Talk:Efren Reyes/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: CR4ZE (talk · contribs) 04:52, 7 October 2020 (UTC)

I'll have a look at this once my GAN closes (qpq). Thanks! —  CR 4 ZE (T &bull; C)  04:52, 7 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Just a small update—I'll be looking at this within the next few days. Please ping me if I haven't got anything to you by Monday. —  CR 4 ZE (T &bull; C)  12:59, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

As promised,


 * Lead
 * Are commas needed between honorifics and birth date?
 * I have no idea about honorifics, so I've removed them entirely, happy to do whatever is suitable. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * The lead states Reyes is considered one of pool's greatest players twice.
 * removed Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Pool Career
 * Section should be Pool career or perhaps just Career.
 * Indeed, career is fine. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "Reyes took on Pepito Dace ... played in rotation" - should be a comma after "which".
 * I've reworded. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "who ran their own event, they later acknowledged" - comma splice.
 * done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Personal life
 * Are you able to negate choppy paragraphs and short sections? Personal life is a single sentence. OK if not possible.
 * Fixed into a longer section. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Accolades
 * "In 1995 Billiards Digest Magazine" needs a comma.
 * Done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Major titles and achievements
 * 1996/2000 PBT World and 1999 World Professional championships are unsourced.
 * Now sourced. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Images
 * File:Efren Reyes in the World 9-Ball Pool Championship (2).jpg is published under CC BY 2.0 and File:Efren Reyes and fan.jpg is in the public domain.


 * References
 * Looking good. Thank you for archiving.
 * Nothing worse than working on an article up to GAN, and then the site changes domain or dies. Been burned before! Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Not familiar with this topic so I will have to trust that all cites are to RS.
 * Spot-checked #31: published in 2019 not 2020, so perhaps a hard reading of ATT would mean the article text needs to reflect this.
 * I'll see if there's anything from this year (most competitions closed due to COVID, so no one is playing anything!), but changed to 2019. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Spot-checked #35: can you please point me to a quote that supports "Reyes is known for his highly unorthodox cueing technique"? Couldn't find anything upon a quick read-through.
 * I've changed this to how creative he is. I'd like to add something about his use of Backhand English (or Carabao); which is why he looks like he's playing every shot wrong, but I could only find that really described it. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski  (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Also spot-checked #8, #45, #47, #48: AGF on others.

I always offer suggestions to improve the article beyond the GA scope. You may consider these during or after the review (or not at all).
 * Out of scope
 * Paragraphs in lead could be equally balanced.
 * Yeah, ideally there would be a little more on his technique and such, I'm doing some offline searches for such. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "$100k" is lower-cased in the lead but everywhere else is in upper-case.
 * Changed Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "winning the event partnering Francisco Bustamante in 2006 and 2009" could be with partner Francisco Bustamanate or simply with.
 * Done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "Many analysts, fans, current and former players" - you could safely lose "current and former".
 * Agreed. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "He cleaned the tables, and would sleep on the floor" - no need for a comma.
 * Changed. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "the players played" is a little awkward.
 * Fixed. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "U.S." is used before United States; I'd pick one and keep consistent.
 * I have fixed this. Bare in mind that the U.S. Open 9-ball championship is intentionally spelt wrong. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "Reyes claims to have earned $80,000" should be "once earned".
 * I don't really see what this does to change the meaning. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Check serial commas: "United States, Europe, and parts of Asia" is one example where a comma is not needed.
 * I have changed this, bare in mind serial commas are fine in articles, as long as they are consistent. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "Two years later, Efren Reyes"" - just call him Reyes.
 * Don Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "earning ¥20M ($170K) first prize" could be "and earning".
 * Fixed. 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "That following year" → "the following year".
 * Done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "He partnered Francisco Bustamante" could be "partnered with" (not sure).
 * Original seems fine to me. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Could "veteran professional Billy Incardona"'s quote be paraphrased a little?
 * Well, just "professional", wouldn't be suitable, but "veteran player" might be better? Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Make sure refs are bundled chronologically. Do "in the final and won 11–9" and "and an eight-ball bronze medal at the 2002 Asian Games" need three cites each?
 * Well, I don't see that this meets WP:CITEKILL, so seems fine to me. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Just double-check all redlinks could meet GNG.
 * They do. AZ Billiards is the only one I haven't already thought about making, but it's a notable website. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)

On hold for as long as needed. That's it for now. Thanks! —  CR 4 ZE (T &bull; C)  04:32, 11 October 2020 (UTC)
 * I've made the above chnges . Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for tending to my comments, . Just some follow-up as I pass this. I meant shortening Billy Incardona's quote as some parts of it seem a little redundant, but I'll leave that up to you. The ref examples cited weren't necessarily a CITEKILL (non-policy) example, however they could be bundled. Note that except for material highly likely to be CHALLENGED, 1-2 refs to RS would be more than enough. Spot-checked a few refs (#35, #36, #67) again. I a few things on my own but you may not like some of my changes, so feel free to change as you see fit. I don't see anything else that I would need to hold this up on, so:

Result

 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Well done! —  CR 4 ZE (T &bull; C)  02:10, 14 October 2020 (UTC)
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Well done! —  CR 4 ZE (T &bull; C)  02:10, 14 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Well done! —  CR 4 ZE (T &bull; C)  02:10, 14 October 2020 (UTC)