Talk:Edwin Erickson/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 14:29, 19 February 2020 (UTC)

Criteria
1. Well-written
 * Prose is clear/concise/understandable ✅
 * Spelling/Grammar ✅
 * MOS lead - Needs a couple more sentences
 * MOS layout ✅

2. Verifiable
 * No OR - The caucuses statement is not supported by the citation given
 * No COPYVIO ✅
 * List of references properly formatted - a bare URL and another missing a parameter
 * Inline citations from reliable sources ✅

3. Broad in coverage
 * Covers main aspects See below
 * Stays on topic ✅

4. Neutral ✅

5. Stable ✅

6. Illustrated if possible
 * Media relevant ✅
 * Media tagged for copyright status ✅

Comments
Lead - You include the scope of his district in the lead, but not the main body of the article. It should be included in the article, too. In fact, in the main body (not lead or infobox), you don't even mention the district he represented. This should be included in the main body.

The lead is a bit brief for a biography GA, is there a way you could give a two or three more sentences?

What is the citation in the lead being used to support? The III suffix?

Infobox Items in the infobox should be cited in either the main body of the article or in the infobox. Erickson's residence in Newton Township is not cited in either place.

I'm assuming that Bryn Mawr was doing co-ed graduate programs at this point. That's correct, right?
 * , but the source (https://justfacts.votesmart.org/candidate/biography/47186/edwin-erickson) says that is where he got his phd

The personal website link takes me to something entirely in Spanish. This link should probably be removed, especially since the subject is deceased.

Biography "he was known for his active in guiding the policy behind" - What does this mean?

Pennsylvania Senate - The cited link for the caucuses takes me to the Vote Smart homepage, not the page containing the relevant data for Senator Erickson.

"Erickson left the Senate in January 2015" - Is this when his term expired? If you, it should probably be phrased as his term expiring. "Left the Senate" can mean many things.

Did anything particularly important happen during his senate term? That should be mentioned.

Who did he run against? He won a special election, we should get a brief description of that election - who did he run against? Was it a close race? Contested primary?

Later life - Both of those paragraphs can probably be combined, they're both rather short.

References

Ref 2 is a bare URL. Also, Legacy.com collects obituaries newspapers, it might be better to get the direct source.

Refs 2 and 4 need accessdates.
 * ✅ one source removed, one access date added

External links - The external link is a duplicate of a reference, and should be removed as it already appears.

That's it. Hog Farm (talk) 15:24, 19 February 2020 (UTC)
 * I've taken a crack at fixing the issues you raised - see above. Thanks, --DannyS712 (talk) 22:26, 19 February 2020 (UTC)
 * - I added a sentence about his EPA regional adminstratorship to the lead. I'm going to pass this as a GA now. Hog Farm (talk) 02:07, 20 February 2020 (UTC)