Talk:Eddie Ryan/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: HHH Pedrigree (talk · contribs) 12:38, 23 February 2018 (UTC)

Unsourced
Some of the career section is unsourced. For example, the second paragraph in Early Life has no sources. Every match has to be sourced. Also, the superkick, the german suplex and the entrance themes are unsourced. The Prizefighter and the Full Force Wrestling titles are unsourced too. --HHH Pedrigree (talk) 12:38, 23 February 2018 (UTC)
 * - I have updated some of the sourcing, particularly for the early career and championships. Certain bits of information could be removed or sourced with cagematch if necessary.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:05, 23 February 2018 (UTC)
 * Hello! Whats the status of this review? There has been no progress in over two months.-- Dom497 ( talk ) 01:28, 2 May 2018 (UTC)
 * Both have edited recently and a personal note was sent to Pedrigree a while ago. I am thinking it is abbandonned. AIRcorn (talk) 11:25, 12 May 2018 (UTC)
 * It's definitely abandoned. Aircorn, should I try to find someone to take over the review, or did you want to do it? BlueMoonset (talk) 18:53, 17 May 2018 (UTC)
 * Probably stretching myself a bit thin as it is. Wrestlings not really my thing either. If you find someone else that would be great. If it is still around when I finish I may look into it. Either way I would prefer a response from as there is not much point reviewing this if they are not going to respond. AIRcorn (talk) 22:55, 17 May 2018 (UTC)
 * Hi - Sorry for my late reply, I am certainly up for improving the article if a second reviewer can be found. I do know that wrestling GAs can take a long time to find a reviewer, but I will do some work on the article as soon as I can, so a review would be not wasted  Lee Vilenski  (talk • contribs) 14:07, 18 May 2018 (UTC)
 * Good to know. Hopefully someone takes it up. I will check back in when I have time either way. AIRcorn (talk) 18:39, 18 May 2018 (UTC)

Comments from Aircorn
Don't know much about the topic, but here goes a review.

- I have edited this. I feel his name, and the name of the title are important for this, but I could easily remove his name from bolding.
 * His first match was in January of the following year for the main company What does main company mean?
 * Do we need all the bolding in the lead. Seems excessive.

- I'll add in some information for his gimmick
 * Spanish wrestling gimmick not mentioned in the body, although it does explain one of my other queries a little.

- Well, as Eddie is English, him being portrayed as one is what I meant. I'll edit this phrasing
 * with a more realistic English gimmick What does this mean?

- I would, but it simply isn't true. Generally with wrestlers, they have lots of matches (Vince has had nearly 300), but only certain matches are high profile, or big enough to mention (Such as championship bouts). A look at Vince's match history says he actually has a higher win percentage as a singles wrestler, than as of a tag team. .
 * Reading the article he lost a lot of matches. Feel this needs a mention to balance out the tag team wins.

This is supposed to be an exhaustive list of all names that can be sourced that the wrestler has used. I could remove the others, but generally it's supposed to be names you can source.
 * There are two ring names in the infobox that are not mentioned in the article.

- Not really. I could remove this. He's known to be a football fan, and fan of Plymouth Argyle, and that he went to Plymouth University, but other than that, nothing. He's not married, and I can't find any sources on his hobbies.
 * Personal life is very short and does not seem terribly important or even relevant. Is there some context I am missing. Speaking of personal life, is there anything more out there. Wife, kids, hobbies etc.

- See WP:PW/MOS, it's the traditional header for this information.
 * "In wrestling" is a very vague header


 * Started a discussion at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Professional wrestling as this seems a little strange. No need to respond there if you don't want as in many ways it is tangential, but just giving you a heads up. AIRcorn (talk) 11:29, 24 May 2018 (UTC)

- Both, actually. It's quite a normal thing in wrestling for a wrestler to learn "on the job", as it were. Whilst there are training schools, generally most learning is done whilst wrestling. It should be mentioned that "professional wrestling" is the name of the act, and not that the person involved is a professional; if that makes sense.
 * Rubio started his professional wrestling career by training Are you a professional if you are still training? Unless he was competing at the same time I don't think this makes sense. It is also a bit of a run on sentence

- It's a weird one, but a money in the bank match, is traditionally a ladder match, but they don't have to be. It simply means that the winner recieves a "money in the bank" prize. I could change this to simply a "five-way Money in the bank match".
 * five-way ladder match Money in the bank The blue links in this sentence are confusing (Money in the Bank has ladder match in the title). Shouldn't "called" or somethin similar be before Money in the Bank too.

- They aren't notable. I'd argue that Wade Fitzgerald (Or Lion Kid) should be notible enough, as well as Dave Mastiff (Who was on TNA for a bit, and is currently working for the WWE), Jack Dynamo is not notible, and unless Dave Sharp becomes notible through his promotion 4 Front Wrestling, then he isn't notible (I'd also mention he had a very short wrestling career).
 * Why no red link for Dave Sharp (wrestler)? The others get links. Although neither does Jack Dynamo. If they are unlikely to become notable then it is no problem.

Nordic Championship Wrestling - I have added this to the article
 * What is NCW?

- Added earlier.
 * Rubio had his final match as "The Spanish Sensation" Where does this come from? Was not mentioned previously.

- Hmm, no. He didn't have to, he changed his gimmick, (Which is kind of like the wrestler's identity). So, he went from being portrayed as Spanish, to being Portrayed as English. Along with this, he also changed his ring-name. I'll reword this.
 * He changed his name to Eddie Ryan, as to represent England in six matches in the United States, including a losing effort for the vacant Power League Wrestling Heavyweight Championship. A bit confusing. He had to change his name so he could represent England? That doesn't seem right.

- Championships are different from matches. He won his first championship in this match, in the previous sentence, he simply won a tag match, what was notible was that it was for Zero1, and that it was in Korakuen Hall (Which is a really big wrestling hall, in Japan).
 * In February 2012, Rubio returned to England from Japan, and won his first professional championship in a ten-man ladder match But didn't he win "a tag team match for Pro Wrestling Zero1" in the previous sentence?

- Sure. I'll edit.
 * Can you spell out the acronyms the first time you use them. AWW, PWP, PWA, SEPW, TNA (actually I do know this one, but point still holds) and MPW mean nothing to me. If you want you can add the acronym in brackets and then just use that for the remainder of the article. It should always be spelt out the first time though.

- Yeah, it gets a little confusing with wrestling names, so we usually use the full titles; specifically as they can change overtime.
 * Similar with names. The first time you use them give the full name. Then you can just use the surname, especially if they are not far apart. As long as you don't have two or more people with the same surname. Nevermind I see there are two Walshes.

- Yes. He did go by "Matt Lomaxx" for a while, but at this point, his ring name is simply Lomaxx.
 * Is Lomaxx his full name? He is not mentioned previously.

- The second. I'll change this to read that he lost the match.
 * This would be an opportunity that he would lose, at PWP Pride & Glory 2016 Are you saying that he didn't end up getting the opportunity or that he lost at the tournament. It reads like the first, but I get the feeling you mean the second. Also needs some grammar edits.

A tag team, Gideon and Lomaxx, I'll make this clearer.
 * due to interference from the House of Bones Is this some strange wrestling terminology or is this an actual wrestler.

- He tagged with Storm against The House of Bones. I've fixed this.
 * Ryan got revenge by winning a tag team match against the team, announcing his partner to be James Storm He won the match and then announced his partner? who was his partner in the match?

- I agree. I have edited this whole section, as 5 Star is now no longer a thing (it folded earlier this year), so it could be better worded.
 * 5 Star Wrestling (2018) has too much proseline and needs to be tightened. We don't need the announcements once the events occur. It is also a bit all over the place. His quiting his job is wedged in between wrestling events with no real flow.


 * Not sure on how in universe descriptions are handled in wrestling articles. This reads like a sports bio and I know there are issues with that. If you could point me to a relevant discussion on this issue it would put my mind at ease.

- I have added the cagematch sources for these, which as per WP:PW/RS can be used for match results.
 * Added some citation needed tags and made some minor edits while reading it. Please review them.

- Unsourced claims for music generally get removed. However it's his main theme, so it should be added. It's hard to find a traditional source for this, as they don't mention the songs being used. However, the source is from the promotions page, so it isn't so bad. I can remove if it necessary.
 * Don't like the Youtube reference. Why is that used.

- Sure, I can remove this. However, it is a report on an event, so not really tabloid reporting.
 * Also the Daily Mirror is used. We shouldn't have tabloids in a BLP. It is a second cite for a statement so unless it is important I would rather it was not used.

- I think the article in general doesn't make too many controversial claims, simply about his wrestling career.
 * Am not familiar with most of the references, but nothing controversial seems to be cited to them. Will assume good faith on ther reliability.


 * Unlikely tobe any copyvios

- I'd like to have images on the article, but they are likely to be copywrite. I'd need to either take pictures myself, or assume a fan would submit to WikiCommons.
 * No images to check.

That is probably all. Some of the prose could be tightened up some more, but most of it meets the GA standards. The exception is the last section on 5 Star Wrestling. I think that needs some work. Any questions let me know. Regards AIRcorn (talk) 08:36, 24 May 2018 (UTC)
 * Thanks - I've put some explanations above. I hope this is suitible.
 * Made some changes myself, please check them.


 * He won the Pride Prizefighters tournament for the second time in a row, this time losing a fatal-4-way to Bram. He won but he lost?
 * Yes, winning the tournament, as described above qualifies them for a championship match. I've changed the wording, to state that he won the tournament, but lost the corresponding championship match.


 * During a press conference before the tour, a kayfabe fight between Hager and Ryan occurred over Hager's disrespectful attitude against British wrestlers Who is Hager? What disrespect?
 * Jack Hager, as stated in the sentence above. It's a little bit hard to say regarding what the disrespect was, as it was in kayfabe (story). However, I'll expand his sentence to say what was said.


 * The italicising of events and media is inconsistent.
 * I'll go through the article with a copy edit for this.


 * 5 star wrestling is better, but there is still a bit convoluted and overly detailed. Especially compared to the previous sections. Not enough to fail though.
 * I will edit.


 * ...and then HT Drake by hitting the George Cross What does this mean?
 * George Cross was at the time, his finishing maneuver. It's stated in the In wrestling part, but I'll be more specific.


 * Will come back to some of the above queries soon. AIRcorn (talk) 18:26, 28 May 2018 (UTC)
 * The copyedits look good,, I have answered the above, and will do a copy edit for the event titles  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:21, 29 May 2018 (UTC)


 * Thanks for the improvements. Happy to pass this now. AIRcorn (talk) 08:27, 2 June 2018 (UTC)