Talk:Elendil/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: AirshipJungleman29 (talk · contribs) 17:00, 18 February 2022 (UTC)

Starting review
Hi, I'll be taking this review. Shouldn't take too long, methinks. AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 17:00, 18 February 2022 (UTC)
 * Many thanks for taking this on. Chiswick Chap (talk) 17:24, 18 February 2022 (UTC)


 * 1) Well written: the prose is clear and concise.
 * 2) Well written: the spelling and grammar are correct.
 * 3) Complies with the MOS guidelines for lead sections.
 * 4) Complies with the MOS guidelines for article structure and layout.
 * 5) ''Complies with the MOS guidelines for words to watch.
 * 6) Complies with the MOS guidelines for writing about fiction –.
 * 7) Complies with the MOS guidelines for list incorporation – not applicable.
 * 8) Complies with the MOS guidelines for use of quotations.
 * 9) All statements are verifiable with inline citations provided.
 * 10) All inline citations are from reliable sources, etc.
 * 11) Contains a list of all references in accordance with the layout style guideline.
 * 12) No original research.
 * 13) No copyright violations or plagiarism.
 * 14) Broad in its coverage but within scope and in summary style.
 * 15) Neutral.
 * 16) Stable.
 * 17) Illustrated, if possible.
 * 18) Images are at least fair use and do not breach copyright.

AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 17:05, 18 February 2022 (UTC)

Chiswick Chap, nice article. Few points to be made.

Comments

 * Lead is slightly short. A sentence on the Last Alliance wouldn't go amiss.
 * Added.


 * Biography section - some things are slightly confused. Currently unclear whether palantiri were taken by Elendil and his followers in general, or just Isildur and Anarion.
 * Done.


 * Maybe clarify that Elendil founded Arnor, and his sons Gondor + explain position of High Kingship, if possible.
 * Done.


 * "when the days darkened" – rather poetical, probably too much. Rephrase.
 * Done.


 * Earendil sentence - maybe "...had done: to sail to Valinor..."?
 * Done.


 * "38-greats-grandson" - awkward. Maybe try "40th-generation descendant" or similar?
 * Done.


 * "Unfinished Tales explains that..." – bit nitpicky, but not really an explanation. Maybe 'records' or 'mentions'?
 * Reworded.


 * Could do with page numbers on the Birns source.
 * Done.


 * Classical echoes section – seems more focused on Isildur and the Ring. Either emphasise Elendil's significance or cut it – not necessary.
 * Reworded.


 * Fresco image — maybe instead of "both men having" write "who also", to focus the caption more on the image.
 * Good idea, reworded.

That's it for the moment, look forward to your response. AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 18:16, 18 February 2022 (UTC)
 * Many thanks, all done to date. Chiswick Chap (talk) 19:28, 18 February 2022 (UTC)
 * Nicely done, have made one grammatical change of my own.

Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: