Talk:Doom (2016 video game)/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Cognissonance (talk · contribs) 02:44, 20 October 2016 (UTC)

I'll get to this review within the day. Cognissonance (talk) 02:44, 20 October 2016 (UTC)

Lead

 * "Originally announced as under development as Doom 4" can be improved with "Originally announced as Doom 4", since the word "development" already follows the sentence and doesn't need to be repeated.
 * "revealed as just Doom" can be more formal if you replace "just" with "simply".
 * "Mick Gordon composed the music for the game" can be continued with "with additional assistance from Richard Devine". Also, link to Richard Devine.

Single-player

 * Metro.co.uk (source 2) is dubious. Use PC Gamer instead.
 * "The approach is known as "push-forward combat", which discourages players, playing from the "Doom Slayer"'s perspective, from taking cover behind obstacles or resting to regain health. Players instead collect health and armour pick-ups scattered throughout levels or kill enemies to regain health. "Glory Kills" is a newly introduced melee execution system wherein, when enough damage has been dealt to an enemy, the game will highlight it and allow the player to perform a quick and violent melee takedown." — I moved source 4 because it didn't confirm this part. The "push-forward combat", "health and armour pick-ups" and "Glory Kills" need to be confirmed with a citation or citations.
 * Source 10 says it is from Vox Media, but it links to Polygon. Add the parameter website=Polygon.

Multiplayer

 * King of the Hill — Link to King of the Hill (game)
 * last man standing — Link to Last man standing (gaming)
 * "players can level up, in which new armor" — Fix grammar: "players can level up, by which new armor".
 * "There are six types of module in title." — Fix grammar and flow: "There are six types of modules:".

Plot

 * "whose mind now lives in an android body" may be simplified with "whose mind now inhabits an android body".

As Doom 4

 * "The game was officially announced as in production back on May 7, 2008" should be simplified with "The game was officially announced to be in production back in May 2008".
 * "hinted it at QuakeCon" — Replace "hinted it" with "had indicated so".
 * I'm not so sure about the reliability of Tom's Hardware (source 21). Can it be replaced?
 * "On July 31, 2008, John Carmack claimed that Doom 4 would look three times better than Rage does, intended to run at 30 frames per second" — Improve prose and simplify: "In 2008, John Carmack claimed that Doom 4 would look three times better than Rage even though it was intended to run at 30 frames per second".
 * ". — So, [in single-player] we can have 30 demons crawling all over you on there." — Not necessary when it is already established in the previous sentence.
 * "On August 16, 2010, id Software Creative Director Tim Willits announced" — Just lose the "On August 16, 2010,". There are too many dates in this section.
 * "and that, with partnership with ZeniMax, id Software was able to have" — Simplify: "and that the partnership with ZeniMax allowed id Software to have".
 * "In February 2012, some alleged screenshots were released on Official Xbox Magazine UK's website, but the images were discredited by id Software's creative director Matthew Hooper" should be removed along with sources 31 and 32. Twitter is only credible if it comes from a verified account.
 * "Citing connections to id, the article claims that Doom 4 has suffered" — Past tense consistency: "Citing connections to id, the article claimed that Doom 4 had suffered".
 * Kotaku (source 36) cites the wrong date. Replace date=May 3, 2013 with date=April 3, 2013.

As Doom

 * "On June 10, 2014, a teaser trailer of Doom was presented at Electronic Entertainment Expo 2014" should alter the date redundancy by removing "On June 10, 2014,".
 * "On July 18, in light of Crytek's financial difficulties" — Remove the date.
 * "On May 18, 2015, Bethesda released a brief teaser trailer to promote gameplay being shown at E3 2015 on June 14, 2015" — Too many dates. Remove the first one.
 * "Marty Stratton thought that it is" — Past tense consistency: "Marty Stratton thought that it was".
 * "to create a game that can compete" — Past tense consistency: "to create a game that could compete".
 * "Another challenge that they encountered is to build a game that is unique enough" — Past tense consistency: "Another challenge that they encountered was to build a game that would be unique enough".
 * "and that it can effectively improve gameplay fluidity" — Improve prose and past tense consistency: "which could effectively improve gameplay fluidity".
 * "fans would not like to see story be in the way of the gameplay" — Improve prose: "fans would not like to see story be obstructive to the gameplay".
 * "that players can optionally find codex entries for clues so that they can fill in gaps" — Improve prose: "that players could optionally find codex entries for clues in order to fill the gaps".

Release and marketing

 * Bethblog.com (source 61) doesn't work anymore. Replace with PlayStation Blog.
 * "Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One" — Link to Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One.
 * "for a limited time, those owners who pre-purchased" — Simplify: "for a limited time, they".
 * "working on virtual reality support for the just-released Doom" — Improve prose: "working on virtual reality support for the newly released Doom".

SnapMap

 * Shouldn't this be a subsection under Gameplay?

Pre-release

 * "was overwhelmingly acclaiming among fans" can be made more formal with "accumulated considerable acclaim among fans".

Post-release

 * "Mike Henriquez of Game Revolution was favorable toward" — Minimize repetition of "favorable": "Mike Henriquez of Game Revolution favored".
 * "but, however, then considered" — Simplify: "but then considered".

Sales

 * "On May 31, 2016, Doom's sales have reached 500,000 copies sold for PCs" — Past tense consistency and simplicity: "By May 2016, Doom's sales on the PC reached 500,000 copies".
 * "The game has surpassed 1 million sold copies for PCs in August 2016" — Past tense consistency: "The game had surpassed 1 million sold copies for PCs in August 2016".

Overall

 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall: The article does not cite reliable sources in some places, lacks sources altogether in another, and needs to be improved in regards to prose and grammar. It will be on hold until all the concerns are met and it can pass.
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Cognissonance (talk) 15:44, 20 October 2016 (UTC)
 * I am striking out suggestions that have been completed. Gamingforfun 3 6 5 ( talk ) 00:29, 21 October 2016 (UTC)
 * You may want to take a look at the article once more; I have addressed all of the issues that you have pointed out and am now waiting. Gamingforfun 3 6 5 ( talk ) 00:14, 22 October 2016 (UTC)
 * 1) Overall: The article does not cite reliable sources in some places, lacks sources altogether in another, and needs to be improved in regards to prose and grammar. It will be on hold until all the concerns are met and it can pass.
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Cognissonance (talk) 15:44, 20 October 2016 (UTC)
 * I am striking out suggestions that have been completed. Gamingforfun 3 6 5 ( talk ) 00:29, 21 October 2016 (UTC)
 * You may want to take a look at the article once more; I have addressed all of the issues that you have pointed out and am now waiting. Gamingforfun 3 6 5 ( talk ) 00:14, 22 October 2016 (UTC)
 * You may want to take a look at the article once more; I have addressed all of the issues that you have pointed out and am now waiting. Gamingforfun 3 6 5 ( talk ) 00:14, 22 October 2016 (UTC)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * Pass/Fail:
 * It's a behemoth of an article you've done. Good work! Cognissonance (talk) 00:44, 22 October 2016 (UTC)
 * Thanks. Gamingforfun 3 6 5 ( talk ) 01:32, 22 October 2016 (UTC)
 * Thanks. Gamingforfun 3 6 5 ( talk ) 01:32, 22 October 2016 (UTC)