Talk:Doug Bentley/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Strafpeloton2 (talk · contribs) 03:03, 14 October 2011 (UTC)

I have started the review with an incomplete readthrough. The article passes the quick fail criteria: 1) all references are reliable, 2) there is NPOV, 3) no cleanup banners or tags, 4) no edit wars, 5) not a current event that will change quickly. I also spotchecked 2, 6, 8, 10, 11, 12, 17, 20, 22, 24, 28, 29, 30, 32 and 36 and there appear to be no copyright violations. All references seemed accurate.

I had a few comments/questions on the first time through:
 * "the 1st National Hockey League All-Star Game" – "first" should be written out
 * What type of injuries did he have in Saskatoon?
 * "Their son, Doug Jr., was also a hockey player.[38] Much of his time away" – In the second sentence "his" could refer to the son
 * "Bentley battled cancer in his later life" – What kind of cancer did he have? What type of operations were needed?

I will go through and read in more detail this weekend. Strafpeloton2 (talk) 03:03, 14 October 2011 (UTC)
 * Appreciate the review! I've addressed the first three.  On the fourth, I have been unable to find any source that describes his illness or operations in detail, only that he had cancer and had two operations for it. Regards, Resolute 01:14, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
 * Looks good. I wasn't sure that one was possible. Strafpeloton2 (talk) 16:04, 15 October 2011 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * In general, the prose is very good. Since it’s up for GAN, I’ll get a little nitpicky, see below.
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * The article is well-referenced. There is one quote where a citation is needed and two more that end paragraphs without refs (see below). The citations are good and there is no OR.
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * The one image is not free-use, but it includes a rationale. I think it is appropriate in this case. Walter Payton and Sid Luckman are good articles with similar non-free images. There are no image captions, but one is not needed for the infobox image (the only image).
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * The one image is not free-use, but it includes a rationale. I think it is appropriate in this case. Walter Payton and Sid Luckman are good articles with similar non-free images. There are no image captions, but one is not needed for the infobox image (the only image).
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

I think the article is pretty much meets all the GA criteria. There are a few minor things that would improve it:
 * Lead
 * "four post-season" – post-season is redundant
 * "in his career, was" – no comma and add an "and"


 * Chicago Black Hawks
 * I thought "Black Hawks" should be "Blackhawks", but when I looked into it, you used the correct historical version.
 * Could you describe or link "protected list"?
 * "among the worst amateurs to come to my camp" - this needs a reference
 * "farm for the duration" – does duration mean duration of the season?


 * Saskatoon
 * "Saskatoon's player-coach until 1955.” – add reference here; just reuse the one you use next


 * Coaching
 * "the WHL's Los Angeles Blades for the 1961–62 season." – add reference here; again just reuse the next one
 * "Saskatchewan home in 1964 where" – where shouldn’t follow a date
 * "Chicago's Herald American newspaper named him the city's top hockey player of the half-century in 1950,[3] and Bentley was inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame in 1964.[11]" – This sentence seems a little out of place here. Personally, I’d put the first part in the Chicago section and add the second part at the end of the Saskatoon section.

There were a few cases where a comma should be removed or a subject inserted in the second half because it’s currently not a compound sentence:
 * "playing brothers, and at one point played with"
 * "boys, and one"
 * "scoring leader,[8] and finished second"
 * "deal, but felt he could give Chicago"
 * "until 1961,[29] when he"
 * "through the year, and even played"

I will put this on hold for now. It's only a whisker away for me with the unreferenced quote being the most important. Strafpeloton2 (talk) 16:04, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
 * All should now be addressed, thanks! Resolute 22:36, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
 * I agree. I will promote it to GA. Nice work on the article. Strafpeloton2 (talk) 17:58, 16 October 2011 (UTC)