Talk:Dylan Penn/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Cloudz679 (talk · contribs) 20:09, 27 April 2015 (UTC)


 * Lead
 * The lead does not appear to "stand alone as a concise overview" per WP:LEAD. There is virtually no information there beyond name, age, nationality and parents.


 * Early life
 * The prose has insufficient context and grammatical errors.
 * Wright not introduced
 * had won used inappropriately
 * State name not used for Marin County
 * New York City piped to New York, which is visually more ambiguous
 * The prose is very stop-start, e.g. She has a younger brother named Hopper Jack.[6] She attended Marin Academy.[7] Her parents' divorce was finalized in 2010.[8] - reading more like a list than an encyclopaedic article.


 * Public life
 * The public life section doesn't appear to run chronologically, which has the effect of somewhat misleading the reader.
 * $6,000-plus Fendi bag appears to be original research
 * Unnecessary use of idiom, e.g. testing the waters
 * some apparently made-up words, e.g. pantsless
 * a video (referred to as a short film by some) - only referred to as a short film, by the provided references
 * the period dealt with spans approximately mid-2013 to September 2014. This is an indication it may not meet criterion 3a.


 * References
 * dead link reported
 * Daily Mail may not be a reliable source
 * date formatting of references is inconsistent, with three different systems in use


 * Summary
 * There are major obstacles to this article meeting the criteria at this time, so the appropriate action is that the article is not listed. C679 21:06, 27 April 2015 (UTC)