Talk:Everything I Wanted/GA3

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 08:28, 9 June 2020 (UTC)

I will review this soon, complying with your request! --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:28, 9 June 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead
user:Kyle Peake I looked for almost an hour and couldn't find anything. DarklyShadows (talk) 18:12, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
 * Remove the fact that the cover art was made by Jason Anderson, since that should solely be noted in the body
 * Sure you can't find a source for recording date to write out in the body then add the time period in the recorded parameter here?
 * Remove hlist of the labels and use bullet points instead
 * Target lowercase to Letter case and add a ref somewhere in the body to back this up
 * "The song was written by Eilish" → "It was written by Eilish"
 * "with the latter producing it" → "with the latter handling production"
 * "It was released on" → "The song was released on"
 * Remove the fact that the release was standalone as this does not need to be noted and remove the refs here altogether
 * ❌ --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:13, 12 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Target single to Single (music)
 * Mention what labels the release was through
 * "The song was described as" → "It was described as a"
 * "and indie pop in press reviews" → "and indie pop track"
 * "for which a piano and a downtempo" → "for which a piano and downtempo" with the appropriate links
 * Target minimalist to Minimal music
 * "In the song's lyrics, she talks about him" → "In the lyrics, Eilish talks about him"
 * "Upon its release, "Everything I Wanted" received mainly positive reviews" → ""Everything I Wanted" received mainly positive reviews from music critics" with the target, and add what was praised/commented on, specifically
 * "The song was a commercial success," → "Commercially, the song was also successful,"
 * "debuted atop the charts" → "debuted atop the record charts"
 * "several countries including" → "several countries, including"
 * ""Everything I Wanted" also peaked at" → "The song further peaked at"
 * "most notably, double platinum in Australia and Canada" → "most notably double platinum in both Australia and Canada"
 * "Eilish directed the music video for "Everything I Wanted" which was" → "Eilish directed the accompanying music video, which was"
 * "uploaded onto her" → "uploaded to her"
 * "depicts Eilish and her brother together" → "depicts Eilish and Finneas together"
 * "performed the song several times and was" → "has performed "Everything I Wanted" live several times, with it being"

✅

Background and release

 * "In October, it was reported that Billie Eilish" → "It was reported in October 2019 that Eilish"
 * "In November 2019," → "In November of that year,"
 * Wikilink music video to itself
 * Mention in this sentence that "Xanny" was released earlier in 2019
 * Target Beats by Dre to Beats Electronics
 * "Both siblings started to write" → "Eilish and her sibling Finneas O'Connell, known under his stage name of Finneas, started to write"
 * "in September 2018. It began" → "in September 2018 and it began"
 * "Eilish says that she" → "Eilish said that she"
 * "mentally". O'Connell says he" → "mentally", while Finneas admitted he"
 * The statements you added here are not backed up by the following ref(s), nor is The New York Times mentioned; fix this WP:OR?
 * Target mastered to Mastering (audio)
 * Target mixed to Audio mixing (recorded music)
 * "released through digital download" → "released for digital download and streaming as a single"
 * "was added in the reissue of" → "was added to the reissue of Eilish's debut studio album"
 * "A flexi disc was released for" → "A flexi disc for the song was released via"
 * "in the following 4–6 weeks" → "in the following four to six weeks"

✅

Composition and lyrics

 * The original title info belongs in the previous section instead
 * Now you have done this, I suggest merging the Beats by Dre and cover art sentences together. --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:13, 12 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Target beats per minute to Tempo
 * "According to Variety" → "According to Jem Aswad from Variety"
 * "they say the song features a significant" → "the song features a significant"
 * Target reverb to Reverberation
 * Target beatbox to Beatboxing
 * "of the track is identified" → "of the track has been identified"
 * "features a minimalist production consisting of piano and a downtempo" → "features minimalist production that consists of piano and a downtempo" with the appropriate wikilinks
 * Are you sure that building info from Billboard isn't about the creation, rather than any actual change during the composition?
 * "mentions that the song has" → "mentioned that the song has"
 * "explained that “Everything I Wanted” was" → "explained that "Everything I Wanted" was"
 * "The song also references on how" → "The song also references how"
 * "fame can sometimes become very frustrating" → "fame can sometimes become very frustrating for her"
 * "the song is about how her brother Finneas, who will" → "the song is about how Finneas will"
 * "talk about Eilish's relationship with her brother Finneas" → "talk about the relationship between the two of them"
 * "The track's begins with the singer talking about committing suicide" → "The track begins with the singer talking about her committing suicide"
 * "nobody even caring; "Thought" → "nobody even caring, "Thought"
 * "off the Golden /Nobody cried" → "off the Golden/Nobody cried"
 * Target chorus to Refrain
 * "there for each other; "And" → "there for each other, "And"
 * "Pitchfork states that the song" → "Pitchfork's Dani Blum stated that the song"

✅

Critical response

 * "Upon its release, "Everything I Wanted" received mainly positive reviews." → ""Everything I Wanted" was met with mainly positive reviews from music critics." with the target
 * ""Everything I Wanted" was praised" → "The song was praised"
 * "who called the track a" → "who called it a"
 * "and felt its lyrics are" → "and felt that the lyrics are a"
 * Wikilink Jon Caramanica to himself
 * "that the keyboards both "urgent" → "that the keyboards are "urgent"
 * "elegiac" and described the chorus" → "elegiac", while he described the chorus"
 * ❌ --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:13, 12 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Target Clash to Clash (magazine)
 * "DIY called the track" → "The staff of DIY called the track"
 * "The Los Angeles Times called the song" → "August Brown of the Los Angeles Times called the song"

✅ user: Kyle Peake I have addressed all the issues so far. DarklyShadows (talk) 20:15, 9 June 2020 (UTC)

Commercial performance

 * "Upon the release of "Everything I Wanted", it reached number eight" → "Following the release of "Everything I Wanted", it reached number 8"
 * Target Billboard Hot 100 to Billboard Hot 100
 * ❌ --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:13, 12 June 2020 (UTC)


 * "becoming Eilish's second top ten entry" → "becoming Eilish's second top 10 entry" per MOS:NUM for both
 * ""Everything I Wanted" ascended from number two" → "The song ascended from number two"
 * Remove target on Billboard
 * "on February 2020" → "in February 2020"
 * "It became her third number one hit on that chart" → "It became her third number one on the chart"
 * "In the United Kingdom, the song reached number three" → "On the UK Singles Chart, the song reached number 3"
 * "making it Eilish's third top ten in the country" → "becoming Eilish's third top 10 in the United Kingdom"
 * "within the top ten in countries" → "within the top 10 of countries"
 * [53][54][55] should all be at the end of the sentence solely since it's only three refs
 * "It has been awarded several certifications. It was most notably certified double platinum in Australia[56] and Canada.[57]" → "It has been awarded several certifications; most notably being certified double platinum in Australia and Canada by the Australian Recording Industry Association (ARIA) and Music Canada (MC), respectively.[56][57]"
 * You need to add a ref here for the US certification too. --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:13, 12 June 2020 (UTC)

✅

Background

 * Img needs alt text
 * On the main text, target Finneas to Finneas O'Connell
 * "at each other, smiling, while" → "at each other and smiling, while"
 * "Eilish explains: “My" → "Eilish explained, "My"
 * ❌ --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:13, 12 June 2020 (UTC)


 * "hours and hours on end"." → "hours and hours on end."" since punctuation should be inside quotes for full sentences quoted

✅

Synopsis

 * "“Finneas is my brother" → ""Finneas is my brother"
 * "will be there for each other.”" → "will be there for each other.""
 * "It then shows Eilish driving a car with her brother, Finneas" → "It then goes to Eilish driving a car with Finneas"
 * "Their stares are blank" → "The two's stares are blank"
 * "that she’s driving through a" → "that Eilish is driving through a"
 * "through the desert, past a valley" → "through the desert and past a valley"
 * "and before driving" → "before driving"
 * "As the car is getting swept away by a tide and slowly sinking" → "As the car gets swept away by a tide and slowly sinks"
 * "The video ends in a bittersweet way, as the car continues to sink and flood, the siblings still hold hands together" → "The visual ends in a bittersweet way, with the siblings still holding hands together as the car continues to sink and flood,"
 * "knowing that they'll" → "knowing that they will"

✅

Reception

 * "The video was positively received by music critics." → "The music video was positively received by critics."
 * "Rebecca Alter of Vulture, called" → "Rebecca Alter of Vulture called" with the target fixing too
 * "but that it" → "commented that it"
 * "did “The Long Night”" → "did 'The Long Night'" per MOS:QWQ and fix the target
 * "on Game of Thrones."" → "on Game of Thrones"."
 * "Jordyn Tilchen, praised Eilish for the way" → "Jordyn Tilchen praised Eilish for the way"
 * "with Tilchen saying her" → "with Tilchen saying that her"
 * "Derrick Rossignol pf" → "Derrick Rossignol of"
 * "called the video" → "called the visual"
 * The Michigan Daily are a student newspaper; either remove or replace per WP:RSSM

✅

Live performances and other usage

 * "for the first time on" → "for the first time in December 2019 on"
 * [72][73] should both be solely at the end of the sentence
 * "and in an Apple Live acoustic show" → "and during an Apple Live acoustic show"
 * "Steve Jobs Theatre" → "Steve Jobs Theater" with the appropriate wikilink
 * "in her setlist from" → "on her setlist for the"
 * "acoustic guitar for Blux in" → "acoustic guitar, for Blux, in" with the appropriate wikilink
 * ❌ --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:13, 12 June 2020 (UTC)


 * "In April 2020, Eilish and Finneas" → "In April that year, Eilish and Finneas"
 * Target Verizon to Verizon Communications
 * "covered "Everything I Wanted" for" → "covered the track on"
 * "exclusively on Billboard" → "exclusively for Billboard"
 * "saying Cooper and his band are "slowly building a lush" → "saying Cooper and his band slowly built "a lush"
 * Target organ to Organ (music)
 * "as Cooper "croons as" → "as Cooper was crooning "as"
 * "but he felt drawn to "Eveything I Wanted" and" → "but he felt drawn to the track and"
 * Mention when Georgia's cover was
 * Target electro-pop to Electropop
 * Target orchestral music to Orchestra

✅

Credits and personnel

 * Good

Charts

 * For both subsections, are you sure the Dutch Top 40 is correct to be included?

Weekly charts

 * Target HRT to Hrvatska radiotelevizija
 * Change Tonlist to Plötutíðindi for Iceland, but keep the target to Music of Iceland
 * Russia Airplay (Tophit) → Russia (Tophit)
 * Remove Ukraine per WP:CHARTS

✅

Year-end charts

 * Good apart from my one query

Certifications

 * Good

Release history

 * Format → Format(s)
 * Make sure to center the refs

✅
 * ❌ since multiple dates, formats and more are currently in the wrong tables; fix this. --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:13, 12 June 2020 (UTC)

Final comments and verdict

 * More comments are yet to come, these are the initial ones and you can respond now to them if you want rather than waiting until I finish the review. --Kyle Peake (talk) 15:59, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
 * for a week. --Kyle Peake (talk) 13:02, 10 June 2020 (UTC)
 * I will ✅ this now and made a few changes, but they were only minor things that you forgot to fix. --Kyle Peake (talk) 10:59, 13 June 2020 (UTC)