Talk:Familial aortic dissection

note
Make sure to add the websites to your source citing, so that viewers can locate the source you used. Also, make sure to have eight paragraphs.

(Bleonard4 (talk) 03:39, 22 April 2012 (UTC))

Very informational page. I suggest putting bullet points into some of the longer sections to make it easier on the readers, it can be a bit daunting to read long paragraphs throughout the entire article. Make sure that you include 8 paragraphs! Maybe break the sections you have into smaller ones and add more information. It would be nice if you could add an image or two as well. Marissa.Ray (talk) 04:54, 25 April 2012 (UTC)

The page is very informational, which is great, but I found a sentence that might need to be fixed. The sentence I found was: "Mutations in, and or lack of genes encoding for connective tissue components such as collagens, and micro- fibril associated glycoproteins are believed to hold some responsibility for aortic breakdown among the layers comprising the lumen." It sounds like a run on sentence, maybe try and reword it or make it into to separate sentences.

(Arf7 (talk) 20:07, 23 April 2012 (UTC))

Something I saw was the citing; I'm not positive if it's a problem or not but it stuck out to me, you have an area in which many cites come after the sentence and I'm not sure what the cites are specifically referring to because there are so many. (ex:it can occur in the absence of clinical features of Marfan syndrome and of systemic hypertension[2][3][4][5][6]). Also make sure that in some senstences that you're not capitalizing things that don't need to be capitalized (such as Marfan’s Syndrome, where syndrome doesn't need to be capitalized). I found your article very informative and it gave a lot of good information to the reader. It was easy reading even though you had a lot of terminology in it, it still made it so that the reader with little to no information about this topic previously could read it and get a good grasp on what you were talking about, great job! 149.84.140.209 (talk) 20:11, 23 April 2012 (UTC)kmf10

This page had a lot of very useful and interesting information. However there are a few areas that were a bit hazy to me. The biggest thing I can think of is the different types of FAD. It might be helpful to make the different types into their own small section which sort of bullets the important concepts and points associated with them. That way it breaks up the long paragraphs a bit and makes the specific types of FAD easier to find in the body of writing. (Boborb44 (talk) 20:07, 23 April 2012 (UTC))

I noticed that there are many small typo-type errors in the writing, such as "Depending on the location of the tare.." which I believe should be tear, and there also seem to be some problems with the internal links, since some words seem to be repeated twice in a row. If you go back and fix the type errors I think the article is in great shape. HopeBarnum (talk) 17:32, 25 April 2012 (UTC)

I agree with everyone above that the article does supply useful and interesting information. There were some confusing areas and some typos within the article. In the intro section, maybe you could explain what "dissection" refers to in the context of aortic dissection......the link you have provided only explains dissection that is performed on dead humans/animals in a biological setting. The second sentence needs capitalization. In the third sentence, are you refering to high systolic pressure or just systolic pressure in general? In the fifth sentence, you mention ischemia. Ischemia to what, the aorta, other tissues, etc? The seventh sentence.....I think immediate surgery "has" the best prognosis instead of "is." In characteristics, maybe make the first sentence into two after, "cardiovascular system." It seems like a run-on sentence. In the second paragraph, maybe start the sentence with, The Svensson system and then say what the classes are based on instead of starting the sentence off with that. In the third paragraph, I don't think inflammatory disease needs capitalization. In diagnosis section the word echocardiography is written twice. Also, the second and third paragraphs don't really describe diagnosis. Maybe they should be put in the characteristic section. In treatment section, "to" is written twice after "The goal is to merely to prevent..." Can you explain where the biomarkers come from? Are they found in a blood test? The last sentence confused me regarding the blockage of epinephrine. Is that accomplished by the statins/beta-blockers? What is TEE? Other than these minor things, I think you guys did a great job!! (user:HeatherCaputo/HeatherCaputo) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Heather Caputo (talk • contribs) 15:42, 26 April 2012 (UTC)