Talk:Enrico Alfano/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: MPJ-DK (talk · contribs) 15:53, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

Full disclosure: I am a WIki Cup and GA Cup participant, I have my own GAN (CMLL World Tag Team Championship) and I also have a Feature Article (CMLL World Heavyweight Championship) and Feature List (Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship) candidates in need of input. Not that it's a factor in my review but it would be appreciated.

I am about to start my review of this article, normally I provide my input in bits and pieces over a day or two so expect running updates for a while.  MPJ  -US 15:53, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

GA Toolbox
I like to get this checked out first, I have found issues using this that has led to quick fails so it's important this passes muster.


 * Peer Review
 * So is the article conforming to American or British spelling? ✅ British, except for the direct quotes
 * Please use the "non-breaking space" between measurements and their units. Ex "250 kilometres" should be "250& nbsp;kilometres" (note: remove the space) ✅


 * Copyright violations
 * this link outlines an issue of some repeated phrase from a separate source, they are not significant enough to be outright violations. Please do check on the link and see if you can rephrase some of it. ✅ I did rephrase some of it, what remains is minor and/or inevitable.


 * Disambiguation links
 * ✅ - checks out.


 * External links
 * ✅ - checks out.

Images

 * No copyright issues due to their age, so that is fine.
 * None of the pictures have alt text, please add those. ❌ Not a requirement for GA

General review

 * "He was a man of commanding presence." - This is just a sentence fragment, can you elaborate? ✅
 * " complicity with the thieves, but was" - no need for the comma ✅
 * "injured by knife by ruffians" - repeating the "by" is just poor English, can you reword it ✅
 * "encouraged by the Camorra and the police."... to do what?
 * "raided the apartment in 108 Mulberry Street" should be "at 108" ✅
 * "After a 17-month trial" - comma after trial. ✅
 * "After his conviction Alfano", comma after convicion. ✅
 * "In prison he took on the old family" - shouldn't that be "took up"? ✅
 * Foreign language words such as "Cammora" should be in italics, the article is pretty consistent on other words but not this one. ❌ I am afraid I have to disagree, just as the word Mafia, Camorra has become common in English and does not need to be italicized.
 * "known as the Saredo Inquiry since it was led by senator Giuseppe Saredo and which unearthed an extensive political patronage system in the city of Naples.[5]" - this detail seems to be superflous to Alfano. ✅ Added a sentence to clarify.
 * The very next sentence is a total odds with the fact that a 1901 report did not mention him, but he was apparently the head of the organization from 1892? ✅ Added a sentence to clarify.
 * Using the term "rise to power" and then equating it to being arrested seems odd. ✅ Rephrased.
 * Still not sure of the timing of what is mentioned in the "early life" section, any posibility of putting some years in there? ✅ No exact chronology is available, but I did put some years.
 * The investigation got new momentum when Gennaro Abbatemaggio, a young camorrista and a former Carabinieri informer serving a jail sentence in Naples gave", should be a comma after "Naples" ✅


 * - This is generally a really well written, well sourced article. Only a few things to point out. I will probably read through it again but for now I am putting it on hold for 7 days to allow for improvements to be made
 * Forgot to sign the above comment, it was made March 5, which means that I would need to see activity by March 12 to keep this review open.  MPJ  -US 12:45, 8 March 2016 (UTC)


 * - So this has sat for for seven days with no signs of activity at all. At this point I am going to go ahead and fail the article, but feel free to address the issues and then submit it for GA again. MPJ  -US 14:13, 12 March 2016 (UTC)


 * - Sorry, I was unable to answer your suggestions at the time. I did work on them later on. DonCalo (talk) 07:14, 5 June 2016 (UTC)