Talk:Eli Parsons Royce/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 09:01, 4 October 2020 (UTC)

Taking this review for the GAN October 2020 Backlog Drive. MWright96 (talk) 09:01, 4 October 2020 (UTC)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Infobox

 * Royce's occupation should begin with a capital letter

Lead

 * Clarify Royce was American in the first sentence
 * "and considered the founder of Escanaba." - and is considered

Early life

 * "Royce was born in Clinton, New York, November 29, 1820." - on November 29
 * "Phinehas Royce, was a Quaker and born in Massachusetts." - Perhaps make the text in bold a little shorter like was a Massachusetts-born Quaker?
 * I think the second and third sentences can be merged together
 * "Royce is their fourth son." - shouldn't it be was?

Career

 * Consider merging the first two sentences of the first paragraph
 * Use the convert template on the miles measurements
 * "like being able" - such as
 * "After some time," - how much time exactly?
 * "He also taught school for two years." - I'm not sure what is meant by this sentence. Does it mean he taught at a particular school for this period?
 * "He got various jobs in Chicago then from 1840 - 1842." - from 1840 to 1842.
 * "and worked with him." - what sort of work did Royce do with the Mayor of Chicago?
 * "He later returned in the summer of 1849" - per MOS:SEASONS, using seasons to refer to a particular time of the year is not recommended
 * "built west to the" - of the
 * "and married to Sarah J. Barras," - a word is missing between "and" and "married"
 * "There he studied law" - did Royce study law at a particular institution?
 * Upper Peninsula is linked twice
 * "and is considered the founder" - considered by whom?

Death

 * "Royce died May 26, 1912, at the age of 91." - died on May 26,
 * Detroit Free Press states he died on the morning of May 26, 1912 from old age