Talk:Fallout Shelter/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 11:44, 9 November 2015 (UTC)

I'll be happy to review this. JAG UAR   11:44, 9 November 2015 (UTC)

Initial comments

 * "it was released for iOS devices on June 14, 2015, and for Android devices on August 13, 2015" - it would be worth mentioning it was released worldwide for these devices
 * "Fallout Shelter tasks the player with building and managing their own Vault" - I would begin this sentence with the game, as the title seems repetitive in the lead
 * I think the lead is well written however I would recommend merging it into two paragraphs, as per WP:LEAD short paragraphs disrupt flow of the prose
 * "Common complaints included the game's lack of depth..." - why not criticisms?
 * "On November 5, 2009 John Carmack, who at that time worked for id Software, said that while it's nothing official yet, he had an internal proof of concept made for a Fallout iPhone game" - sounds like a missing quotation
 * "On August 13, a major update was launched alongside the release of the Android version" - was this update for iOS too or did it just come with the Android version?
 * "e visuals also gained some praise. Daniel Tack of Game Informer summarised the visuals as" - summarized, if this wants to stay true with American spelling
 * "By July 16, 2015, the game earned 5.1 million dollars" - I'm not sure why this isn't written out as $5.1 million

On hold
Nice work on this article! It's very decent and solid throughout. Once all of the above are clarified then I'll be happy to promote this. Please let me know if you have any questions. JAG UAR   19:29, 9 November 2015 (UTC)
 * So as it seems that the nominator hasn't edited this article in a couple days, I'll help out and fix the issues. Should have them done tonight. Famous Hobo (talk) 17:20, 12 November 2015 (UTC)
 * Thanks for picking this up. I'll be keeping my eye on this GAN, as always. JAG  UAR   17:38, 12 November 2015 (UTC)
 * Alright, addressed all the issues, as well as a few I saw while casually reading. In the sales section, it said that the game was earning 2.1 million per day, which didn't make sense because in that very same sentence, it mentioned on its release day, so I removed that part. Also, as this is an article I haven't worked on at all up until this point, I might not have worded certain parts correctly, but I think for the most part everything's good. Famous Hobo (talk) 21:38, 12 November 2015 (UTC)
 * Thanks for addressing them! Everything is in check and it seems that this definitely meets the GA criteria. You even corrected something I missed, which is much better. Without further ado I'll be promoting this now.  JAG  UAR   22:51, 12 November 2015 (UTC)