Talk:Erotica (Madonna album)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 16:58, 18 July 2012 (UTC)

Info box

 * Include the Writer parameter
 * ❌ Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 16:21, 22 July 2012 (UTC)
 * For the Alt parameter you've written: "Picture of a woman face in a negative tone." But given the album title, Erotica, and that the album is mainly about sex, I would have said her face was more sexual than negative.
 * ✅ 11Jorn  leave a message 19:13, 19 July 2012 (UTC)

Lead

 * Link music critics
 * produced by André Betts. → You've already said his name in the first paragraph, so only use his surname from that point on.
 * peaking at number two on the Billboard 200 and in the United Kingdom → Instead of mixing a chart and country, either write: on the US Billboard 200 and the UK Album Chart or in the United States and the United Kingdom.
 * I'd write where it topped the charts first, not last.
 * erotic thriller → Link thriller and write that it is a film.
 * a dancer doing topless → This doesn't make sense. Re-word it.
 * ✅ 11Jorn  leave a message 19:13, 19 July 2012 (UTC)

Background

 * 2The first two project" → I think project is mean't to be projects?
 * "and co-produce" → produced?
 * "(1990), " → (1991) and. You only list two songs, so use and to link the first to the second. You only use a comma if it is for example three: one, two and three.
 * Have you got sources or credits to support that he co-wrote those songs two songs?
 * "In 1992, Madonna collaborated with Pettibone on "This Used to Be My Playground", the soundtrack of the film A League of Their Own, in which Madonna had role as Mae Mordabito, a baseball player on an all-women's team." → Source for the film info?


 * Everything ✅ 11Jorn  leave a message

Development
"on his book" → in his book "According to record producer Shep Pettibone" → You said Shep Pettibone in the Background section. You only use their full name once, from then on, you refer to him or her by their surname only. Only link them the first time too.
 * "In March 1992, they had fifteen songs. When Madonna travaled to work on her next film Body of Evidence, Pettibone had time to work on some songs with Cathy Dennis and Taylor Dayne." → Source?
 * Place a footnote after "fifteen songs." too. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 16:28, 22 July 2012 (UTC)
 * "to include in her book, Sex" → Unlink, already been linked in the previous section.
 * ❌ Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 16:28, 22 July 2012 (UTC)
 * "Madonna and the producer did the mixing for a song called "Erotic", that she wanted to include in her book, Sex. She felt it should sound the same as 'Erotica', from the album. Pettibone said: "'You have all these great stories in the book [Sex]. Why don't you use them in the song?' I knew that Madonna was developing a 1930s dominatrix look for Erotica, but I didn't realize how far she was willing to go before I saw Sex. It contained stories authored by her mysteriously dark alter, Dita. Madonna took the book and walked out of the room and didn't come back until about half an hour later. Suddenly she was on the mic[rophone], speaking 'My name is Dita,' she said, 'and I'll be your mistress tonight.' I knew that the original 'Erotica' would never be the same again, and it wasn't." Shep Pettibone also said that a cover version of Little Willie John's song called "Fever" substitued a song called "Goodbye to Innocence".[5]" → Is this entire part supported by FN5??
 * ❌ Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 16:28, 22 July 2012 (UTC)


 * Everything ✅ 11Jorn  leave a message

Music structure and lyrics

 * "It uses uses" → I think you can spot what needs to be cut :)


 * ✅ 11Jorn  leave a message

Critical reception

 * Link music critics
 * There are a lot of quotes. Try and paraphrase some. Perhaps follow the quote, paraphrase quote, quote system could be useful?
 * ❌ Still a load of quotes. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 16:29, 22 July 2012 (UTC)


 * Everything ✅ 11Jorn  leave a message

Chart performance

 * "Erotica debuted at number two on the Billboard 200 on November 11, 1992, selling 167,000 copies on its first week." → Source provided does not say anything about sales of 167,000 copies. You need to find a source, or remove it.
 * Where is it in the Behind the Bullet Billboard article? I can't see it. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 16:31, 22 July 2012 (UTC)
 * "The album sold 1,893,000 in the United States." → Source provided doesn't mention total sales at all.


 * Everything ✅ 11Jorn  leave a message

Singles

 * If you are linking singles for the second/third time by this section, then they need to be unlinked. Only ever link the first instance of something. I can see repeat linking here of singles. And for Sex.
 * Audio file is fine.


 * Everything ✅ 11Jorn  leave a message

Promotion

 * "along the song" → You mean alongside the song?


 * ✅ 11Jorn  leave a message

Legacy

 * Unlink Slant Magazine. Second instance.
 * "Upon the title track's release, the Vatican banned Madonna from entering the state and her music was banned on its radio stations." → Source?
 * What track are you talking about in the second paragraph?


 * Everything ✅ 11Jorn  leave a message

Track listing

 * No issues.

Credits and personnel

 * No issues.

Charts and certifications

 * I've done a slight c/e so the tables conform with WP:ACCESS
 * You don't need to link countries in the Certifications table. Already link in the Charts table. Also, perhaps provide the provider like |here.


 * Everything ✅ 11Jorn  leave a message

Summary
Quite a lot to do. References need work. I won't fail the article, I'll put on hold for 7 days. But to ensure that I don't fail "American Life (song)" for the same mistakes, please apply these comments and make a c/e of "American Life". I don't want to have to spend time repeating comments I've made here! :-). Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 16:13, 20 July 2012 (UTC)


 * Alright, thanks. 11Jorn  leave a message 21:38, 20 July 2012 (UTC)
 * You haven't done most of the things I asked. I know I said I wouldn't fail the article, but I would have thought you would have actually done what I asked. You haven't gone through the references or provided sources for things which were ambiguous. You need go right through the article, read things out loud to yourself, and spend time making sure everything is sourced and cited where appropriate, and that your references are correct and consistent. Sorry but I'm failing the article. Please make sure you take note of what I have written and asked and apply it to "American Life (song)", otherwise that could have the same result. Aaron  &bull; You  Da  One 16:50, 22 July 2012 (UTC)