Talk:Extreme Rules (2012)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Batard0 (talk · contribs) 13:54, 16 November 2012 (UTC)

I'll take this one on. At first glance, it looks like it may need substantial work on the prose, but otherwise is in pretty good shape. I'll begin with a thorough prose review, which may be followed by broader comments on the article. --Batard0 (talk) 13:54, 16 November 2012 (UTC)

Lead


 * "one pre-show match which was streamed on YouTube" : remove "which", which is unnecessary here.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 02:31, 17 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "It also featured" : remove "also", which is also unnecessary.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 02:31, 17 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "first return match in WWE since" : I recommend "first WWE match since" or "return to the WWE in his first match since"
 * changed to "first WWE match since WrestleMania XX in 2004." Starship.paint (talk) 02:31, 17 November 2012 (UTC)


 * The sentence, "The concept of Extreme Rules is that the event would feature various matches with hardcore-based stipulations." is somewhat convoluted. I'd suggest: "Extreme Rules featured numerous matches with hardcore-based variations." ("stipulations" is certainly too arcane)
 * IIRC, "stipulation" is part of pro wrestling lingo regarding matches, while "variation" is not. Or would you prefer "Extreme Rules featured numerous hardcore-based matches"? Starship.paint (talk) 02:31, 17 November 2012 (UTC)


 * The next sentence is also a bit baggy. Might try: "There were three main events: John Cena defeated Brock Lesnar in an Extreme Rules match, CM Punk defeated Chris Jericho in a Chicago Street Fight to retain the WWE Championship, and Sheamus defeated Daniel Bryan in a 2-out-of-3 falls match to retain the World Heavyweight Championship."
 * I could do that, but wouldn't that seem a bit repetitive? I added the variations of 'defeated' to 'spice up' the article and give it some 'style'. Starship.paint (talk) 02:31, 17 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "Overall, the PPV received excellent reviews, with all three main events receiving praise from critics and fans alike." has some problems. See, for example, WP:PLUSING. I'd suggest something like: "All three main events received received positive reviews from critics and fans."
 * changed to "Overall, the PPV received excellent reviews and all three main events received praise from critics and fans alike." Starship.paint (talk) 02:31, 17 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "up 25.8% from last year's event of 209,000" --> "up 28% from the 209,000 buys for the previous year's event" ("last year's" is problematic; it'll soon be 2013)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 02:31, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

Background and concept


 * "involved different wrestlers" --> remove "different," as it's clear in any event that they were different wrestlers
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 12:43, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

* "which were played out" --> remove "which were" (more concise, doesn't alter the meaning)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 12:43, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

Storylines
 * "dubbed once in a lifetime in addition to being the most important match in Cena's career" : it's not clear whether the match was a once-in-a-lifetime match (i.e. it was a good match) or the opportunity to face The Rock was once-in-a-lifetime. Could we clarify this?

* "After concluding his statement, Cena asked for the Rock" --> "Cena then asked for The Rock" (more concise)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 12:43, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

* "Instead, Brock Lesnar made his WWE return after being away since 2004." --> this could be a little clearer; is it "Instead, Brock Lesnar came into the ring, making his WWE appearance since 2004."?
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 12:43, 17 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "On April 16, the Extreme Rules stipulation was added to the match" --> change "stipulation" to something else, for accessibility. Best to stay away from jargon, as not everybody reading this is going to be fluent in wrestling terminology.

* "their respective title" should be titles (plural)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 12:43, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

* "win the championship at the event" : "at the event" isn't necessary here (WrestleMania is referenced at the end of the previous sentence, and it's clear which event it was)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 12:43, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

* "Bryan used his rematch clause as ex-champion" : could we get a little bit of background on the rematch clause? Is that something all wrestlers get, or is it specific to certain title winners?


 * I'm not following the meaning of this sentence: "The stipulation was due to Bryan wanting to prevent Sheamus from scoring another quick victory"

* "Jericho announced that he will face Punk" should be "would face" (past conditional)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 12:43, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

* "Another rivalry heading into Extreme Rules is" should be "was" since this is in the past.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 12:43, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

* "Kane now viewed this event as a sign of weakness" -- not clear on whether Kane viewed the handshake as a sign of his own weakness or whether he viewed what happened at the event as a sign of weakness (ambiguity of "event" here)
 * settled with "viewed the handshake as a sign of weakness". Starship.paint (talk) 12:43, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

* "On April 23, it was announced that the fifth match for the event is a rematch" could be rephrased to "On April 23, the fifth match for the event was announced, a rematch ..."
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 12:43, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

* "Also on April 23" --> "Later the same day" and combine this sentence with the previous one in a single paragraph, given that they discuss happenings on the same day relating to the same event.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 12:43, 17 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "On April 26, it was announced that Nikki Bella would be defending her WWE Divas Championship" --> "WWE announced on April 26 that Nikki Bella would defend her WWE Divas Championship against Beth Phoenix after she defeated Phoenix on Monday Night Raw three days earlier" is better.

* "Notably, Phoenix" --> "Phoenix, however,"
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 12:43, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

* "who made her return since the 13 May 2011 episode of SmackDown" -> "who made her first WWE appearance since the 13 May 2011 episode of SmackDown"
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 12:43, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

More to come -- I'm going through the whole article and will strike issues that have been addressed; when finished, I'll look at the more detailed responses.--Batard0 (talk) 06:19, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

Pre-show

* "The pre-show involved The Miz challenging Santino Marella in a singles match for the WWE United States Championship" --> "The Miz challenged Santino Marella in a singles match for the WWE United States Championship in the pre-show."
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

* "a year ago" --> "the year before"
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "After the match, the stipulation" --> "After the match, the format"?

* "was determined during the pre-show by a wheel spin" : remove "during the pre-show" (this section is about the pre-show, so it should be evident)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

Preliminary matches

* "The first match involved Randy Orton defeating Kane in a Falls Count Anywhere match" --> "In the first face-off of Extreme Rules, Randy Orton defeated Kane in a Falls Count Anywhere match."
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

* "The second match on the show involved Brodus Clay defeating Dolph Ziggler in a standard match" --> "Brodus Clay defeated Dolph Ziggler in the show's second match." (no need to say it was standard, as that'll be the presumption)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

* "It was not enough as Clay was mounted a comeback with a huge headbutt flooring an onrushing Ziggler, then Clay delivered a running splash for the pinfall victory" --> "Clay then mounted a comeback; his headbutt floored an onrushing Ziggler, and he delivered a running splash for the pinfall victory"
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

* "The third match on the show involved Big Show unsuccessfully defending his WWE Intercontinental Championship against Cody Rhodes in a Tables match." : Suggest "In the show's third match, Big Show unsuccessfully defended his WWE Intercontinental Championship against Cody Rhodes in a Tables match."
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

* "Early on, Big Show began to dismantle Rhodes" --> "Big Show had the upper hand early on" for clarity.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

* "However, Big Show easily re-established the advantage with superior size and strength. Later, as Big Show attempted to re-enter the ring from the outside, Rhodes dropkicked his leg." --> "Big Show then re-established the advantage with superior size and strength, but Rhodes later dropkicked his leg as he attempted to re-enter the ring from the outside." for clarity.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

* There's a lot of passive voice in the final para of the section. I suggest rephrasing it as follows to avoid this: "During a backstage segment after the second main event, Beth Phoenix was declared not medically fit to wrestle, and Nikki Bella took her place to defend the WWE Divas Championship in the seventh match on the show against a mystery opponent. The mystery opponent was revealed as Layla, who managed to counter Bella's Twin Magic switcheroo to score the pinfall victory with a neckbreaker"
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

Main event matches

* "the World Heavyweight Championship, where Sheamus defended" --> "the World Heavyweight Championship in which Sheamus defended"
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

* "However, Bryan then began to target Sheamus' left arm and shoulder with a hammerlock, then he repeatedly went for the "Yes!" Lock (omoplata crossface), although Sheamus was able to shake him off." : remove "However", as it's not necessary. Also we can say "and repeatedly went for" instead of "then he repeatedly went for" (this repeats "then")
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

* "Then, Bryan sent Sheamus" --> "Bryan then sent Sheamus"
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

* "while Sheamus' was in the ropes" : no apostrophe needed after "Sheamus" here.
 * Hmm, I changed it to "Bryan repeatedly kicked Sheamus' left arm while it was in the ropes" with "it" being the arm. Is that okay? Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

* "refused to stop at the referee's five count, so the referee disqualified Bryan and awarded the first fall to Sheamus." --> "refused to stop at the referee's five count. The referee disqualified Bryan and awarded the first fall to Sheamus." (two sentences here is better)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

* "A smiling Bryan's disqualification was confirmed as intentional as he immediately rushed to put the "Yes!" Lock on Sheamus, targeting the injured arm as soon the match was restarted." I'm a bit confused by this sentence. Are we saying Bryan intentionally disqualified himself in order to hurt Sheamus more? If that's the case, I'd suggest something like "Bryan, who intentionally disqualified himself to hurt Sheamus, immediately rushed to put the "Yes!" lock ... " etc.
 * done. You're right, so I made the necessary change. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

* " so each wrestler won one fall apiece" can be removed; we've just been told about the DQ and Bryan's win on the second fall.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "Bryan orchestrated dueling "Yes!" and "No!"" : Should this be "Bryan drew dueling "Yes!" and "No!" chants"? I'm not sure "orchestrated" is the right word here.
 * Erm, Bryan started chanting "Yes!", leading to some of the crowd chanting with him and some of the crowd chanting "No!" against him. So I guess he did orchestrate the chants? Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* "Sheamus was slow to cover Bryan, so Bryan kicked out at two" : suggest replacing "so" with "and".
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* "Bryan then peppered Sheamus with kicks and a kick" : need a comma after "kicks".
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "A fired up Sheamus" --> Suggest removing "A fired up" for encyclopedic tone.
 * Is there any way to rephrase this? Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* Put a period after "win 2 falls to 1" and then start a new sentence: "With the victory, Sheamus retained his World Heavyweight Championship." (flows more smoothly this way)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* "a Chicago Street Fight for the WWE Championship, where CM Punk" --> "a Chicago Street Fight for the WWE Championship in which CM Punk"
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* Period after "Jericho gained the edge and taunted Punk and his family." Then new sentence: "This earned Jericho a slap from Punk's sister at ringside."
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)


 * Not sure I understand: "slamming Jericho through the lid of the announce table." Is this the announcers' table? And it has to be the top, not the lid, right?
 * There was a lid on the announce table which was somehow removed on the announce table. Punk slammed Jericho onto the lid (not the table), which broke. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* Period after: "managed to hit his own finisher on Punk, the Codebreaker." and then "Jericho then locked Punk in his finishing submission, the Walls of Jericho." (sentence was too long)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)


 * Would it be possible to condense some of the description into a more brief summary of events in the second main event, per summary style? It feels just a little too intricately detailed -- perhaps a chain of events somewhere could be replaced with something like "after a back-and-forth in which each wrestler put the other in a submission hold, etc. etc." What we need here is the highlights, I think, the main turning points in the match instead of every detail. The details are all good and correct, but we don't have to repeat all of them.
 * I understand that this main event is very detailed, but personally I feel that I have condensed the earlier portion of the match, and only started giving a detailed "replay" once they started hitting finishing moves (starting with Jericho's codebreaker). I wouldn't mind removing the first Punk diving elbow drop as it isn't exactly a finisher, but anything after that IMO is part of the climax of the match. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

More to come...


 * I'm not entirely clear on the meaning of: "Punk showed resiliency in his struggle to reach the ropes, but since there were no rope breaks in a Street Fight, Punk reached under the ring to obtain a fire extinguisher and sprayed it in Jericho's face to break the hold, blinding Jericho." What's a rope break? Are we saying Punk struggled to the edge of the ring and reached underneath its skirt to grab a fire extinguisher, spraying it in Jericho's face and blinding him to break the hold? We might just say that. Was it clear that Punk was trying to reach the ropes for a rope break (not sure what it is, but...) and not to grab the extinguisher?

* The following sentence is a little confusing -- I think it'll read more clearly if we break it up a bit: "Next, in the high-spot of the match, Punk jumped off the top rope with a diving elbow drop onto Jericho, who was at ringside on the Spanish announcers' table, sending both of them through the table." to maybe: "Punk then jumped off the top rope with a diving elbow drop onto Jericho, who was at ringside on the Spanish announcers' table. The blow sent both men through the table."
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* "When that did not score Punk a pinfall victory, Punk locked in his finishing submission, the Anaconda Vise, but Jericho broke it by hitting Punk with a kendo stick." : Suggest: "That did not give Punk a pinfall victory, however, and he locked Jericho in the Anaconda Vise, his finishing submission. Jericho broke it by hitting Punk with a kendo stick." (similar issues with length of sentence, better as two)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "Punk then grabbed a chair, but Jericho nailed Punk with a Codebreaker into the chair." : I'm not clear on this sequence -- are we saying Punk grabbed a chair and prepared to hit Jericho with it? Or was he doing something else with the chair?
 * Yes, Punk was about to attack Jericho with the chair, but Jericho countered. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* "an exposed turnbuckle which Jericho himself had exposed" --> "that" instead of "which" here.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* "Punk finished up" --> "Punk finished" suffices here.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* In "They started the match with Lesnar quickly causing Cena to bleed with a vicious elbow strike to Cena's head after a double leg takedown." I'd suggest (for clarity) a rephrase to something like "The match started with Lesnar causing Cena to bleed with a vicious elbow to his head after a double leg takedown."
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* "Lesnar continued to dominate the match with his hard hitting offense, delivering punches, clotheslines and knee strikes to Cena, while the match had to be paused twice while a medic attended to Cena to clean up the blood." I'd suggest: "Lesnar continued to dominate the match, delivering punches, clotheslines and knee strikes to Cena; the match had to be paused twice while a medic attended to Cena to clean up the blood." The "hard hitting offense" isn't necessary here because you're showing that by talking about the punches, clotheslines and knee strikes.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* In "Then, Cena desperately went for his finishing move, the Attitude Adjustment, but Lesnar countered into his own finishing move, the F-5. " We don't need "Then" at the beginning, I think, since at this point in the narrative it's going to be clear we're talking about what happened next.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* "However, while throwing Cena to the mat, Lesnar inadvertently caused Cena to hit and knock out the referee, so by the time another referee got to the ring to make the count, Cena was able to kick out at two." : suggest a rephrase to "While throwing Cena to the mat, however, Lesnar inadvertently caused Cena to hit and knock out the referee. By the time another referee got to the ring to make the count, Cena was able to kick out at two." This is for clarity (breaking up a long sentence)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* "Lesnar then brought the ring steps into the ring and slapped on a kimura lock on Cena while on the steps, but Cena eventually lifted and slammed Lesnar to break the hold." : Here we have some repetition of "on" in the first part. I'd suggest "Lesnar then brought the ring steps into the ring and put a kimura lock on Cena while on the steps. Cena lifted and slammed Lesnar to break the hold." (again breaking up a long sentence)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* "After Lesnar avoided a Cena diving leg drop bulldog, Lesnar then charged and leapt off the ring steps and over the top rope onto Cena, sending both men to the floor." --> "After Lesnar avoided a Cena diving leg drop bulldog, Lesnar charged and leapt off the ring steps and over the top rope onto Cena, sending both men to the floor." (just removes "then" where it isn't necessary)
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* "hitting Lesnar in the head with the metal chain that he brought to the match" -- I'd suggest saying "a metal chain" instead of "the metal chain," since the use of "the" implies that the chain was mentioned previously.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "Cena then fired up, delivered an Attitude Adjustment to Lesnar onto the ring steps and pinned him." Recommend removing "fired up," changing to: "Cena then delivered an Attitude Adjustment to Lesnar onto the ring steps and pinned him."

Reception

* "The official buy total for the 2012 Extreme Rules event was 263,000 buys, up from 209,000 buys for the 2011 event and 182,000 buys for the 2010 event" -- here we don't need to repeat "buys" every time. We can say "The official buy total for the 2012 Extreme Rules event was 263,000, up from 209,000 for the 2011 event and 182,000 for the 2010 event"
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* Recommend merging the para beginning with "James Caldwell" into the previous one, as both are critics for the same publication.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* "The Baltimore Sun summarised" --> "summarized" unless we're using British English.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* "whilst" -- also should be "while" unless we're using British English (is that the case here? It's an American event, so I assumed we were in American English, though I could be wrong)
 * Not sure which English to use, but made the change. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* The Reception section is generally quite good. Well done.
 * Thank you! :) Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

Aftermath


 * More to come...almost there.--Batard0 (talk) 17:45, 20 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "On the whole, Extreme Rules saw the culmination of most of the feuds" --> "Extreme Rules saw the culmination of most of its feuds" or "Most of the feuds wrestlers at Extreme Rules were involved in ended at the event." Or something like this. "On the whole" isn't necessary at the beginning of the sentence. Also, is there a source for this para?
 * Er, there isn't an explicit source for the paragraph. It's sort of a intro/conclusion based on the later paragraphs which did have sources to prove that the feuds ended. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)


 * In the para starting "Immediately after Extreme Rules on the April 30 episode of Raw, WWE's Chief Operating Officer Triple H refused to give in to Brock Lesnar's unreasonable contract demands" I'm having trouble understanding how this is the aftermath of Extreme Rules except for the fact that it happened on the next episode of Raw...was there anything here that was lingering from Extreme Rules, or was this the beginning of a new plot? If it's the latter, I'd suggest perhaps it isn't really part of the aftermath of Extreme Rules...I could be wrong, though.
 * It's a completely new plot, involving Lesnar. I thought I had to mention what Lesnar did after ER, even if it wasn't with Cena any more. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* "The match stipulation was later determined to be that if Laurinaitis lost" : Could we say something like "The wrestlers later agreed that as a condition of the match, if Laurinaitis lost..."?
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

* Wikilink earlier instance of Over the Limit; can remove the subsequent one in this para.
 * done. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)


 * That's about it for the prose; address these and I'll start going back through; we can discuss any areas where there might be disagreement, and I'm sure can come to a resolution. --Batard0 (talk) 17:55, 20 November 2012 (UTC)

Outstanding prose issues

I'm putting these in a new section (this is simply copied from the above) for the sake of organization. Let's sort these out and it should be just about ready:


 * The sentence, "The concept of Extreme Rules is that the event would feature various matches with hardcore-based stipulations." is somewhat convoluted. I'd suggest: "Extreme Rules featured numerous matches with hardcore-based variations." ("stipulations" is certainly too arcane)
 * IIRC, "stipulation" is part of pro wrestling lingo regarding matches, while "variation" is not. Or would you prefer "Extreme Rules featured numerous hardcore-based matches"? Starship.paint (talk) 02:31, 17 November 2012 (UTC)
 * "numerous hardcore-based matches" would be fine, I think. The thrust here is to avoid using "stipulations", and this is a fine solution. --Batard0 (talk) 03:36, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * solved. Starship.paint (talk) 06:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)


 * The next sentence is also a bit baggy. Might try: "There were three main events: John Cena defeated Brock Lesnar in an Extreme Rules match, CM Punk defeated Chris Jericho in a Chicago Street Fight to retain the WWE Championship, and Sheamus defeated Daniel Bryan in a 2-out-of-3 falls match to retain the World Heavyweight Championship."
 * I could do that, but wouldn't that seem a bit repetitive? I added the variations of 'defeated' to 'spice up' the article and give it some 'style'. Starship.paint (talk) 02:31, 17 November 2012 (UTC)
 * You can repeat "defeated" as many times as needed. Readers won't notice it at all. In fact, it's a lot better, because people will understand what you're trying to get across without having to pay much attention to the wording. They'll get that you're listing a bunch of "X defeated Y" scenarios and they'll grasp what happened more easily. Using synonyms forces people to process new words when we're actually saying the same thing. It's an admirable instinct, I think, to spice things up, but especially in the context of an encyclopedia, we don't need to be too worried about it. --Batard0 (talk) 03:36, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * very well, made the adjustments. Starship.paint (talk) 06:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)

* "Overall, the PPV received excellent reviews, with all three main events receiving praise from critics and fans alike." has some problems. See, for example, WP:PLUSING. I'd suggest something like: "All three main events received received positive reviews from critics and fans."
 * changed to "Overall, the PPV received excellent reviews and all three main events received praise from critics and fans alike." Starship.paint (talk) 02:31, 17 November 2012 (UTC)
 * This is better, but I'd also suggest moderating "excellent" with "strong" or "positive" or something like it, because "excellent" makes it sound a little bit like we're cheerleading, which brings up some WP:NPOV issues. It's not too big a deal; I know the reviews were very positive. But I think it's best to make a change for the sake of tone. Also I don't think we need "alike" at the end, for the sake of conciseness. Seems to me the sentence means the same thing with or without it. --Batard0 (talk) 03:36, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * I think the reviews are a tier above "positive", which brings to mind just above 50%. If you would like to tone it down a bit, is "very positive" acceptable? Otherwise I would settle for "strong". Starship.paint (talk) 06:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Could we say "universally positive reviews" or "received high praise from critics"? --Batard0 (talk) 09:55, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * I'd take both. "The pay-per-view received universally positive reviews and all three main events received high praise from both critics and fans." Starship.paint (talk) 12:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Ok, that's fine, although it's a little repetitive. Sometimes people will use a quote from a single reviewer in these situations. Just to use an example, for Red Dead Redemption, one of the most critically praised console games of all time, we have "Upon its release, Red Dead Redemption was met with universal critical acclaim, averaging 95% on both review aggregate websites Metacritic and GameRankings, making it one of the highest-rated video games for both the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 on both websites" followed by some quotes from a reviewer. This sort of thing works well, I think -- it's not too over-the-top, and it shows what critics thought instead of simply telling us it was acclaimed. I'll consider this issue resolved because I don't want to keep harping on it, but something along these lines might be worth considering; often when we try too hard to say something was well-received without backing it up immediately, readers get the impression that the opposite is the case because it looks unsubstantiated (even though it's not). --Batard0 (talk) 13:15, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * I'll leave it as it is now, if I think of something better I will raise it up. Starship.paint (talk) 13:37, 23 November 2012 (UTC)

* "On April 16, the Extreme Rules stipulation was added to the match" --> change "stipulation" to something else, for accessibility. Best to stay away from jargon, as not everybody reading this is going to be fluent in wrestling terminology.
 * I think these instances of "stipulation" should be changed to something else, for clarity. At minimum, we should have a definition of "stipulation" in the article text, but I think rephrasing would be preferable. --Batard0 (talk) 03:36, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * "On April 16, the match was made into an Extreme Rules match." Starship.paint (talk) 06:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * I've been reading some of the sources, and I think I'm beginning to get what's going on here. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems a "match" is a basic match where you win by pinning your opponent or if your opponent is disqualified for some reason. A "stipulation" is a set of additional rules on top of the basic match rules, which may even supersede the basic match rules. If this is the case, couldn't we say, "On April 16, the WWE announced that the match would be a hardcore-based variation in which the wrestlers could not be disqualified or lose for staying outside of the ring beyond the normal time limit."? --Batard0 (talk) 10:12, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * May I suggest "On April 16, the WWE announced that the match would be contested under Extreme Rules, where the wrestlers could not be disqualified or lose for staying outside of the ring beyond the normal time limit." Starship.paint (talk) 12:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Sounds good to me. --Batard0 (talk) 13:16, 23 November 2012 (UTC)

* I'm not following the meaning of this sentence: "The stipulation was due to Bryan wanting to prevent Sheamus from scoring another quick victory"
 * Another instance of the same. --Batard0 (talk) 03:36, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * OK, I'm not sure if you understand the sentence, but let me explain: the previous encounter between Sheamus and Bryan resulted in Bryan losing in 18 seconds. Bryan called this loss a "fluke" and thus wanted a 2/3 falls match to prevent Sheamus in winning the match quickly and/or "fluky". Starship.paint (talk) 06:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Ah ha. I see. In this case, couldn't we say, "Bryan chose the multiple-falls format to prevent Sheamus from scoring another quick victory."? --Batard0 (talk) 10:16, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Gotcha. Starship.paint (talk) 12:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "On April 26, it was announced that Nikki Bella would be defending her WWE Divas Championship" --> "WWE announced on April 26 that Nikki Bella would defend her WWE Divas Championship against Beth Phoenix after she defeated Phoenix on Monday Night Raw three days earlier" is better.
 * This is an attempt to change the sentence from the passive into the (preferred) active voice. --Batard0 (talk) 03:36, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * solved. Starship.paint (talk) 06:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "After the match, the stipulation" --> "After the match, the format"?
 * Same stipulation thing.--Batard0 (talk) 03:36, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * solved. Starship.paint (talk) 06:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "dubbed once in a lifetime in addition to being the most important match in Cena's career" : it's not clear whether the match was a once-in-a-lifetime match (i.e. it was a good match) or the opportunity to face The Rock was once-in-a-lifetime. Could we clarify this?
 * It's more of the latter option you described. Background is that Cena and Rock are the "faces" of different "eras" in the past and present time period of WWE. So a match between them could/should/would only happen "once in a lifetime". Starship.paint (talk) 06:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Ok, good deal. In this case, could we say: "which was dubbed a once-in-a-lifetime match and the most important battle of Cena's career"? I think this reads more clearly. At minimum, we certainly need to hyphenate once-in-a-lifetime, because it's being used as a compound adjective here. --Batard0 (talk) 10:19, 23 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "On April 16, the Extreme Rules stipulation was added to the match" --> change "stipulation" to something else, for accessibility. Best to stay away from jargon, as not everybody reading this is going to be fluent in wrestling terminology.
 * Stipulation again. --Batard0 (talk) 03:36, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * solved. Starship.paint (talk) 06:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "Bryan orchestrated dueling "Yes!" and "No!"" : Should this be "Bryan drew dueling "Yes!" and "No!" chants"? I'm not sure "orchestrated" is the right word here.
 * Erm, Bryan started chanting "Yes!", leading to some of the crowd chanting with him and some of the crowd chanting "No!" against him. So I guess he did orchestrate the chants? Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Ah, I see. In this case, we could perhaps describe what happened more clearly. Could we say something like "Bryan started shouting "Yes!", prompting his fans to chant with him and his detractors in the crowd to yell "No!".?
 * Solved Starship.paint (talk) 06:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "A fired up Sheamus" --> Suggest removing "A fired up" for encyclopedic tone.
 * Is there any way to rephrase this? Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Sure. Any suggestions? I think it would read as more encyclopedic if we said "Sheamus, fired up from etc. etc., did XYZ"
 * Is the following OK? "Sheamus fired up and finished Bryan off..." Starship.paint (talk) 06:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Hmm...I'm not sure what "fired up" means in this context. Are we saying Sheamus got fired up? I'll look back at it and see if I can come up with some other suggestions. --Batard0 (talk) 09:59, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * I looked at it again, and I still don't quite get what "fired up" means -- i.e. "so-and-so fired up and won the match". Is "fired up" a specific action or an attitude? I would be fine with something like "Reenergized, Sheamus finished Bryan off with a Brogue Kick" if that's what we're trying to say. "Fired up" in its natural sense feels a little unencyclopedic. Unfortunately, this has to be a little dry because it has to be neutral under the WP:NPOV policy. --Batard0 (talk) 10:28, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * While "re-energizing" is part of "firing up", it doesn't have the complete essence. "Making a comeback" is also some part of "firing up". It also has something to do with playing to the audience. Video of Cena firing up: v=k1j9wjHbXys 24:45 to 25:30. As for Sheamus firing up, he usually thumps his chest. watch?v=V-ndfaOnuWM Starship.paint (talk) 13:37, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Ok, I think I understand. So "firing up" is a signature move for each wrestler where they're sort of beaten down and are trying to get back into it and suddenly get re-energized and recover etc...is there any wikilink for this move? That might help. Otherwise I'd recommend using a redlink and saying "Sheamus fired up and finished Bryan off..." etc. and then in the one about Cena we can just say "fired up". --Batard0 (talk) 13:50, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * I couldn't find "fired up" or "fire up" in this Glossary of professional wrestling terms or in the main Professional wrestling article. Is this a more recent thing? --Batard0 (talk) 13:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * No, "fired up" is definitely not a signature move. It doesn't affect the other wrestler physically. For Sheamus, his way of firing up is pretty consistent in the sense that he usually does it by thumping his chest. For other wrestlers like Cena, it is not so consistent. All I can say is that it's a show of increased energy, sometimes part of a comeback, usually to incite a favourable crowd reaction (since usually the storyline good guy does the firing up) and usually build to a climax of the match. Just take this example of Brodus Clay shouting as firing up. V5Ky3BjHwPI 2:44 to 2:55 Starship.paint (talk) 14:29, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Hmm...ok, it seems I'm still not getting this. Here's what I think we should do. If it's not a wrestling term, we shouldn't be using it in this manner, because nobody uses "so-and-so fired up and did something" in everyday speech. We might say "With a burst of newfound energy, so-and-so did something" or "So-and-so thumped his chest with newfound energy and did something" or "Finding his second wind, so-and-so did something" and other things like that. But I've never heard anyone use "fired up" like this. I've heard "so-and-so got fired up and went out and won the game," but this is a different construction – it's got fired up – and in any case it is too informal to be in an encyclopedia. On the other hand, if "fired up" is a term, I recommend entering it into the Glossary of professional wrestling terms article, preferably with a citation, and wikilinking to it. I leave it up to you to decide whether it is or is not a term; based on that decision, these are the two courses of action I recommend. I'd be happy with either. --Batard0 (talk) 17:23, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Unfortunately I can't seem to find sources that say it is part of wrestling jargon, but there are other sources that consider it as a phrase (linking it to sports)... 1. 2. I don't understand what's the problem with "fired up" (action) and "got fired up" (state of being). You just used 'got fired up' in your sentence above? Starship.paint (talk) 01:03, 25 November 2012 (UTC)
 * The problem is we can't say "so-and-so fired up and did something" because it should be "so-and-so got fired up and did something". You have them reversed above -- "fired up" is a state of being (He is fired up right now) and "got fired up" is an action (Let's get this team fired up). Getting fired up leads to the state of being where one is fired up. That's why we can't say "Sheamus fired up and did XYZ"; fired up is the state of being. I think the sources aren't using "fired up" correctly, which may be causing the confusion. We could theoretically say "Sheamus got fired up and did XYZ", but as mentioned above, I think this sort of language is too informal for an encyclopedia. I'd suggest "got re-energized" or "found new energy" or something else like what was suggested above. --Batard0 (talk) 04:36, 25 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Okay, removed fired up from Sheamus and changed Cena to "An intense and re-energized Cena then delivered an.." Starship.paint (talk) 08:30, 25 November 2012 (UTC)

* Not sure I understand: "slamming Jericho through the lid of the announce table." Is this the announcers' table? And it has to be the top, not the lid, right?
 * There was a lid on the announce table which was somehow removed on the announce table. Punk slammed Jericho onto the lid (not the table), which broke. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)
 * What kind of lid are we talking about here? A lid of a trash can? (Apologies I'm not getting this -- I'm not too familiar with the sport.) --Batard0 (talk) 03:36, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * I just followed one of the three reliable sources (PWTorch) for the description of "announce table lid". Wrestleview says "one of the top pieces" while SLAM! doesn't mention the incident. If you would like to see the actual thingamajig, it's on Youtube at watch?v=oTzoZNwBFYM. 8:15, but it's quite fast. If you pause at 8:21, you can see the broken lid on the right. Starship.paint (talk) 07:44, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * This is interesting. I looked at the video, but I can't really tell what that thing is except that it appears to be a sheet of wood. Presumably it's the top of the announcers' table, given the sources. I suppose they're calling it the "lid" because the table is structured like a box and not a regular table with four legs. I'd suggest maybe we could say "slamming Jericho through the top piece of the announcers' table, which had been removed and propped up against the understructure of the table" or "slamming Jericho through a tabletop that had been removed from its base and propped up at ringside" --Batard0 (talk) 10:28, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Went with the first option. Starship.paint (talk) 12:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)

* Would it be possible to condense some of the description into a more brief summary of events in the second main event, per summary style? It feels just a little too intricately detailed -- perhaps a chain of events somewhere could be replaced with something like "after a back-and-forth in which each wrestler put the other in a submission hold, etc. etc." What we need here is the highlights, I think, the main turning points in the match instead of every detail. The details are all good and correct, but we don't have to repeat all of them.
 * I understand that this main event is very detailed, but personally I feel that I have condensed the earlier portion of the match, and only started giving a detailed "replay" once they started hitting finishing moves (starting with Jericho's codebreaker). I wouldn't mind removing the first Punk diving elbow drop as it isn't exactly a finisher, but anything after that IMO is part of the climax of the match. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)
 * I'll trust your judgment on this, since I'm not too familiar with how it works. As a general principle, I think it's useful to always have in mind the audience and the medium, i.e. you're thinking about who's going to be reading this, and what they need to know. But this is fine. --Batard0 (talk) 03:36, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * I guess pro wrestling fans are going to be reading the article, but I don't think they would mind reading a detailed report for a match for the WWE Championship which was probably designed to have an "epic" and extended finishing sequence. Starship.paint (talk) 07:30, 23 November 2012 (UTC)

* I'm not entirely clear on the meaning of: "Punk showed resiliency in his struggle to reach the ropes, but since there were no rope breaks in a Street Fight, Punk reached under the ring to obtain a fire extinguisher and sprayed it in Jericho's face to break the hold, blinding Jericho." What's a rope break? Are we saying Punk struggled to the edge of the ring and reached underneath its skirt to grab a fire extinguisher, spraying it in Jericho's face and blinding him to break the hold? We might just say that. Was it clear that Punk was trying to reach the ropes for a rope break (not sure what it is, but...) and not to grab the extinguisher?
 * To explain the rope break, in a standard match, when a submission hold (or any hold really) is applied, the defender can grab one of the ring ropes to force the attacker to relinquish the submission hold (making the wrestlers break away from each other) within a referee's five-count (one-two-three-four-five), which is termed as a rope break. If the attacker does not relinquish the hold before five, the attacker will be disqualified. Since there are no disqualifications in a Street Fight match, Jericho was not obliged to release Punk from the Walls of Jericho hold even when Punk grabbed the ropes.
 * As to whether Punk was trying to reach the ropes for a rope break or the extinguisher... I'll let the reliable sources talk... PWTorch: "Punk reached the bottom rope for a break, but there are no breaks in a Street Fight, so Punk pulled them through the ropes for him to reach down and grab a fire extinguisher outside the ring." SLAM!: "Punk crawls for the ropes but it doesn't matter as it's a street fight. But he does get there and reach under the ring, grabbing a fire extinguisher" Wrestleview: "Punk is reaching for the ropes refusing to tap. Michael Cole reminds us that ropes don't cause a break in a Street Fight. Punk reaches down and pulls out a fire extinguisher. Punk sprays it in Jericho's face" Starship.paint (talk) 07:30, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Ok, good stuff. Could we phrase this a little more clearly, though? Here's a suggestion: "Punk made it to the ropes while in the hold, but there were no rope breaks in the Street Fight format. Punk then reached under the ring, grabbed a fire extinguisher and sprayed it in Jericho's face to blind him and break the hold." --Batard0 (talk) 10:39, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Gotcha. Starship.paint (talk) 12:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "Punk then grabbed a chair, but Jericho nailed Punk with a Codebreaker into the chair." : I'm not clear on this sequence -- are we saying Punk grabbed a chair and prepared to hit Jericho with it? Or was he doing something else with the chair?
 * Yes, Punk was about to attack Jericho with the chair, but Jericho countered. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Ok, in this case we should rephrase it, because we never say Punk did anything with the chair aside from grabbing it. Maybe "Punk then grabbed a chair and prepared to attack Jericho, but Jericho...etc."--Batard0 (talk) 03:36, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * solved. Starship.paint (talk) 06:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "Cena then fired up, delivered an Attitude Adjustment to Lesnar onto the ring steps and pinned him." Recommend removing "fired up," changing to: "Cena then delivered an Attitude Adjustment to Lesnar onto the ring steps and pinned him."
 * Seeing as all three reliable sources did mention Cena "is firing up" / "trying to fire up now" / "got himself fired up", I think it's significant enough to be mentioned. Starship.paint (talk) 07:30, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Ok -- I'm just having trouble understanding what "fired up" means, precisely, as with the other case. Even though the sources have it, it doesn't seem to add much to the meaning, at least to me. If he was delivering a move that pinned his opponent, I already assume he was fired up. Could he do this lazily? --Batard0 (talk) 10:39, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * See above. Starship.paint (talk) 13:37, 23 November 2012 (UTC)


 * "On the whole, Extreme Rules saw the culmination of most of the feuds" --> "Extreme Rules saw the culmination of most of its feuds" or "Most of the feuds wrestlers at Extreme Rules were involved in ended at the event." Or something like this. "On the whole" isn't necessary at the beginning of the sentence. Also, is there a source for this para?
 * Er, there isn't an explicit source for the paragraph. It's sort of a intro/conclusion based on the later paragraphs which did have sources to prove that the feuds ended. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)
 * This is fine -- we should definitely say "most of its feuds" or something like that, though, since "most of the feuds" might leave people wondering which feuds we're talking about. --Batard0 (talk) 03:36, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * solved. Starship.paint (talk) 06:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)

* In the para starting "Immediately after Extreme Rules on the April 30 episode of Raw, WWE's Chief Operating Officer Triple H refused to give in to Brock Lesnar's unreasonable contract demands" I'm having trouble understanding how this is the aftermath of Extreme Rules except for the fact that it happened on the next episode of Raw...was there anything here that was lingering from Extreme Rules, or was this the beginning of a new plot? If it's the latter, I'd suggest perhaps it isn't really part of the aftermath of Extreme Rules...I could be wrong, though.
 * It's a completely new plot, involving Lesnar. I thought I had to mention what Lesnar did after ER, even if it wasn't with Cena any more. Starship.paint (talk) 22:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Hmm...makes sense in a way, but Lesnar is mentioned in the following para in relation to something that did happen at ER, I believe. I'll leave it up to you -- it's not that important -- but you might consider removing it or chopping it to one sentence because it seemingly is not the direct aftermath of events at ER. --Batard0 (talk) 03:36, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Lesnar's mention in the following paragraph is irrelevant to Lesnar. The mention was that Cena's next opponent, Laurinaitis, was the person who hand-picked Lesnar to face Cena at Extreme Rules. So should I downsize it to essentially "Immediately after Extreme Rules on the April 30 episode of Raw, WWE's Chief Operating Officer Triple H refused to give in to Brock Lesnar's unreasonable contract demands, starting a feud between the duo and resulting in Lesnar attacking Triple H and (in storyline) breaking Triple H's arm. The feud culminated with Lesnar defeated Triple H via submission at SummerSlam." Starship.paint (talk) 07:30, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Ok, makes sense. I think this solution sounds good -- we're not dwelling too long on Lesnar's new plot because it doesn't really relate to events at ER, but we're still mentioning what happened next with Lesnar. --Batard0 (talk) 10:39, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
 * Gotcha. Starship.paint (talk) 12:56, 23 November 2012 (UTC)

I had a last pass and made some very minor copyedits. I'm listing it now. Well done. --Batard0 (talk) 10:03, 25 November 2012 (UTC)
 * YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! THANK YOU Batard0! My first GA! HOORAY! :)))))))) Starship.paint (talk) 12:40, 25 November 2012 (UTC)