Talk:Edward Puttick/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Anotherclown (talk • contribs) 11:21, 15 May 2013 (UTC)

Progression

 * Version of the article when originally reviewed:
 * Version of the article when review was closed:

Technical review

 * Citations: The Citation Check tool reveals no issues with reference consolidation (no action req'd).
 * Disambiguations: no dab links (no action req'd).
 * Linkrot: external links check out (no action req'd).
 * Alt text: Images lacks alt text so you might consider adding it (suggestion only - not a GA criteria).
 * Copyright violations: The Earwig Tool reveals no issues with copy violations or close paraphrasing (no action req'd).
 * Duplicate links: no duplicate links (no action req'd)

Criteria

 * It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * Seems a little stilted: "Edward Puttick was born in Timaru, Southern Canterbury, New Zealand, the son of a railway worker from London." Perhaps consider: "The son of a railway worker from London, Edward Puttick was born in Timaru, in Southern Canterbury, New Zealand."
 * "On 27 March, Puttick was wounded in the chest when leading...", consider instead: "On 27 March, Puttick was wounded in the chest while leading..."
 * "He was evacuated to England for treatment. After some recuperation, he commanded the New Zealand Rifle Brigade's training camp in Brocton, Staffordshire." Consider instead: "He was evacuated to England for treatment and after recuperating, commanded the New Zealand Rifle Brigade's training camp in Brocton, Staffordshire."
 * "In 1920, Puttick was appointed commander of the Fiji Expeditionary Force. This was raised following a request from the Fijian government for military forces to support local police dealing with striking labourers and farmers." Consider instead: "In 1920, Puttick was appointed commander of the Fiji Expeditionary Force, which had been raised following a request from the Fijian government for military forces to support local police dealing with striking labourers and farmers."
 * Lacks context: "When New Zealand declared war on Germany..." When?
 * Rephrased.
 * Possible missing word here: "...to make a counterattack to support defenders of Maleme airfield...", consider: "... to make a counterattack to support the defenders of Maleme airfield..."
 * Unclear what you mean here: "Any meaningful chance of the Allies successfully defending the capture of the island...", do you mean: "Any meaningful chance of the Allies successfully preventing the capture of the island..."?
 * How did I manage to phrase it like that?! Anyway, ✅
 * No MOS issues I could see.
 * Possible missing word here: "...to make a counterattack to support defenders of Maleme airfield...", consider: "... to make a counterattack to support the defenders of Maleme airfield..."
 * Unclear what you mean here: "Any meaningful chance of the Allies successfully defending the capture of the island...", do you mean: "Any meaningful chance of the Allies successfully preventing the capture of the island..."?
 * How did I manage to phrase it like that?! Anyway, ✅
 * No MOS issues I could see.
 * No MOS issues I could see.


 * It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * All major points cited using WP:RS.
 * No issues with OR.


 * It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * Most major points seem to be covered without going into undue detail.
 * Level of coverage seems appropriate.


 * It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * a (fair representation): b (all significant views):
 * No issues here.


 * It is stable.
 * No edit wars etc.:
 * No issues here.


 * It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
 * a (tagged and captioned): b (Is illustrated with appropriate images):  c (non-free images have fair use rationales):  d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:
 * Images are PD and seem appropriate to the article.


 * Overall:
 * a Pass/Fail:
 * Looks quite good, just a few prose issues to work through / discuss. Anotherclown (talk) 11:46, 16 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review AC - all points addressed. Zawed (talk) 09:55, 17 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Passing now. Anotherclown (talk) 10:07, 17 May 2013 (UTC)