Talk:Eight precepts/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 12:21, 25 October 2019 (UTC)

Opening statement
In reviews I conduct, I may make small copyedits. These will only be limited to spelling and punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. For replying to Reviewer comment, please use ✅,, , ❌, , or , followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. — ♠Vami _IV†♠  12:21, 25 October 2019 (UTC)

Disclosure: I consider myself at least a wiki-acquaintance of the nominee, Farang Rak Tham, and I have previously reviewed several of their articles before. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  12:21, 25 October 2019 (UTC)

Thank you for all your efforts,. You are an invaluable asset to our Wikipedia!-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

Lead

 * That Citation Needed tag should obviously be there.
 * I have put a citation there now. That citation is also in the body of the text, though.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

Description

 * [...] wrong speech [...] Having reviewed the five precepts article, I understand the meaning here, but don't think it adequately conveyed. "Damaging" would be better than "wrong" in this instance.
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

Origins

 * [...], as well as the [...] Replace with "and"
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)


 * [...] brahminism did not migrate to the early Buddhist region till much later. This should be "Brahaminism".
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

"Till much later" is confusing without any dates being used before. It's like saying "and then he traveled from nowhere to somewhere".
 * .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

Practice

 * Fluids are allowed. Considering that this forms a (short) exception to the previous sentence and uses the same citations, I advise combination of the two.
 * .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

History

 * In the 1980s and 1990s, Thailand saw the rise to popularity of the politician Chamlong Srimuang. As a member of the Buddhist Santi Asoke movement, Srimuang observed the eight precepts continuously, even during his life as a politician. Combine and condense.
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)


 * Could this section be combined with or follow "Origins"? In case of the former, I would have the section be called "History" with the contemporary information in a subsection named "Contemporary history".
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)