Talk:East Bengal Ultras/GA4

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Epicgenius (talk · contribs) 18:43, 24 January 2021 (UTC)

Lead:

 * the vocal supporters' group of an Indian football club, SC East Bengal, which competes in the ISL—the top tier football league in India.
 * Unless it is a group of something called "vocal supporters", I would suggest describing the enthusiasm of supporters in a later sentence.
 * here vocal refers to Football chant.  Saha ❯❯❯  Stay safe    13:07, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I see. Epicgenius (talk) 16:13, 9 February 2021 (UTC)
 * I would suggest "of Indian football club SC East Bengal". This group is a supporter for this particular football club.

Supported club:

 * I'm not sure what the best heading title for this section would be. Maybe just "SC East Bengal"?
 * ✅  Saha ❯❯❯  Stay safe    13:14, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "Association football" should be lowercase.
 * ✅  Saha ❯❯❯  Stay safe  </b> </b> 13:14, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * In 1930, Mahatma Gandhi's Satyagraha swept over India and affected football - What is Satyagraha? It would be interesting to see how this caused the boycott of the CFL. Also, would it be better to say "Indian football was affected in 1930 by Mahatma Gandhi's Satyagraha"?
 * satyagraha = non-violence movement. so, football was a good medium for that. Indian football clubs vs English. Also it would be misleading to say Indian football, as back then football was 99% concentrated to Kolkata only. And even today its like that. <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 18:50, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * In the midst of the disruption, Royal Regiment was declared First Division winners - There's a singular-plural disagreement here. This should either be "was declared First Division winner" or "were declared First Division winners".
 * ✅ <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 13:14, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * A hand holding a flaming torch became the supporters' club's emblem and remains so in 2020 - The last part of the sentence is awkwardly phrased. There are two main ideas to this sentence: "A hand holding a flaming torch became the supporters' club's emblem" and "As of 2020, this icon is still the emblem of the supporters' club." Maybe it can be split that way.
 * ✅ <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 13:14, 28 January 2021 (UTC)

Initial years: 2013–2016"

 * denoting the fans were the club's "twelfth man". - I think you can say "denoting that" in this instance. Or saying "...indicating the fans were..."
 * ✅ <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 13:15, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * the East Bengal Ultras displayed a 3D tifo, first ever in South Asia’s, - "South Asia" shouldn't be possessive, i.e. "first ever in South Asia".
 * ✅ <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 13:15, 28 January 2021 (UTC)

Growth of ultras culture: 2017–present:

 * prompted a lot of discussion on fan forums - "a lot of discussion" is quite informal, I would just say "much discussion".
 * ✅ <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 13:23, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * The group started with around 10 people - Should this be in the previous section?
 * Trying to say that at present its thousands, but initially just 10. <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 13:23, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * To celebrate the club's centenary year in 2019, the Ultras organised an event called Tunes of Colony, which was held on 31 July[9] at the Sovabazar Natmandir temple; it was the first-ever chant-based musical show in Indian and South Asian Football.
 * ✅ <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 13:23, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * The word "year" in "centenary year" is redundant, I would just say "centenary".
 * ✅ <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 13:23, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Should this sentence be split? The first part of the sentence, before the semicolon, is quite long already.
 * ✅ <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 18:41, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * The word "football" in "South Asian football" should be lowercase.
 * ✅ <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 13:23, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * The event was a hit with East Bengal fans. - How so?
 * As it was first live chant show. <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 18:31, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I see. Epicgenius (talk) 16:13, 9 February 2021 (UTC)
 * ("Do you understand sir? Do I need to say more?") - Which language is this, by the way?
 * Bangla <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 13:23, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I would recommend using multiple image to combine the tifo images.
 * The images are arranged according to the texts. <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 18:38, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * On 4 December 2019, at a game against Real Kashmir that was the first game of their 2019–20 I-League campaign at the Kalyani Stadium, the East Bengal Ultras presented a 10,000 sq ft (930 m2) tifo—the largest in Indian football so far—in the form of a book showing five major achievements in the history of East Bengal; this tifo was featured in a December 2019 article in the United States-based media outlet The18
 * This should definitely be split into at least two sentences. The first part of the sentence is quite long-winded, and the entire sentence is one paragraph.
 * Furthermore, it can probably be reworded. In the first part of the sentence, I would relocate "a game against Real Kashmir" so that it comes before the comma. E.g. "At a game against Real Kashmir on 4 December 2019, the first game of their 2019–20 I-League campaign at the Kalyani Stadium, the East Bengal Ultras presented a 10,000 sq ft (930 m2) tifo, the largest in Indian football so far, showing five major achievements in the history of East Bengal."
 * ✅ <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 18:38, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * this tifo was featured in a December 2019 article in the United States-based media outlet The18 - By the way, is this outlet notable?
 * we can say yes if we look at their FB page. also, getting featured by an foreign media is something ultra-rare w.r.t. indian football... <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 13:23, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * About your second point, I didn't realize that. It's OK for now, but I think in the future it may be reassessed if this outlet does not have an article in a few years. Epicgenius (talk) 16:13, 9 February 2021 (UTC)
 * , ok <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 10:57, 10 February 2021 (UTC)

NRC controversy
It has been a few weeks since I've looked at the nomination, sorry about that. I'm going to finish this quickly. Epicgenius (talk) 16:13, 9 February 2021 (UTC)
 * The incident led to controversy among groups both for and against the NRC. - I get what you mean, but:
 * Should it be "controversy between"? Or did each group have their own controversies? (In the second case, the current wording would be correct.)
 * ✅. It involved people/group supporting NRC and against NRC. (More details on what happened all over the country- CAA protests) <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 11:07, 10 February 2021 (UTC)
 * I wonder if there are any specific examples.
 * There's no such specific examples. It mainly happened in social media, thats why the EBU released a statement on this. <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 11:07, 10 February 2021 (UTC)

Chants and slogans

 * As of 2020, there are around 25 chants and slogans. - Usually you'd count in dozens (e.g. "around two dozen") or tens (e.g. "more than twenty"). I'm wondering if the exact number is known.
 * ✅ <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 19:48, 9 February 2021 (UTC)
 * "Dale Cavese" is one of the most famous tunes that became popular with the East Bengal Ultras. - Is this either one of the most famous tunes among the general public, or among other ultras groups? Or is "famous" being used as a point of comparison to something else?
 * This is tune is famous among the fan groups all over the world (source), including East Bengal fans. Just like it became popular all over the world, when it was introduced here, it became popular too. <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 17:55, 10 February 2021 (UTC)

Images and copyright

 * The majority of images are freely licensed, while the infobox image has a non-free use rationale.
 * Copyright violation spotchecks came up clean. Epicgenius (talk) 17:18, 16 February 2021 (UTC)

Other issues raised in previous reviews
As there have been three previous nominations, I will take some time to look over the issues raised in the previous reviews, and see if they were resolved, before I put my own feedback. It seems that GA3 raised up some close paraphrasing issues. While that is not as big of a problem at this moment, there are a few sentences that still must be fixed. For instance:
 * Article: At the opening match of the 2016 CFL Premier Division at the Kalyani Stadium, the East Bengal Ultras displayed South Asia’s first ever 3D tifo, which depicted an East Bengal player holding the CFL Trophy against the backdrop of the Kolkata skyline and the text Kolkata Amader ("Kolkata is ours").
 * Source: East Bengal Ultras created history in the 2016 CFL Opener in the Kalyani Stadium with India’s 1st Ever 3D Tifo which had a East Bengal Player holding the CFL Trophy in the backdrop of the Kolkata Skyline with a written slogan as ‘Kolkata Amader’ which simply means ‘Kolkata is ours’ due to theit commanding display in the Calcutta Football League.
 * Article: These attracted coverage by foreign sports media such as Copa90, Ultras-tifo, Football Fans Asia, 11 Freunde, Exhale Sports and ultras groups of various football clubs because they created a new atmosphere in Indian football.
 * Source: The first big thing of 2017 was the Brilliant Smoke Show and another 3D Tifo against Bengaluru FC which attracted foreign Sports Medias such as Copa90, Football Fans Asia and Exhale Sports due to a never-seen atmosphere in Indian Football.

Once these issues are fixed, I'll look at this article from the beginning. Epicgenius (talk) 18:50, 24 January 2021 (UTC)
 * , ✅. i hope its now corrected. <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 19:40, 24 January 2021 (UTC)
 * , all right. I will look more into detail shortly. Epicgenius (talk) 19:48, 24 January 2021 (UTC)

General comments
nice work. It seems like both the issues I raised and the issues raised by the previous failed reviews have been resolved. I have a few additional comments:
 * In "Growth of ultras culture", The group started with around 10 people and by 2019, they had expanded to thousands, including between 100 and 150 core members. - in the phrase "and by 2019, they had expanded to thousands" you can probably replace "and" with "but", or with "though", since this is a contrast.
 * In "NRC controversy", Although the incident led to controversy between groups both for and against the NRC is a run-on sentence.

I do think this is almost ready for GA, except for these issues. Epicgenius (talk) 17:18, 16 February 2021 (UTC)
 * , ✅ <b style="border:1px solid black"> <b style="color:#FF0000">Saha</b> ❯❯❯ <b style="color:#0043AF"> Stay safe  </b> </b> 19:53, 16 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Great. I'll pass this article now. Epicgenius (talk) 20:38, 16 February 2021 (UTC)