Talk:Experimental pop/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 22:54, 31 October 2016 (UTC) →

Lead

 * Originating in the 1950s → Something can originate from a place or country, but not from a year
 * was welcomed by young audiences → was positively received

Characteristics

 * Other authors[who?] → you can remove the 'who?'-tag, as it suffices here
 * artists: they may → artists—they may
 * pop settings combines → pop setting combine
 * celebrating sonic juxtapositions → is this a quote?; you can at least put the last two words in ""

History

 * Grubb says that → Grubbs further explains that
 * in the mid 1960s was Welsh → in the mid 1960s were Welsh
 * studio, as composer Robert Ashley is quoted in 1966: "We → studio. Regarding to this, composer Robert Ashley is quoted in 1966; "We
 * happen. ... The → happen. [...] The
 * magic. ... We → magic. [...] We
 * Set comma after "Smiley Smile (1967)"
 * the album: "embrace[d] → remove ":"
 * was welcomed by young audiences → was positively received by young audiences
 * which he wrote "seemed → which he described as "[seeming]
 * which would be filled by → which would be later filled by
 * to create an album, Present Tense → to create their debut studio album, Present Tense
 * named an "experimental pop band" → referred to as an "experimental pop band"


 * Image > perform → performing
 * running throughout the UK → spell UK out an unlink it
 * of musician ex-Roxy Music member → of ex-Roxy Music member musician + wikilink the band here and not later
 * era's "most successful" experimental pop music → someone can't be music; change to "music" to "artists"
 * the key to his success → the key to their success
 * Pickard of the publication → "the" is overfluous
 * lucidity ... the → lucidity [...] the
 * session musicians, in addition → remove comma
 * He called it "a rock → He further called it "a rock
 * with showcasing an experimental → with showcasing an experimental
 * particularly that of artists such as → particularly released by artists such as
 * of the Animal Collective album → of Animal Collective's album
 * Collective ... it's necessary ... → Collective [...] it's necessary [...]

Outcome

 * Great article! Put this for 7 days in order to allow edits. Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 22:42, 2 November 2016 (UTC)

Done, thanks for all the suggestions.--Ilovetopaint (talk) 15:39, 5 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Gladly passing! Cartoon network freak (talk) 15:50, 5 November 2016 (UTC)