Talk:Fantasy Earth Zero/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Alexandra IDV (talk · contribs) 09:40, 29 August 2021 (UTC)

I'll review this one - I'll be back with comments within a couple of days.--AlexandraIDV 09:40, 29 August 2021 (UTC)

Infobox
 * The image caption is a sentence fragment, so it should not have a period at the end
 * I know you go into this later in the article, but Puraguru (Vanillaware) is not super clear - I would suggest something like "Puraguru (now known as Vanillaware)". Same goes for when this is written in the lead.
 * Fujimoto and Yamaguchi are not mentioned in the article proper, and is not backed up by a source anywhere. Would suggest at least mentioning them briefly in the development section with a source.
 * Normally we cover major English-speaking regions + the developer/publisher's region if different - are any of the companies involved here from China, or is there some other reason we mention the Chinese release in the infobox?
 * Is the genre not "Massively multiplayer online..."? Same goes for lead and the article body

Lead
 * Originally developed by Puraguru (Vanillaware) and Multiterm under the title Fantasy Earth: The Ring of Dominion,[d] it released under that title by Square Enix as a paid product through its PlayOnline service. - this sentence mentions twice that it was called The Ring of Dominion
 * It relaunched under Gamepot as a free title, - would avoid "title" as synonym for game here since we're also discussing the title of the game.
 * up to fifth players. - up to five

Gameplay
 * Are you writing in UK or US English? Because "customisable" with an S is the former. This happens later in the article, as well.
 * player versus player is used as a compound adjective, so should be hyphenated as player-versus-player
 * You only mention PVP twice, so I question the necessity of introducing the acronym PVP. I would just write "player-versus-player" both times.
 * Kingdom-versus-Kingdom battles - "Kingdom" is not a proper noun, so should be written as Kingdom-versus-kingdom battles
 * Something ungrammatical is going on in the caption for the gameplay screenshot

Development
 * Did Kamitani personally develop the 3D graphics, or should this say it was his first time developing a game with 3D graphics?
 * Production of Fantasy Earth was beginning during the time when asymmetric digital subscriber lines were becoming common, "was beginning" does not read well to me. Consider something like "Production began during..."
 * I realize you link it, but can we explain briefly what "assymmetric digital subscriber lines" means? It's such a technical concept that I imagine the vast majority of readers would otherwise have to click through and read up on the concept.
 * Other issues included the lead staff changing multiple times, with Kamitani's departure being one of the more notable, enabling voice chat without crashing the system, and the merger of Square and Enix during the game's production. - You're listing several issues here, but because the item "the lead staff changing multiple times, with Kamitani's departure being one of the more notable" itself contains a comma, you would need to separate the items with semicolons instead of commas to keep the list easily readable.
 * Maybe this is on me, but I don't understand the sentence Sakimoto was on board the project from Kamitani's tenure.
 * Let me just make it clear, was Koyano not part of Basiscape?
 * I would suggest briefly explaining what PlayOnline is when you mention it
 * "It was promoted [...] through cross-promotion" feels repetitive.
 * It was released in Japan on February 23, 2006. "It" is referring back to the last thing discussed (the beta test), but I assume it's supposed to mean the full game? Rewording may be necessary.
 * ; the game came with a shift to item-based billing - should this say that "the move" came with a shift to item-based billing?
 * I don't think you need to link Taiwan in this context.
 * It was released in Noted America - North America.

Reception
 * Fantasy Earth Zero rapidly became very popular and one of the most active online games of 2007. - one of the most active in Japan or Asia or worldwide or what?
 * Michael Sagoe of OnRPG, reviewing the Western release, if it only were released in Asia and North America, "the North American version" is more specific

Legacy
 * Write out "IP" as "intellectual property" and possibly link it

References
 * Ref #12 calls the game "Fantasy Earch" rather than "Fantasy Earth"
 * Ref #18, 24 and 26 should use rather than  as the latter is used for academic journals
 * Seems fine otherwise

Things I noticed that are not mandatory to address for GA
 * Brief, descriptive alt texts for images would help readers with impaired vision a lot

Sorry, I'm realizing I left a whole bunch of comments! The article is good overall though, and most of the notes should be very easy and quick to address. I will put this on hold now for the usual seven days - ping me when you have addressed the above, or if you have any questions, and I will be with you as soon as possible!--AlexandraIDV 03:17, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I think I've addressed everything you raised. --ProtoDrake (talk) 09:05, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Excellent, thank you! I will go ahead and promote the article now.--AlexandraIDV 22:34, 30 August 2021 (UTC)