Talk:Evelyn Nesbit/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Thine Antique Pen (talk · contribs) 10:38, 30 July 2012 (UTC)


 * I shall review this article. Thine   Antique   Pen  10:38, 30 July 2012 (UTC)

WP:LASTNAME
Please remove all use of 'Evelyn' in the article, per WP:LASTNAME. Only include where you are stating their full birth name, which is in the lead. Use 'Nesbit' their surname or 'she' or something like that in the body of the article. Thine  Antique   Pen  11:40, 30 July 2012 (UTC)

Lead
Needs lots of work. Does not summarise the article well enough. I would expect 2—3 paragraphs for this size of article. Thine  Antique   Pen  11:40, 30 July 2012 (UTC)

Early life

 * Paragraph 1: MOS:BOLD issues. Unbold "Florence Evelyn Nesbit" and include in lead. Thine   Antique   Pen  12:27, 1 August 2012 (UTC)

“Super-Model,” and “Pin-up Girl”

 * Paragraph 3: unreferenced, add references. Remove external link. Thine   Antique   Pen  12:27, 1 August 2012 (UTC)

Edited entry
I've edited the entire Nesbit entry addressing the constructive comments provided by reviewers: Substituted "Nesbit" for "Evelyn" as appropriate throughout and re-wrote the lead in a summary format representative of the bio as a whole. Feedback welcomed. Betempte (talk) 19:47, 17 August 2012 (UTC)