Talk:Drama Queen (Ivy Queen album)/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Hahc21 (talk · contribs) 19:03, 31 December 2012 (UTC)


 * Hello stranger :) — ΛΧΣ  21  19:03, 31 December 2012 (UTC)
 * Why, Hello there :P — DivaKnockouts (talk) 19:10, 31 December 2012 (UTC)

Prose comments

 * Lead
 * "The tracks were written by Queen, with help from Rafael Castillo and Marcos Masis. It was produced by Luny Tunes and Noriega among others." Why not merging those two? And I consider that "the album was" is better than "the tracks were".


 * "recorded while Queen was heartbroken features" A comma is needed before "features"


 * "and Wisin & Yandel and Franco "El Gorila" The first "and" should be replaced with a comma


 * "Moving 3,000 units in its first week," Hmm maybe "selling" is better


 * "versions, A deluxe edition" A period instead of a comma goes here


 * Background
 * "which spawned the Top 10 hit "Que Lloren", later certified Platinum" Which was certified Platinum? the song or the album? tweak the sentence a bit to make this clear
 * Is this better? :)


 * "a substantial live album was distributed..." Which live album is this? It has a name?


 * "as the label celebrated" replace "the label" with "it"


 * "360 deal" link it: 360 deal.


 * "President of Universal Music Latino and Machete" The president


 * "When asked about the drama between the release of Sentimiento and Drama Queen, by Latina Magazine, Queen said" Hmm I guess its better if you say: "When asked by Latina Magazine about the drama between..."


 * Recording and production
 * "of the most well-known urban names" "names" is not working for me. Sounds too promotional. Also, I have to check if the source says "of the most well-known". If that's so, I believe that changing it with "urban artists" or something similar.


 * "She teamed up with Wisin & Yandel on "Acércate", former Aventura band member Lenny Santos, who plays guitar on "Cosas De La Vida" while Frank Reys provides vocals, Franco "El Gorila" on "Jungle", De La Ghetto on "De La Calle" and Jadiel on "Amor A Primera Vista"." Each time you stop talking about a song, and start talking about other, put a ";" instead of a comma. Also, I think you need to reword this a little better.


 * "was decision she took" it was a decision...


 * Release and promotion
 * "as New York, New York and Los Angeles, California." Too specific: you can say "New York and Los Angeles" (without wikinlinks per WP:COMMONNAME) Check the rest of the article for this occurences and remove wikilinks where necessary.


 * " and the words "Drama" on the right side of her body, and "Queen" on the left side of her body." Hmmmm "With the words "Drama" and "Queen" on the right and left sides of her body, respectively" sounds better?


 * "Under that were the words "Coming Soon" in bold letters." --> "Underneath, the words "Coming Soon", in bold letters, could be read."


 * "She was inspired action figures" Inspired by action figures


 * "The lead single "La Vida es Así" was released on May 11 and the music video was..." --> "The lead single "La Vida es Así" was released on May 11; the music video was shot..."


 * "Queen said that bachata is more meaningful and the bachata version revealed more feelings" the bachata version of the song? Try to reword it a bit, it reads a little weird now.


 * "The a cappella of "La Vida es Así"" A capella version?


 * I see that you use both "Miami" and "Miami, Florida". Pick one and keep consistent :)


 * Hmmm the information about the Monastery is a bit irrelevant to the article. Try to chop it a bit, or all xD


 * "The song "Acércate" was pirated before the album was released, for the first time in her 15-year career." the last part, when read, makes no grammatical sense with the first one. Try to tweak the sentence.


 * Commercial performance
 * "nine consecutive weeks according to Billboard." Put a citation here.


 * I see that your are talking about awards too, so it'll be good if you rename it to Reception.


 * Also, chop a bit the performance of the songs, or even better: Take this paragraph and the second paragraph of "Release and promotion" and make them a new section named Singles


 * Composition
 * "described as R&B meets reggaeton" Hmmm put R&B meets reggaeton inside a quote


 * "and was the first time" --> "as it was the first time"


 * "The textures on the album" Musical textures will fit better and thus, we avoid architecture creeps being mad at you ;)


 * When quoting lyrics, remember to be explicit and add: "In the song, Queen sings:"


 * "The lyrics tell us that" --> "The lyrics are about"


 * "The urban version attacks" attacks? This is the kind of word that needs to be in a quote ;)


 * "It has Caribbean roots and Afro-Latin influences." I suppose this is covered by a source


 * "The song features minor key tonality and techno synths.[58] The song has been described" Try to merge these two sentences to avoid repetitive use of "the song"


 * "angry lyrics" angry needs to be in quotes


 * Always try to give credit: If someone says that the song is addictive, instead of saying "the song has been described as addictive", say that "Daniel Sack from X Magazine described the song as addictive." Do this everytime you can.


 * Critical reception
 * "positive reviews, Many noted her two sides, fierce and tender." A period needed after "Many". And also, who is "many"? The Many from System Shock 2? If a reviewer said this, then put the name of the reviewer :)


 * "the album a 3.5 of 5" he gave it a what? a score? :)


 * "claimed the album features a set that's filled with a longing more honest than most of what's heard on commercial Latin radio." claimed that the album... And "filled with a longing.." what is a longing? And album can be filled with a longing? xD
 * I don't know what she means by that. Lol.


 * "The iTunes Notes for the album say, "True to its title, her seventh album is rich in melodrama, boasting grand synthesizer runs and heart-wrenching themes of love and betrayal. That's her strength. She's her own yin and yang-strong yet soft, swaggering yet tender."" And the ref to the iTunes Notes?


 * References
 * Seems to be fine.


 * Final result

Passed. Good job. — ΛΧΣ  21  02:17, 3 January 2013 (UTC)