Talk:EarthBound/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 20:12, 7 July 2014 (UTC)

I remember this game, it was interesting. I'll leave down the some initial comments tomorrow morning.

Note: There are numerous "cite error"s in the references (I count seven), it would be more efficient if these were fixed before or during the review. Thanks! ☠ Jag  uar  ☠ 20:12, 7 July 2014 (UTC)
 * Oops—must have done that right before the nom. All fixed now. Thanks for the heads up czar ♔   21:06, 7 July 2014 (UTC)
 * Thanks for addressing them, doing the review now. ☠ Jag  uar  ☠ 20:05, 8 July 2014 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources:
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Pass or Fail:

Lead

 * "As Ness and his party of four, the player travels the world to collect melodies en route to defeating the evil alien force Giygas." - just a query here, most video game leads often start of with "the player assumes the role of [protagonist]...", would if be worth putting this in here? Such as the player controls Ness and his party of four or do you think it should be left like this? Just a suggestion?
 * "The game's expensive "this game stinks" marketing campaign was based on crude humor." - do you think it would be best to better describe this campaign by saying that it included 'scratch and sniff' advertisements in the lead?
 * The lead summarises the whole article well, complying per WP:LEAD

Development

 * "Its sequel, Mother 2, or EarthBound, was developed over five years[12] by Ape (later Creatures[13]) and HAL, and published through Nintendo." - how about something like Its sequel, Mother 2 (EarthBound outside of Japan) was developed over five years by developers Ape (later Creatures), HAL and published through Nintendo.
 * "The game was originally scheduled for release in January 1993 on a 12 megabit cartridge. It was finished around May 1994 and the Japanese release was set for August 27, 1994" - was there a reason why it got pushed back a year and a half? (delays etc)
 * "He worked alone, with great latitude, and in direct contact with the headquarters" - the Japanese or American headquarters?

On hold
This article is beautifully written, I've read through it all and could not find any copy editing issues with the latter half of the article despite this review feeling short. It is well referenced and the prose is in good standing, showing signs of the GA criteria. Once those minor issues have been addressed this article will have a good chance at passing the GAN. I've also corrected a few minor problems myself, if it helps. Thank you ☠ Jag  uar  ☠ 21:00, 8 July 2014 (UTC)
 * , thanks for the review and the compliment—I appreciate it! I made a few changes from your suggestions and I think it should be good now. Some responses: I prefer the current phrasing of the lede sentences you mentioned. I'm aware of the precedents, but I'm personally not a big fan, especially when I find a better or more suitable way to phrase it. I'd keep scratch and sniff out so the lede can stay lean. No extra details on why it was delayed but it's usually due to bad estimates. If the delay was notable enough, someone would have published about it. I believe, though, that the citations were fine where they were. End-of-sentence cites often makes verifiability harder if the sentence is a mix of multiple sources. czar ♔   21:21, 8 July 2014 (UTC)

Close - promoted
The article now meets the GA criteria, thank you for the extra work! The lead summarises the article, the prose is of good quality and all the citations, like you said, are better off like they are. I agree with you on the current phrasing of the lead, it's better off the way it is and I wasn't sure myself if you liked my suggestions on the lead. EarthBound is also in depth and well focused, to be honest this article already looks like FA material as its cult status already has a lot of content. Just saying! Regards ☠ Jag  uar  ☠ 12:14, 9 July 2014 (UTC)