Talk:Elmer White/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 14:53, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

Am reviewing this entry MWright96 (talk) 14:53, 2 April 2021 (UTC)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Lede

 * White's nationality should be stated in the first sentence of the lede
 * Think the first and second paragraphs should be merged for flow
 * "he died of tuberculosis in March of 1872," - avoid using the date format highlighted in bold per MOS:DATESNO
 * "becoming the first player from a professional baseball league to die." - becoming the first professional baseball league player death.
 * I think it's grammatically better the way it is. Your phrasing uses less words but runs the risk of making people think he died as a result of playing baseball. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 23:52, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * Any more information on White's parents?
 * No, that was all the book said about them. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 23:48, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

National Association (1871)

 * Wikilink right field, outfielder, playing field and run to the relevant articles for non-Baseball readers
 * "His season was interrupted on June 19. The Forest Citys were playing the New York Mutuals, and White was playing catcher." - perhaps merge these two sentences together?
 * "and White was unable to play following the incident." - for how many games did White miss?
 * Write out about RBI stands for and wikilink the term for non-Baseball readers
 * "though Cleveland was defeated 9–7 by the Boston Red Stockings." - lost 9–7 to the
 * "White played over half" - more than
 * "of the game's" - think the word in bold is a typo

Death

 * "According to baseball historian Frank Russo," - maybe add the name of Russo's book containing this information?

Relatives

 * "At least one account indicates that White was also related to Warren White," - whose account exactly?

Will put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above MWright96 (talk) 16:28, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Now promoting to GA class MWright96 (talk) 07:39, 3 April 2021 (UTC)