better used. Dona Bertarellis is a founding patron (I think this is the more commonly English word rather than 'godmother') of the Womanity Foundation (not charity)

Since this page was last updated, Dona Bertarelli and her husband Yann Guichard have created the Spindrift for Schools programme in 2015 to coincide with their attempt on the Jules Verne Trophy. Spindrift for Schools provides a series of lessons for children to learn about the ocean and sporting values. The programme continues to focus on Spindrift racing as well as developing new material inspired by the global drive for greater representation of sporting values and ethics within schools (sorry, this coverage about the open day is only in French as the programme is for French and Swiss-French schools).

In the Sailing section, I think some context is missing about the creation of the Spindrift racing, as it's a professional sailing team created in 2011, based in Brittany, France

The list of sailing achievements in the third paragraph is incomplete. Bertarelli was twice awarded the SUI Female Sailor of the Year (2014 and 2016) (second link only in French, sorry)

She won the Bol d’Or Mirabaud on Lake Geneva in 2010 on her D35 catamaran Ladycat powered by Spindrift racing and in 2014, while her sailing team won again with Ladycat in 2016

She won the Fastnet Race twice, onboard Spindrift 2 (2013 and 2015). In 2014, she won the Bol d’Or Mirabaud a second time

In 2016, she won the Transat Quebec St Malo, setting a new course record with Spindrift 2. Dona Bertarelli is the fastest woman to have sailed around the world, having completed a Jules Verne Trophy attempt in the winter of 2015-2016 with Spindrift 2

Also, since the page was updated, Dona Bertarelli has had two books published, so please could you consider adding a new section for Bibliography.

Dona Bertarelli and Yann Guichard (2016) L’Aventure Spindrift: Five years of a sailing odyssey. Editions Favre ISBN 978-2-8289-1586-5 Dona Bertarelli (2016) J’ai Osé. Editions Favre. ISBN 978-2-8289-1592-6 MiaNorcaro (talk) 12:04, 15 October 2019 (UTC)

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