Talk:Everything You Know Is Wrong

Untitled
I got "mind-boggler" from IMdB. I apologize if I misquoted the album, which I do not own a copy of at present. Perhaps they say both? Richard K. Carson 05:12, 5 September 2005 (UTC)

Hey, I added a small correction to the opening quotes. I'm 98% certain that there is a "That's right!" before "Everything you know is wrong. I can't play the album anymore since my turntable died, but I must have listened to it 5000 times in college, and I can hear the "that's right" in my head.  I also remember that I thought it funny the statement that it was "right" that everything you know is wrong.  Typical Firesign infinite verbal loop. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Synaptidude (talk • contribs) 20:10, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

I'M going to park this text here for a while because I don't have it quite right. It's missing a couple of lines - but I don't want to put it on the man page without it being correct:

Narrator: "What to do if an alien appears!" Drill Sargent: "One!" Narrator: "Drop under the seat of your plane and look away!" Drill Sargent: "Two!" Narrator: Avoid eye contact! Drill Sargent: Three!" Narrator: If there are no eyes, avoid all contact."

Vignette from the "secret" film then is heard:

-sounds of low conversation and clinking of glass, scraping of flatware against plates - as would be heard around a breakfast table.

General: "Um, Honey....and men, I have something awesome to reveal to you!"

Man: "What is it sir?"

Honey: "Yes dear, what is it? Go ahead.".

General: Two flying saucers have just landed.....on my plate."

-background "eating" noises stop completely (as if the table occupants are in shock). A chirping bird, followed by the resumption of the low conversation and eating noises - as if the occupants of the table are just going to ignore what the general just said.

General: "Men! Our greatest fear is realized!  We are under attack by a superior consciousness!"

- more silence and bird chirping.

Man: The...uh.....eggs sir?

General: "Let's just call them, the phenomena" -sounds of urgent murmuring around the table Man: "If I may respectfully submit, I think you've got your phenomena scrambled General".

General: That's right! And they're only the beginning.

General: Alright men! Questions!? Questions !?

Chuck: "Uhhhh....pass the uhh....syrup General?"

General: "That's a good idea Chuck! BUT SYRUP WON'T STOP 'EM!!"

-furtive conversation around table...

Honey: "What about my eggs dear?"

General: "Honey, they're in everybodies eggs."

-Sound of scene fades, Honey crying softly, General comforting her.

Drill Sargent: "Conclusion!" Narrator: "They think he is insane, yet he outranks them. His option: Command!  He seals off the area! Secures the support of local officials, and bombs aliens back to stone age!" — Preceding unsigned comment added by Synaptidude (talk • contribs) 21:53, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

Name of a character
The cover (box) of the videotape has "Reebus Caneebus" - not "Rebus Cannibus" as in the article - and the Firesign web site agrees. Paul 22:20, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

Government training film
OK, I bought the album on CD for my first listen since college (a loooong time ago), so now I have the wording right for the "film". I'm adding it to the page. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Synaptidude (talk • contribs) 08:58, 14 October 2007 (UTC)

I tried putting the film transcript in the main page - but it needs formatting. I'm going to go figure out how to do that before I put it in. But here it is: as exact as I could make it - I left out only a few background sounds. And yes....he really says "mens take your seat", and "susistance" (instead of "assistance").

So here it is, if anyone wants to format it for me (maybe put it in a box?)

-The Transcript (transcribed from the 2001, Laugh.com re-release of the album on CD):

Narrator (Drill Instructor voice): Classified! Ultra-secret! Air Force Generals Only! Ten Hut! At ease mens, take your seat!

General Goatheart: This is General Curtis Goatheart. If you are viewing this film then we are under extraterrestrial attack. Beware! Your brain may no longer be the Boss. If, you are beginning to doubt what I am saying, you are probably hallucinating. Listen Carefully!

{Bell rings}

DI: What to do if an alien appears! One! Goatheart: "Drop under the seat of your plane and look away!" DI: "Two!" Goatheart: Avoid eye contact! DI: Three!" Goatheart: If there are no eyes, avoid all contact."

{Bell}

DI: How to identify alledged sightings! One! Goatheart: Pie plates or as refelctions in the atmosphere Di: Two! Goatheart: Dry Cleaning bags filled with marsh gas, or DI: Three! Goatheart: Mass Insanity.

Bell

DI: How to inform your wife and others under your command!

{the "film" segues into the sounds of low conversation, as around a breakfast table - male falsetto "female" voice and two men are talking about freshening up the coffee and PX requisitions that shouldn't be had, when the sound of flatware clinking on a drinking glass is heard as "general" tries to get everyone's attention.}

General: Honey....uh...Honey......Um, Honey.and...and men.... I have something awesome to reveal to you!"

Chuck: Well go ahead sir

Honey: go ahead

General: Two flying saucers have just landed... on my plate

{uncomfortable silence broken by the sound of a bird singing}

Colonel: Well, Turn away sir and I'll eat them (uncomfortable chuckles from the breakfast companions)

General: Men! Our greatest fear is realized! We are under attack from superior consciousness!

{uncomfortable silence}

Colonel: The eggs sir?

General: They're only the beginning

{Honey and Colonel resume their conversation in an attempt to ignore General - bird sings in background}

General: {tapping on his glass again to regain their attention} All right men! Question? Questions?

Major Chuck: Um,...... sir?

General: Yes Major?

Major Chuck: Uh...pass the uh.........syrup, General?

{a sigh of relief from Honey, relief dashed when General says:}

General: That's a good idea Chuck! But syrup won't stop em!

{Somebody, likely "Honey" drops her cup}

Chuck: But sir.....

Colonel: Uh...sir?

General: Colonel?

Colonel: Are you nuts?

General: {chuckle} That is just exactly what they want you to believe!

Chuck: The, uh eggs sir?

General: Let's just call them the.... phenomona

Colonel: Well if I may respectfully submit sir, I think you've got your phenomena scrambled General

Honey: {laughs at Colonel's quip, then asks:) Well, uh, What about my eggs dear?

General: Honey....... they're in everybody's eggs.

{Honey cries softly, Colonel says "good lord", uncomfortable background converation, and then a segue back to the DI/Narrator and General Goatheart and the martial music}

DI: "Conclusion!" Goatheart: "They think he is insane, yet he outranks them. His option: Command!  DI: One! Goatheart:  He seals off the area! DI: Two! Goatheart:  Secures the cooperation of local officials DI: Three! Goatheart:  obtains expert scientific susistance (sic) DI: Four! Goatheart:  evacuates all government employees, and DI: Five! Goatheart:  bombs aliens back to stone age!"

DI: End of Film!

{sound of film running off reel} —Preceding unsigned comment added by Synaptidude (talk • contribs) 09:16, 14 October 2007 (UTC)


 * Thanks for digging this up; but it's pretty obvious it can't be used in the article because it's copyrighted, and reprinting the entire skit would exceed the amount allowable for fair use. JustinTime55 (talk) 20:12, 30 September 2016 (UTC)