Talk:Evan Gattis/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Secret (talk · contribs) 15:51, 20 April 2014 (UTC)

I will review this Secret account 15:51, 20 April 2014 (UTC)

Reviewing...


 * "Gattis was a premier amateur baseball player in the Forney, Texas, area through high school." Early life mentions he was born in Forney but played amateur baseball in the Dallas area, fix.
 * Changed to DFW. Forney is within the DFW metroplex, but it does seem that his amateur career was more expansive than just Forney. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)


 * "However, anxiety and substance abuse...." Body of text doesn't mention anything about anxiety, only "the fear of failing", which is rather broad. Clarify or remove.
 * Fear and anxiety are interrelated. Fear can lead to anxiety. I added that he was diagnosed with clinical depression and "anxiety" in 2007 in the "Wandering", from the USA Today source. It should say "anxiety disorder", since "anxiety" is a part of all of our lives, and not a diagnosis. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)


 * "after receiving a phone call from the team's coach." Telling what?
 * From ref AJC, "While there he got a call from Seminole State (Okla.) baseball coach Eric Myers, asking if he was interested in playing." I added that it was a recruitment phone call. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "He injured his knee at Seminole State, became burned out on baseball, and quit." I'm not sure "became burned out" is the best way to word this.
 * "and for a resort as a ski-lift operator at the Eldora Mountain Resort." - for a resort is redundant, remove.
 * Check. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)
 * New Age should be wikilinked somewhere as that what it was according to the source, as "spiritual advisor" is broad.
 * Also check. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "Twice named the SAL player of the week,[6] Gattis won the SAL batting title that season[3] and was named to the post-season all-star team.[6]" The citations can be merged, being on the same sentence, also the prose here seems a bit awkward.
 * Agreed. Rewrote it and split into two sentences. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "while his father was being interviewed live by the Braves' television broadcast." - seems like trivia, remove.
 * Yeah, I didn't add that. Removed. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)
 * "The fan winced over in pain and reportedly lost a shoe in the incident" - trivia, remove.
 * Didn't add that either. Removed. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)
 * On April 16, Gattis went 4-for-4 with one home run in a 1–0 victory, the first time a player has done this since Rogers Hornsby in 1929.[28] Done what??
 * Had gone 4-for-4 with a home run in a 1-0 victory. It's redundant to say it twice. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:29, 22 April 2014 (UTC)
 * No close paraphasing concerns, all sources are reliable, all images are free of use, just fix the prose and I'll pass it, on hold for now. Thanks Secret account 14:45, 22 April 2014 (UTC)

Ok passing. Secret account 15:58, 22 April 2014 (UTC)
 * Thank you! Now let's see if I have enough points to get to the next round... 16:07, 22 April 2014 (UTC)