Talk:Elmer Wilkens/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 02:43, 19 August 2023 (UTC)

I'll review this in a few days. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk)  @ 02:43, 19 August 2023 (UTC)

Lead

 * In the infobox, 6–7 looks like a record. Maybe 6 or 7 with a link to the same note (Note b)
 * Recommend splitting the part about playing in the NFL into its own sentence.

Early life and education

 * He attended Fort Wayne High School there, being one of only three of their alumni ever to make it to the National Football League (NFL). -> He attended Fort Wayne High School and became one of only three of their alumni ever to make it to the NFL.
 * I think this section suffers a bit from WP:OVERLINK, but its nothing I would hold up the nom for. But things like basketball, freshman, sophomore, quarterback, senior, etc are a bit much for me.
 * I delinked qb, football and basketball, but I think freshman, sophomore and senior are better to link; at other GA/FA reviews on football I believe I've seen reviewers suggest linking those terms.
 * rival is a bit of an WP:EASTEREGG, not sure the link to Old Oaken Bucket is warranted or expected, especially if it isn't reference by name in the article.
 * The Old Oaken Bucket is the article on the Purdue/Indiana rivalry - I think it makes sense to link.
 * ...as the last game at their long-time stadium, Jordan Field comma probably isn't needed here.

Professional career

 * You can just say "NFL" since you already spelled it out in the lead.

Later life and death

 * This section suffers a bit from short, fragmented sentences. Could you look at options for combining sentences? (like owning the business until enlisting)
 * Similar to the other article, he enlisted in the military or Army, not into the war. Recommended rewording a bit to note his enlistment and then service in World War II.

Images

 * All the photos are PD and appear appropriately tagged.

Looks good, putting on hold. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk)  @ 20:02, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I've either corrected or replied to each of your points. BeanieFan11 (talk) 21:04, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Looks good, passing. « Gonzo fan2007  (talk)  @ 22:39, 21 August 2023 (UTC)