Talk:Eduardo Maldonado/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 05:05, 8 August 2023 (UTC)

Yo! I shall review this within one week.  ツ LunaEatsTuna  (💬)— 05:05, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Sorry for the wait! I have left my comments below.  ツ LunaEatsTuna  (💬)— 20:30, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Nice work on the changes! I am satisfied and can now confidently pass this article for GA status. Congrats!  ツ LunaEatsTuna  (💬)— 16:53, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

Copyvio check
Earwig says good to go.

File(s)
Image is appropriate and has a valid public CC BY 2.0 license on Commons.

Prose

 * "fixture of the department's cultural heritage" – I reckon "Potosí Department's cultural heritage" works fine here.
 * I would spell out master's degree in full.
 * Check! Krisgabwoosh (talk) 04:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * "getting his start as president" – recommend "commencing as president".
 * Check. That's a word I'm definitely adding to my regular article vocabulary. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 04:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * "He later held membership" – I would use Maldonado here IMO as his was just used three times.
 * Check. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 04:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * "(MAS-IPSP)" should be changed to "(MAS)" since this is the acronym used elsewhere in the article.
 * Check. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 04:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Can you add a translation in parentheses next to campesinos for unfamiliar readers?
 * I'd rather not, as the most accurate translation of "peasant" had kind of a negative connotation in this context – "a mob of peasants". Is it ok if I just link to the relevant section in the article on peasants? Krisgabwoosh (talk) 04:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Yes!  ツ LunaEatsTuna  (💬)— 16:50, 18 August 2023 (UTC)
 * "lived to win his race" – should it not be "the race"?
 * Since he's not running independently, yes, you're correct. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 04:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * "of three of five" – recommend "out of five" to avoid using of twice in close succession.
 * Check. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)
 * "Given his break with the MAS" – recommend "Given his divergence with the MAS".
 * "Given his 'split'"? Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)
 * That works!  ツ LunaEatsTuna  (💬)— 16:50, 18 August 2023 (UTC)
 * "Having done that, he kicked off his campaign" – how about "After accomplishing this, he initiated his campaign".
 * Check. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)
 * "ex-MAS legislators" – recommend "former MAS legislators" for better formality.
 * Check. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)
 * "delegation, as it had" – is the comma necessary here?
 * Check. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Remove the main article template for the 2021 Potosí municipal election until said article is created, as such templates cannot be redlinks.
 * Enclosed in an invisible comment. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Great.  ツ LunaEatsTuna  (💬)— 16:50, 18 August 2023 (UTC)
 * What does "until-then-current" entail?
 * Rearranged to "current-until-then"; in other words, they were part of the MAS up until their defection to the MTS. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Ah, I see – that clears things up.  ツ LunaEatsTuna  (💬)— 16:50, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

Refs
Spotcheck: I am using DeepL Translator to translate the text so forgive any errors on my part. Refs 3, 7, 19, 28, 36, 50, 59 and 62 are good.


 * Ref 11 does not seem to support the first sentence: "Although Maldonado's top billing on the MAS's slate of candidates significantly boosted his odds of entering the Senate, he nonetheless actively campaigned for the position".
 * Removed mention of his odds being boosted. "Top billing" is still justified; the article labels him "primer candidato a senador", meaning candidate occupying the top slot on the party's senatorial list.
 * Ahh I see!  ツ LunaEatsTuna  (💬)— 16:50, 18 August 2023 (UTC)
 * For ref 45 or 46, I recommend putting a citation directly after "a blue hand dictating the unethical actions of the ... Supreme Electoral Tribunal" as it is a direct quotation.
 * Check. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)