Talk:Entertainment industry during World War II

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 14 January 2019 and 25 April 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Balkees Al-Jaafari, Abdulazizjalthani, MahaThAl.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 20:45, 17 January 2022 (UTC)

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 1 April 2019 and 14 June 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): SARZ86.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 20:45, 17 January 2022 (UTC)

External links modified
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I have just modified 3 one external links on Entertainment industry during World War II. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20110622033654/http://www.sfmuseum.org/hist10/philo.html to http://www.sfmuseum.org/hist10/philo.html
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20120612031637/http://www.iwm.org.uk/collections/item/object/100021800 to http://www.iwm.org.uk/collections/item/object/100021800
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20110526011434/http://www.mersey-gateway.org/server.php?show=ConWebDoc.1344 to http://www.mersey-gateway.org/server.php?show=ConWebDoc.1344

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Peer Review - Yassine Ouahrani
Hello,

The topic of the entertainment industry during the World War 2 is a very interesting and important when studying the history of film. I think that overall you did hit all the beats in terms of what the article promises. I like the geographical and technological division by section and the clarity of your arguments that went into each argument, though I have a couple of suggestion and observations that have to do with citing, precision and structure.

First of, I think you need to be more precise throughout your article because you make very important statement but do not give examples to them. For instance, the introductory paragraph mentions the melding of governments with media for manupolatary reasons but you do not say which did it exactly, which leaves your statments largely unfocused at times. The same goes for sub-sections such as the first paragraph of "radio" or "film".

I suggest you correct the lack of precision by adding examples and referring directly to historical events. Secondly, I think it is mandatory you make use of more sources throughout the artcile. Adding wikipedia hyperlinks will not be enough as you make many claims and lay down many important information without refering to a given source. For example, the introductory paragraph and the first claims made about radio are in need of sources so that we the reader can be situated in terms of where the content is from.

Lastly, I was a bit confused with the structure. As written above, I liked that you divided by technology and country but I didn't understand why countries were under film and not radio. My piont being that a lack of continutity under subsections can make the article look uneven and therefore non-credible to the reader.

Overall, I would say that the foundation is defintely present. It is now a matter of tuning and reshuffling through the artcile in my opinion. Hope it helps and good luck!

YO — Preceding unsigned comment added by YassineNUQ (talk • contribs) 18:03, 23 March 2019 (UTC)

Article needs rewriting
Upon examining this article, I have discovered that it is in drastic need of rewriting. Some spots are full of grammatical mistakes, and informal language is present throughout; many points are vague and lack elaboration, as well, implying a poorly written article. R23$94ACQ3R (talk) 04:36, 25 November 2022 (UTC)