Talk:Edward Millen/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Coemgenus (talk) 13:12, 13 August 2011 (UTC)

Looks very good, but I have a few comments:

Early life

 * You might want to link or explain "land agent".
 * Linked. Frickeg (talk) 12:16, 24 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Exactly what sort of land reform did Millen espouse? The link doesn't help much.
 * Expanded - I couldn't find much on this. Frickeg (talk) 00:08, 26 August 2011 (UTC)

State politics

 * Maybe some brief explanation of Australian federation would be useful to non-Australians in understanding the politics of the era. Just a sentence or two, nothing too elaborate.
 * Added a little bit at the start of the "state politics" section - how's that? Frickeg (talk) 00:08, 26 August 2011 (UTC)
 * "...elected in the second position" Are these multi-member districts?  Some explanation, again, would help the non-Australian.
 * Reworded. Frickeg (talk) 12:16, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

Minister for Repatriation
I'll get to the rest of these on the weekend. Frickeg (talk) 12:16, 24 August 2011 (UTC)
 * You might want to explain the job of the Minister for Repatriation. Was it just about demobilization, or did he deal with veterans afterward, too?
 * Almost exclusively veterans; the portfolio eventually became Veterans' Affairs. I've tried to clarify the wording a little. Frickeg (talk) 00:08, 26 August 2011 (UTC)
 * OK. I probably won't be able to review them until then, anyway.  --Coemgenus (talk) 12:53, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

Other issues

 * These changes are all good. I'm a little concerned about how closely the "Early life" section follows the Rutledge article -- some of the sentences are very close to the source.  I understand that there's going to be some overlap in a chronological history -- things happened in that order, no matter how they're sourced -- but a little re-arranging might help.  --Coemgenus (talk) 15:54, 28 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Hopefully addressed. Frickeg (talk) 13:20, 2 September 2011 (UTC)
 * Works for me. --Coemgenus (talk) 22:03, 3 September 2011 (UTC)