Talk:Electric Chapel/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 17:26, 27 August 2016 (UTC)

Hi there! I'm Cartoon network freak and my GAN review for your nomination is going to arrive soon. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 17:26, 27 August 2016 (UTC)

Lead

 * a song by → a song recorded by
 * from her second → for her second
 * on the Facebook gaming app → remove "the"
 * app, FarmVille, → remove first comma
 * Duran Duran and → Duran Duran, and
 * "Electric Chapel" is → "Electric Chapel" portrays
 * is here is correct lol. A song cannot portray, rather it can "be" a genre.
 * that displays → that incorporates
 * within its → in its
 * Link "critics" to music journalism
 * track with → track, with
 * You may link "rock" and "sci-fi"
 * reacheed → one "e" to much
 * on the → on Gaga's
 * inside a structure named as electric chapel → this sounds kind of weird; try to reword if possible
 * this section uses the word "song" too often; try to alternate with "recording", "track", "single"...
 * Cannot use single since it wasn't one haha.

Background and composition

 * The existence of "Electric Chapel" was first discovered when a one minute instrumental clip of the song was used during Lady Gaga's Transmission Gagavision 44 video. The track title is seen written on a paper at the end of the video. The name "Electric Chapel" was seen again in the music video for "Judas". Gaga revealed on Twitter that the song was written in Australia and finished on her tour bus in Europe. → "Electric Chapel" was first previewed when a one-minute portion of its instrumental was used for Gaga's Transmission Gagavision 44 video. With the title's track being displayed on a paper during the end of the clip, it additionally made an appearance in the music video for "Judas" (2011). Subsequently, Gaga revealed...
 * Describing the song about → Describing the recording's lyrical themes as delving on
 * Here, you must say who theorized it.
 * Like the opening track of Born This Way, "Marry the Night", the song also premiered on social network game FarmVille's special edition called GagaVille, on May 18, 2011 → Like the opening track of Born This Way, "Marry the Night", the song made its debut on a special edition of social network game FarmVille, called GagaVille and released on May 18, 2011.
 * that "If → that "if
 * referred "Electric Chapel" as electro rock → referred "Electric Chapel" to as an electro rock recording
 * the song pop metal → the song as being of pop mental genre
 * Lol, "mental"? :D
 * unlike "Heavy → unlike fellow song from the album, "Heavy
 * bands like Duran Duran and singers Cher and Billy Idol. → same as in the lead :)
 * Inspired by 1980s music Gaga wanted to add a spoken word section in the song, like that of 1978 The B-52's song, "Rock Lobster" → Inspired by 1980s music, the track incorporates a spoken word section, which Gaga wanted to sound like The B-52's "Rock Loboster" (1978).
 * Writing for Beats Per Minute website → Writing for music website Beats Per Minute
 * Koepp, described → remove comma
 * In the second pre-chorus Gaga sings, "Follow me, don't be such a holy fool / follow me, I need something sacred from you / together we'll both find a way to make it pure, love, work in a dirty way." → This information should be removed; lyrics shouldn't be written out at all if they aren't accompanied by analyses from music websites
 * common time with a → common time, and a
 * of A minor with → add comma after "minor"
 * You use the word "song" two times in a row
 * as its → serving as its
 * was remixed → was later remixed
 * titled, Born → remove comma
 * The singer unveiled → Gaga unveiled
 * that " Two → that "two

Critical response

 * Overall → Upon its release
 * reviews → reviews from music critics
 * Daw → Robbie Daw from Idolator
 * Unlink "singles"
 * I want to keep it as the link, since referring to the commercial singles.
 * You use "Electric Chapel"; try to alternate with song, track, recording...
 * Chapel", "pairs → remove comma
 * saying, "perhaps → confessing that "perhaps
 * compared the opening → compared its opening
 * "It's a Fine Day" and compared it to science fiction music → "It's a Fine Day", with him further likening the recording to science fiction music.
 * You use "track" two times in a row
 * saying "Gaga → saying that "Gaga
 * You use "saying or say" too often; alternate with confessed, felt...
 * relationship, heavy → relationship, with heavy
 * An article → In an article

Live performance

 * on the Born This Way Ball → on her Born This Way Ball
 * The singer emerged from a facade with her assortment of dancers, musicians, and an actual horse; she referred to the structure as an electric chapel, where performances which could provoke religious reactions took place, like those of "Black Jesus + Amen Fashion" and "Bloody Mary". → I don't want to be rude, but reword, as this is to complicated to understand for a reader; I didn't get the sentence's sense, though.
 * Not at all, I perfectly see where you are coming from.
 * the third segment where Gaga performed her previous popular tracks, and then seguing into "Chapel" and "Americano" from Born This Way. → the tour's third segment, where Gaga sung various other tracks, followed by her seguing into "Chapel" and "Americano" from Born This Way.
 * Did a whole cleanup.
 * was again → was additionally
 * the performance of the song → the singer's appearance
 * found that her → remove "that"

Track listing

 * flawless

Credits and personnel

 * Credits adapted from Born This Way album liner notes. → Credits adapted from the liner notes of Born This Way.
 * You may place this above.

Charts

 * flawless

Outcome
I've put this article for 7 days. Best and good luck with editing, Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:28, 29 August 2016 (UTC)
 * If you wish to, we can get ready with this already this night. There are not very big flaws in this article, and it may take you 30 mins to fix them. All depends on you Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:33, 29 August 2016 (UTC)
 * Hi, I'm actually working through phone so will wait until I get my laptop please? — I B  [ Poke  ] 18:43, 29 August 2016 (UTC)
 * Sorry for the delayed response, but I was reviewing another article. I am here on Wikipedia today until 21 o'clock. Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:09, 29 August 2016 (UTC)
 * Will be responding today, sorry I got side tracked. — I B  [ Poke  ] 08:45, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
 * All done . — I B  [ Poke  ] 11:51, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
 * Gladly passing after I have further made some minor edits to the article. Congrats, Cartoon network freak (talk) 12:51, 31 August 2016 (UTC)