Talk:Eddy Furniss/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 16:52, 11 June 2013 (UTC)

I'll review this article sometime tonight. Wizardman 16:52, 11 June 2013 (UTC)

Here are the issues I found: I'll put the article on hold and will pass when fixed. Wizardman 03:42, 12 June 2013 (UTC)
 * " He was first baseman and designated hitter." either combine with the first sentence or reword a bit so the sentence can stand on its own.
 * Combined. – Muboshgu (talk) 17:03, 14 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "In 1998, Furniss won the Dick Howser Trophy " The 1998's implied from the previous sentences, so not needed.
 * Removed – Muboshgu (talk) 17:03, 14 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "At the end of his career, he ranked third in the NCAA in total bases, fourth in home runs and doubles, and fifth in RBIs" All-time or just for that period?
 * All-time. – Muboshgu (talk) 17:03, 14 June 2013 (UTC)
 * I'm presuming this answer is no, but any spring training invites or 40-man roster appearances?
 * No to both. – Muboshgu (talk) 17:03, 14 June 2013 (UTC)
 * Overall, the article just seems to go from sentence to sentence, if that make sense, like a "he did x. he did y." Don't be afraid to combine sentences and work for better overall structure. It's actually a general thing I notice with your articles; it's not a GA issue necessarily since the prose is fine enough, but it is something to work on.
 * Interesting trend to notice. I'll work on this. – Muboshgu (talk) 17:03, 14 June 2013 (UTC)
 * I think in general I need to write more complex sentences, rather than have short ones one after the other. It's an interesting trend to notice, and I thank you for it. How does it look now? – Muboshgu (talk) 17:18, 14 June 2013 (UTC)
 * The article reads a good deal better now. Since everything's addressed I'll pass this as a GA. Wizardman  18:17, 14 June 2013 (UTC)