Talk:Excuse Me Mr./GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 07:22, 30 May 2020 (UTC)

Will start on this today, most likely. --Kyle Peake (talk) 07:22, 30 May 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * August 21, 1996 should be 21 August 1996 since this is an English article
 * Yes, but this article is written in American English in which MMMM DD, YYYY is officially used per WP:MOS
 * That is true, but I would recommend changing it to English instead since that is the bands' nationality --Kyle Peake (talk) 04:39, 3 June 2020 (UTC)
 * – No Doubt is an American band, not an English one. Carbrera (talk) 18:40, 3 June 2020 (UTC).
 * Sorry I must have misread something; all date formats etc should be American English. --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:47, 3 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Bullet points are supposed to be used instead of hlists
 * Adjusted.


 * Link the music video on YouTube in the infobox
 * Is this required instead of under "External links"?
 * Yes --Kyle Peake (talk) 04:39, 3 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Identify them as "American rock band" in the lead's first sentence
 * I think it would be incorrect to label the band as "rock" as there is much discussion regarding why type of band No Doubt is. Others have called No Doubt a "ska band" and an "alternative" one. Because of this, I think just to leave it as is would be best.


 * "It was written by" → "The song was written by"
 * Adjusted.


 * "and produced by" → "while produced by"
 * Adjusted.


 * "The song was released as the fourth single from Tragic Kingdom" → "It was released on CD as the fourth single from the album"
 * Not adjusted; I discuss this in detail below


 * "on August 21, 1996" → "on 21 August 1996"
 * Not adjusted per date comment above.


 * ""Excuse Me Mr." has also been included on their" → "The song has also been included on the band's"
 * Adjusted.


 * "Musically, "Excuse Me Mr." is a rock-influenced ska song" → "Musically, the former is a rock-influenced ska track" as rock wikilink should be in the first sentence instead
 * Adjusted.


 * "also created but never released" → "also created, but never released"
 * Adjusted.


 * "was selected as one of the best tracks on Tragic Kingdom, with critics labelling it as a successful breakup song." → "received positive reviews from music critics and was often selected by them as one of the best tracks on Tragic Kingdom, with critics labelling it as a successful breakup track." as a proper overview of the reception is needed
 * Adjusted; I reworded this differently so "critics" would not be used in the same sentence twice too.


 * Remove wikilink to Record chart
 * Adjusted.


 * "and Canada and peaking at" → "and Canada, and peaking at"
 * Adjusted.


 * Name the chart of New Zealand in the lead
 * Adjusted.


 * "directed the music video for “Excuse Me Mr.” during" → "directed the accompanying music video in"
 * Adjusted.


 * "It features two different storylines: the first shows" → "The visual features two different storylines, with the first showing"
 * Adjusted.


 * "crowded with paparazzi while the second" → "crowded with paparazzi, while the second storyline"
 * Adjusted.


 * "No Doubt has performed "Excuse Me Mr." at" → "No Doubt have performed the song for"
 * Adjusted.


 * "while serving as the guest musical act on Saturday Night Live" → "on Saturday Night Live while serving as the guest musical act" since otherwise it sounds like they were guests on the latter tour
 * Adjusted.


 * "and at their" → "and at the band's"
 * Adjusted.

Background and release

 * "while their producer" → "while the song's producer"
 * Adjusted.


 * "and produced by" → "while produced by"
 * Adjusted.


 * Remove wikilinks to No Doubt and Tragic Kingdom
 * Adjusted.


 * Reword the second sentence to mentioning the exact release date of the album, and what position the track was released from on it; something like this.
 * Adjusted.


 * "which was the group's first record" → "which was the band's first record"
 * Adjusted.


 * "the band members" → "the members of No Doubt"
 * Adjusted.


 * "that helped popularize No Doubt" → "that helped popularize the band"
 * Adjusted.


 * "stated that this allowed" → "stated that it allowed"
 * Adjusted.


 * "but the band members" → "but the members"
 * Adjusted.


 * "with their then-producer, Wilder, who wanted the group" → "with their then-producer Wilder, who wanted the band"
 * Adjusted.


 * Wikilink liner notes to itself
 * Adjusted.


 * "No Doubt told" → "The band told"
 * Adjusted.


 * "the album's eventual second single" → "the latter's eventual second single"
 * Adjusted.


 * "The song was first released on August 21, 1996" → "The song was first released as a CD single on 21 August 1996"
 * I think this would be a misleading statement as the CD singles were strictly promotional.
 * Mention it as being promotional at this point, then. --Kyle Peake (talk) 04:39, 3 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Remove the following sentence's wikilink to CD single
 * My comment directly above refers to this suggestion as well.


 * Target promotional CD singles to Promotional recording
 * Adjusted.


 * "in that country" → "across that country"
 * Adjusted.


 * "promotional CD single was also made using the same cover art from" → "promo CD single was also made using the same cover art as"
 * Adjusted; although I do not think abbreviating "promotional" is necessary. The CD release itself uses the world "promotional", not "promo", too.


 * "No Doubt's "Sunday Morning" release" → "No Doubt's "Sunday Morning" (1997)"
 * Adjusted.

Composition and lyrics

 * "The A.V. Club' Partridge described the single as a rock-influenced track" → "Partridge described the track as a rock-influenced song"
 * Adjusted


 * "that helped form No Doubt" → "which helped form the band"
 * Adjusted


 * "and then used "Excuse Me Mr." as an example" → "and cited "Excuse Me Mr." as an example"
 * Adjusted


 * "album review of Tragic Kingdom that "Excuse Me Mr." is" → "review of the album that the track is"
 * Adjusted


 * Remove target to Tempo on beats per minute
 * Removed


 * "The key of the song is in F major with Stefani's" → "The key of the song is set in F major, with Gwen Stefani's"
 * Adjusted


 * "each of the song's two verses" → "each of the two verses"
 * Adjusted


 * "The song's message is the opposite of" → "The message is the opposite of that conveyed within"
 * Adjusted


 * "Stefani sings with an anxious tone" → "Stefani sings in an anxious tone"
 * Adjusted


 * Wikilink Circus music to itself
 * Adjusted


 * "suggest that they are" → "suggest No Doubt are"
 * Adjusted


 * Remove target to Bridge (music) on middle eight
 * Adjusted


 * ": "It's almost" → ", "It's almost"
 * Adjusted


 * Wikilink Noisey to itself as we do that for sub-section redirects
 * There is no article for Noisey though.
 * See Redirect and I have made this minor fix for you


 * "whereas Browne from Entertainment Weekly" → "while Browne from"
 * Adjusted


 * "that the subject of the song's matter" → "that the subject matter of the song"
 * Adjusted

Reception

 * "Several critics described "Excuse Me Mr." as one of the highlights on Tragic Kingdom." → ""Excuse Me Mr." was met with positive reviews from music critics, with several describing it as one of the highlights on Tragic Kingdom."
 * Adjusted


 * Remove wikilink on The A.V. Club
 * Adjusted


 * "reanalyzed Tragic Kingdom" → "reanalyzed it"
 * Adjusted


 * "noted that all three of them" → "noted that all three of the songs"
 * Adjusted


 * "as a banger that" → "as a "banger" that"
 * Adjusted


 * "over twenty years ago; she also selected it" → "over 20 years ago; she also selected the track"
 * Adjusted


 * "With a similar opinion," → "Expressing a similar opinion,"
 * Adjusted


 * Target Observer to The New York Observer
 * Adjusted


 * "called the single" → "called it"
 * Adjusted


 * "she also classified it as" → "she also classified the track as"
 * Adjusted


 * "MTV News's Diblasi was impressed by" → "Diblasi was impressed by"
 * Adjusted


 * "on the parent album" → "on the album" since we already know what album you are referencing
 * Adjusted


 * "due to its ability" → "because of its ability"
 * Adjusted


 * "In the United States" → "In the US"
 * Adjusted


 * "but it did reach the" → "though did reach the"
 * Adjusted


 * "where it debuted at" → "with the track debuting at"
 * Adjusted


 * "27; similarly, it became" → "27. Similarly, it became" since the sentence currently needs splitting
 * Adjusted


 * "During its ninth week within the rankings, it reached" → "During its 9th week within the rankings, the track reached" as MOS:NUM suggests using the same numbering for comparative values like this to 12
 * Adjusted


 * "on March 31, 1997" → "on 31 March 1997"
 * We discussed this above.


 * "in United States and Canada" → "in the United States and Canada"
 * Adjusted


 * "On May 25, 1997," → "On 25 May 1997,"
 * We also discussed this above.


 * Name the New Zealand chart properly with the appropriate wikilink/target
 * Adjusted


 * "Four weeks later it reached its peak at number 11, becoming the fourth top 40" → "The track ultimately peaked at number 11, becoming the 4th top 40"
 * Adjusted


 * "from the parent album" → "from the album"
 * Adjusted

Music video

 * Mention the release date in the first sentence
 * Added


 * "It serves as the fourth" → "It served as the fourth"
 * Adjusted


 * "Filming for the video was" → "Filming for the visual had been" to avoid repetitive wording
 * Adjusted


 * "The video opens with No Doubt" → "The video opens with the band"
 * Adjusted


 * "other members of the band, Stefani" → "other members, Stefani"
 * Adjusted


 * "resorting to pushing the other members" → "with her resorting to pushing them"
 * Adjusted


 * "dance provocatively as the camera" → "dance provocatively, as the camera"
 * Adjusted


 * "Before the song's second verse" → "Before the song's second verse begins"
 * Adjusted


 * "the hopes that nearby" → "the hopes that nearby people" to specify they are all nearby
 * Adjusted


 * "fail to do so, so Stefani" → "fail to do so and Stefani"
 * Adjusted


 * "as a group of paparazzi" → "while a group of paparazzi"
 * Adjusted


 * "in front of the photographers" → "in front of the paparazzi"
 * Adjusted


 * "The video was selected for" → "The clip was selected for"
 * Adjusted


 * "within the top ten on the" → "within the top 10 on the"
 * Adjusted


 * "on No Doubt's compilation" → "on No Doubt's compilation DVD"
 * Adjusted


 * Target CD to Compact disc on the first mention in this section since all of other mentions of "CD" have been appropriate for different targets
 * Adjusted

Live performances

 * "as the second song of" → "as the second song on"
 * Adjusted


 * "at the July 1, 1997 show" → "at their 1 July 1997 show"
 * Not adjusted.


 * "released in No Doubt's first live album" → "released on the band's first live album"
 * Adjusted


 * "On the December 7, 1996" → "On the 7 December 1996"
 * Not adjusted.


 * Change Saturday Night Live to Saturday Night Live (SNL) with the same target, though
 * I don't think its necessary to group its colloquial name in with this. I don't refer back to the show again.


 * "their appearance, they performed both their previous single" → "their appearances, they both performed their previous single,"
 * Adjusted


 * "and "Excuse Me Mr."." → "and "Excuse Me Mr.", respectively."
 * Adjusted


 * "The song was performed during" → "The song was performed for"
 * Adjusted


 * "A majority of the songs" → "A majority of the tracks"
 * Adjusted


 * "but when No Doubt returned with songs" → "but when the band returned with tracks"
 * Adjusted


 * "like "Excuse Me Mr." and "Happy Now?"," → "like the song and "Happy Now?","
 * Adjusted


 * Wikilink Greg Kot to himself
 * Adjusted


 * "the performance and Kot compared" → "the performance, and Kot compared"
 * Adjusted


 * "For the 2002" → "For No Doubt's 2002"
 * Adjusted


 * ""Excuse Me Mr." was performed during" → "the song was performed during"
 * Adjusted


 * "in between singing" → "in between singing"
 * What did you want me to change here?
 * Sorry, this was a typo on my part but I found the missing word and added it --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:58, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * "Their performance of" → "The band's performance of"
 * Adjusted


 * "at the November 22–23 and 29, 2002" → "for the 22–23 and 29 November 2002"
 * Not adjusted per above.


 * "on the group's second live album" → "on their second live album"
 * Adjusted


 * "their first official shows since 2004" → "their first official show since 2004"
 * Adjusted


 * Remove wikilink on Rolling Stone
 * Adjusted


 * Merge the third para with the second one
 * Adjusted


 * "during the first day" → "during the beginning day"
 * Adjusted – I added the information between "During" and "English Beat" to this paragraph.

Track listing

 * Retitle to Track listings
 * Adjusted


 * Sure these shouldn't be laid out in the same manner as "Amar pelos dois", for example?
 * In my experience, I've seen both examples. Typically I see the example you provided where there are more releases than just a few. GA articles like Just a Girl and Spiderwebs use what you stated, whereas others like Make Me Like You and Bitch I'm Madonna use the current one I have displayed. Carbrera (talk) 19:05, 3 June 2020 (UTC)

Credits and personnel

 * Please see |1 and re-write everything accordingly.
 * Adjusted


 * Use so there is the right space between credits and personnel.
 * Adjusted

Charts

 * Good

Final comments and verdict

 * for a week until the issues arisen are fixed. --Kyle Peake (talk) 10:00, 30 May 2020 (UTC)
 * – could I have an extra day or two to address this review? I've been a bit busy in my personal life and it would sure be appreciated. Carbrera (talk) 16:55, 6 June 2020 (UTC).
 * Yeah I am willing to allow it not 100% responded if things have obstructed you. --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:23, 7 June 2020 (UTC)
 * – Thanks for your cooperation. I have recently conpleted addressing your comments and I have left numerous responses for you above. Let me know if there is anything else I can do, Carbrera (talk) 03:42, 11 June 2020 (UTC).
 * Did some copyediting towards the end but will now give this a ✅! --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:58, 11 June 2020 (UTC)