Talk:Donny van de Beek/GA2

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 00:23, 4 July 2018 (UTC)

I am planning to review this article in the next week. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 00:23, 4 July 2018 (UTC)

My preliminary comments are to address some of the points that Courcelles brought up in the last review.
 * There is still no "Early life" or "Personal life" section.✅ RRD (talk) 05:56, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * There is still nothing on his U19 appearances.
 * From the Soccerway profile, it is evident, that the matches were in European under-19 championship qualifiers. RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

I'll add some more comments soon. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 19:33, 6 July 2018 (UTC)

More comments:


 * Lead
 * Remove "currently" from first sentence. (see WP:RELTIME) ✅ RRD (talk) 05:20, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Change "side" to "club" in the first sentence. ✅ RRD (talk) 05:20, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * The image in the infobox is no longer available on Flickr. You do not need an image, though. ✅ RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * This should be two sentences: In the 2016–17 season, he was included in the Europa League Team of the Week in November. and He also progressed to the final that year but lost to Manchester United.✅ RRD (talk) 05:20, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Van de Beek has often been scouted by top European foreign clubs like such as Bayern Munich and FC Barcelona. ("often" doesn't add anything)✅ RRD (talk) 05:20, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Link Bayern Munich and FCB above✅ RRD (talk) 05:20, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * There should be a sentence in the club paragraph about playing full-time and scoring a decent number of goals in the 2017–18 season.✅ RRD (talk) 11:53, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * In the international arena competition (sounds more encyclopedic) ✅ RRD (talk) 05:20, 11 July 2018 (UTC)


 * Early life and background
 * As Courcelles pointed out, there should be an early life or personal life section.✅ RRD (talk) 05:56, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

✅ RRD (talk) 05:56, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Club Career
 * General comment: Divide the paragraphs by season instead of year. This is common practice for football articles.
 * The first paragraph should end after: At the end of the 2014–15 season, he won the AFC Ajax Talent of the Future award.
 * The second paragraph should end after: Spanish newspaper Mundo Deportivo reported that Barcelona was considering options to secure his services.
 * The third paragraph should end after: He went on to replace Schöne in the 70th minute of the Europa League final against Manchester United, with Ajax losing the match 2–0.[26]
 * General comment: Mention that Ajax finished each season in second place at the end of the 2016–17 and 2017–18 season paragraphs.
 * Mentioned in honours. RRD (talk) 11:53, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

✅ RRD (talk) 05:56, 11 July 2018 (UTC) ✅ RRD (talk) 05:56, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * On 27 January 2015, he signed a contract extension, which will to keep him at the club until mid-2018 (future tense no longer applies, since it is mid-2018 now)
 * debut for the Jong Ajax
 * On 26 November, he made his European debut (already said it was November) ✅ RRD (talk) 05:56, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Switch the order of these two sentences: Commenting on the goal, he said that he would not soon forget it.[14] In the same match, his head collided with opposition player Joona Toivio's causing his left eyebrow to bleed.[15]✅ RRD (talk) 10:41, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Also, replace In the same match with As he scored the header. Right now, it's not clear that the head injury happened while he scored the goal.✅ RRD (talk) 10:41, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * He went on to win the club's Goal of the Month Award for the goal. That goal also won him the club's Goal of the Month Award. (change emphasis)
 * Champions League debut against PAOK starting in the 1–1 draw
 * I do not understand what you mean. RRD (talk) 10:41, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

✅ RRD (talk) 10:41, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * In April 2017, the Daily Express reported that Barcelona and Bayern Munich were scouting Van de Beek.[27] (move this to the previous paragraph before the description of the Europa League final)✅ RRD (talk) 10:41, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * The 2017–2018 preseason matches should be labelled "2017–18" (cut the second 20)
 * You are missing the end of the 2017–18 season. That is important, considering it is his only full season thus far.


 * Style of Play
 * Specify what the number six position means. (See MOS:JARGON) ✅ RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)


 * International Career
 * As Courcelles pointed out, U19 appearances should be documented in the prose. Did he play in any big tournaments? Did any of his four goals come in big matches?
 * It is clear that the non-Dutch teams (Germany, Scotland, England) are all under-17. No need to re-write that.✅ RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Change the last sentence to: "they finished runner-up to England" to avoid re-using the word "final"✅ RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Note that debut against Romania was a friendly.✅ RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)


 * Career Statistics
 * The citations should be next to the club names, not the season years, if they are just general links.
 * The MOS states that each row must be individually cited. RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)


 * Honours
 * For Eredivisie runner-ups, just one citation at the end of the line is better.
 * Information in BLP must be individually sourced. RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)


 * Other
 * The article is well-cited.
 * All the links work! Hooray!
 * No plagiarism detected.


 * Overall
 * I think the article is not too far from being a GA. Most of the comments are minor.
 * The most important comments are to add an "Early or Personal Life" section, and to fill in the last club season (2017–18).
 * Also note: The most recent season should be more detailed than previous ones since he played more that year.

That's all I have for now. I'm placing the review on hold to give you time to address these issues. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 20:24, 6 July 2018 (UTC)


 * All the issues raised have been adressed. RRD (talk) 11:53, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

Okay, it looks better now. A few more things I've spotted:


 * Lead
 * he made his competitive debut for the club in an a UEFA Europa League match (it should be 'a', not 'an')
 * In 2017 During the 2017-18 season, Van de Beek established himself as a fixture in Ajax's starting eleven. He scored his first hat-trick for the club and finished the season further went on to score 10 more with 13 goals during the season . (Add that he became a starter this season. Just cite the total goal tally, since the hat trick wasn't his first set of goals during the season.)
 * Put the sentence on scouting as the last sentence in the paragraph (since it is not so time-sensitive)


 * Personal life
 * In the very first part, there's a capitalization typo for Van de Beek
 * took Donny to its their stadium
 * Rody plays for who plays for Veensche Boys (typo)
 * There is an extra space before the very last citation.


 * Club career
 * Given the length of the section, I would suggest adding a few sub-section headers. Maybe just two of them: "Early career" at the beginning, and "2016–present: Ajax first team mainstay" for the last part.
 * and was also playing played regularly for the Ajax under-19 team in the UEFA Youth League. (mainly a tense issue)
 * Champions League debut against PAOK, starting in the 1–1 draw. (Add a comma. Sorry about the confusion before.)
 * Van de Beek replaced He went on to replace Schöne in the 70th minute of the Europa League final against Manchester United, with Ajax losing the match 2–0.
 * He scored a goal in both the legs...
 * scored a hat-trick in a an 8–0 league victory ('an', not 'a')
 * besides giving adding six assists (I don't think "giving" sounds right here.)

Once these last few things are addressed, I'll pass it. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 01:09, 15 July 2018 (UTC)
 * I have made the changes. RRD (talk) 07:17, 15 July 2018 (UTC)

Passed! Sportsfan77777 (talk) 15:58, 15 July 2018 (UTC)