Talk:Fark/Archive 3

Farkisms and clichés
Fark's comments threads are often smattered with “Farkisms” or “FARK.com clichés” (essentially, in-jokes) which are an integral part of the community culture and used in myriad discussions at the website, regardless of whether they apply to the topic at hand. Many of these clichés are not exclusive to Fark, and many actually originated in sites such as 4chan and Something Awful. A few examples include:


 * (a), (b), or (c) — Used mostly for when someone responds to an event in a bizarre way. The first two options are (relatively) normal options, while the third option (which is virtually always the actual response) is the most bizarre option. Example: "Sick: You accidentally break a neighbor's window. Do you A) Write a note and apologize, B) Run like hell out of there, or C) Steal a body from the morgue and make it appear as though the dead person tried to jump through the window?"


 * Abe Vigoda — Numerous joking references are made to Vigoda, mostly about his vital status (i.e. whether he is alive or dead). The joke derives from a People article from 1982 which erroneously declared him dead. When Fark.com won the naming rights to the TD Banknorth Garden for a day, they attempted to name it the Abe Vigoda Memorial Center.


 * Admiral Ackbar - Appearing in Photoshop Contests, it has become cliche to insert Admiral Ackbar into an original picture, often exclaiming "It's a Trap!" This is a reference to the end of Return of the Jedi, in which Admiral Ackbar shouts the phrase in response to the surprise of the imperial fleet waiting as the rebellion comes out of hyperspace.


 * Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter — Headlines about either of these two baseball players for the New York Yankees inevitably lead to suggestions of a homosexual relationship between the two. Example: "Derek Jeter is dating Jessica Biel. A-Rod devastated".


 * Asshat - The insult of choice in Fark discussion threads. Means roughly the same thing as "douchebag."  According to the Fark FAQ, "Farkers just started using this one day."


 * Bad News:___ Worse News:____  FARK:____ — Along with variations on the theme (Not News:, News:, FARK:; Stupid:, Stupider:, FARK:; etc) a headline using comic timing while describing  a story that spirals down so badly that it becomes a story that only FARK could love. Example: "Stupid: Commit crime. Stupider: Run from police. FARK: Bust in and try to hide in a cop's home."


 * Bag of antlers — A term used to describe underweight celebrities, actors and models. The phrase is almost always reserved for women.


 * Boobies — When a poster on one of the Fark.com forums posts "First Post!" or something equally stupid, the mods change their entry into "boobies!!" and change the time stamp so the post appears perpetually at the bottom of the forum. This is done so everyone knows that the poster posted something inane.
 * Bus/Plane to Hell — Seen in photoshop threads with offensive jokes (sometimes elsewhere), has many derivatives: "Aisle seat", "Window seat", "First class", "One-way Ticket", etc. Used when you think you or someone else should be sent to hell for posting a particularly insensitive or offensive comment. The phrase is not as common as it used to be and is often posted self-referentially by a person who knows he has posted something offensive or in bad taste.


 * Chien-Ming Wang - Headlines featuring the New York Yankees pitcher frequently involve various innuendo using the word "wang."


 * Cincinnati Bengals — Headlines about NFL players getting arrested inevitably contain a reference to the Bengals, who had numerous players arrested in 2006. Example: San Diego Chargers safety Terrence Kiel cited for public urination. Apparently, he believed he'd been traded to the Cincinnati Bengals . This Farkism can be applied to players in other sports, such as "Indian cricket star jailed for beating a man to death over a parking space. Cincinnati Bengals reportedly in trade talks with Punjab cricket association".
 * Die In A Fire (DIAF) — a common curse in the Fark discussion threads, usually directed at someone mentioned in the news story. The phrase originated in hate mail received by the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission after they began arresting bar patrons for public intoxication. A spokesperson for the Commission said "I don't understand, 'Die in a fire.'"
 * Do Not Want — Self-explanatory; the poster does not want something. Usually accompanied by a humorous photo of one of several dogs, apparently unhappy with an offering (eg. broccoli or the dog being made to receive anal sex from a fawn) or violently shying away from something. The phrase is a reference to a Chinese pirate version of Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith, known for its extremely poor subtitling. "Do not want" was the subtitle for Darth Vader's infamous "Noooooooo!"
 * "Dogs and cats living together" — A reference to a line by Bill Murray in Ghostbusters used to convey the sense that because of some unlikely event (usually two disparate sides joining together or agreeing) the world is going to come to an end.


 * Duke sucks — Drew Curtis is from Kentucky and hates Duke Basketball with a passion because of the 1992 East Regional Final in the NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Tournament, which Duke won on a buzzer beater in overtime.
 * EVERYBODY PANIC — a parody statement referring to the media's tendency to report on stories that may cause fear in society. Often, this parody is used in situations that are not worthy of panic.


 * fap fap fap — the sound created by a masturbating male, originating from the manga "Heartbreak Angels," and was popularized by the webcomic Sexy Losers. This often accompanies pictures or discussions of attractive women.


 * Get off my lawn — a stereotypical exclamation of the elderly, usually associated with stories involving old people


 * Good night, funny man — Used when a comedian dies - earliest known use was in reference to the death of Don Knotts. Often used to humorous effect when a notable figure retires or dies who is either not generally considered funny (e.g., when Donald Rumsfeld resigned as Secretary of Defense) or not a man (e.g., when Anna Nicole Smith died).


 * Having solved all other problems - Used when a legislature passes or debates a bill for something that seems too unimportant or just not needed. For example: "With all other problems solved, NJ Assembly committee approves a resolution requesting Rutgers redesign their R logo to include the letters NJ" or "Having solved all other civic issues, House of Lords attacks problem of improperly discarded chewing gum."


 * Here comes the science — Originally uttered by actor Ben Affleck and actress Jennifer Aniston in L'Oreal shampoo commercials aired in the UK.
 * I Work For (insert company name) — “I work for (insert company name); So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies. Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about. But trust me.... You don't. I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you don't know what you are talking about. This is how bad info gets passed around. If you don't know about the topic....Don't make yourself sound like you do. Cos some (insert target group) believe anything they hear.” This comment originally appeared on fark in a thread about the redesign of the U.S. ten-dollar bill. The comment was written by Farker mikeymop, who claimed to work for the US Mint. This cliché is used with surprising but unverifiable claims.


 * im in ur... — Phrases such as 'i'm in ur base, killing ur d00ds' are often used as captions of pictures involving a lolcat. The phrase apparently originated from a game of StarCraft.


 * Jailarity ensues — Used when writing headlines for stupid criminal stories. Jail + hilarity = jailarity.


 * Lighten up Francis — Used against commenters that get way too serious. Originally quoted by Sergeant Hulka in the movie Stripes
 * Killing kittens — A euphemism for masturbation, in reference to the Internet phenomenon “Every time you masturbate... God kills a kitten.” A variation of the theme, “Many kittens saved,” can be found in instances when masturbation has been successfully avoided.
 * Lolcat pictures


 * Moran — Intentional misspelling of the word moron. Originates from a picture of a man holding signs saying "Go USA" and "Get a brain! Morans"


 * Moshzilla — A photograph of a young woman dancing in mosh pit, taking a very odd pose. Almost invariably, this image appears every day in one thread or another, and has been cut into numerous photoshop contests since its appearance on the internet.


 * Mustard Man — A picture of a large man standing in what appears to be a kitchen holding a large jar of mustard, in which he seems to have previously buried both of his arms up to the elbows. Enterprising bloggers were able to find Mustard Man and determined that he is actually a Toronto comedian named Mike “Nug” Nahrgang.


 * Oil hitting the anus - Refers to a discussion about the effects of ingesting tea made from poison ivy.
 * Oil prices drop (or rise) below (above) $xx a barrel on news of . . . — Commonly used starting in 2006 as headlines for articles whose topics are totally unrelated to the price of oil (e.g. “Oil drops below $70 a barrel on news of Haley Joel Osment's DUI”). Ridicules the news coverage of the recent dramatic fluctuations in the price of oil due to the oil price increases of 2004-2006 and the occasional current events which were initially blamed.
 * Old and Busted: __. The New Hotness: __. — (e.g.: “Old and busted: Boobies links. New hotness: Cell phone porn"). A reference to Men in Black II, in which “old and busted” represents “old news” or a novelty which has since worn off and “new hotness” represents the latest fixation. There are arguments that could be made that this cliché predates MiBII, coming from an "Engrish" advertisement.
 * Owes me a new keyboard/monitor — Used to indicate that the poster has spat coffee or a similar substance over his computer after reading a particularly funny joke. Similar to the Usenet saying “C&C (Cat And Coffee) warning please,” referring to the painful scratching that can result from bursting out laughing while having a cat on one's lap. This cliché is considered particularly un-funny and trite by most Farkers.


 * Poop Thread — Subjects related to extremely graphic and/or disgusting content are strictly prohibited.  When threads involving feces are posted, commentors often declare "POOP THREAD!" and post embarrassing things about themselves (real or fabricated) knowing that the thread will be deleted shortly.
 * Pound-Me-In-The-Ass (PMITA) Prison — Taken from the movie Office Space, often referring to federal prison.


 * Ric Romero — A Los Angeles television reporter for KABC-TV, noted for reporting on blogging as if it were a new discovery years after it had hit the mainstream. Ric Romero is usually mentioned in Fark articles when the topic is of an incredibly obvious nature.


 * Ripping [...] is like ripping Peyton Manning "...So many people have done it, it's become part of the pop culture landscape, and it's ridiculous." Constantly appears when discussion of celebrities or athletes turn into a flaming of said subjects.


 * (Looking for) Sarah Connor — A reference to The Terminator that invariably appears in headlines referencing new advances in robotics. (For example, "Scientists invent amazing robot that can perform surgery, find Sarah Connor").


 * On September 11, 2001, I had a view of ________. Thanks for asking. - on January 31, 2007, a bomb scare caused panic in Boston, Massachusetts, and a Farker implied that he knew more about terrorism than other Farkers because, "On September 11, 2001, I had a view of Logan Airport. Thanks for asking."  The pomposity of this statement has led to it being lampooned in many related and unrelated threads, with Farkers filling in the above blank for humorous effect.


 * Schadenfreude at its finest — 'pleasure taken from someone else's misfortune' Usually used when celebrities are arrested, incarcerated, or otherwise punished for their misdeeds.  Primarily a criticism of popular media and the "ordinary" person's fascination with the lives of celebrities.


 * Shakes Magic 8-ball — Used to indicate that whatever is occurring, typically the rise and fall of oil prices, appears to be random, whimsical, and lacking any connection to the real world. An example would be "Oil prices fall below $60 a barrel because of... *shakes magic 8-ball* Anna Nicole Smith's death."


 * Slashies — Originally used as a way to show the end of a certain posting style, (e.g. "/sarcasm" would indicate the poster was done writing sarcastically) the slash referred to html coding where slashes are used to end a set of code (e.g. ). It is more common in Fark comments to just use a / in front of a post script or aside though.


 * Still no cure for cancer — Referring to seemingly pointless scientific studies. The first reference appeared in a headline on January 23, 2002 in an article about a bored scientist doing something apparently pointless. It did not seem to catch on until another headline appeared in May of the same year.


 * Streetlight – "It's a streetlight!" is used to refer to mysterious phenomena (especially UFOs) and was started by farker forked_at_fark when she posted a thread asking for help in identifying picture of a UFO she took . Others immediately picked up its resemblance to a streetlight in the dark but forked_at_fark insisted "it is not a street lamp" and neither was it a plane because "it has been about in the same spot in the sky for awhile" . She later admitted that the picture was indeed of a street light but still insisted that "there WAS something in the sky" that night.


 * Suck it, libs - Appears in most political articles, regardless of content.


 * The Aristocrats! - Refers to the classic joke and is used as an exclamation in response to stories that are intricate, yet vulgar.


 * The Memo - in sports threads, when calls by referees seem so one-sided as to be conspiratorial in nature to allow one team to win, Farkers often claim the refs "have received The Memo" or something akin to it. Refers to an NFL playoff weekend in which a Farker was complaining about supposed favoritism shown to Tom Brady, and took off during a later Colts-Steelers game in which several bad calls did take place.


 * The Sun is there - Referring to the British tabloid of the same name. The Sun often features what are considered to be pointless news stories.


 * Today's ____ story is brought to you by ____ — Some news topics have been featured so often, they've become running jokes: "Today's hot teacher sleeping with school student story...;" "Today's killer pit bull story...;" "Today's road rage story...;" etc. While the content of these news stories is often lurid and tawdry, it reflects how commonplace news reports of this type have become in present-day media.


 * TotaLPhark — After just about every "classic" thread would start turning into a contest to see which user could make the last post before the thread was archived, this practice was forbidden. A small group of users now participates in "TotaLPhark" (the capitalized LP is for "last post") in threads dedicated to such a contest alone. As most users think the concept is ridiculous, this small but visible group has adopted slogans such as "We Know Stupid" and "We Ruin TotalFark."


 * ____ trifecta is now in play — Commonly mentioned in threads after a second common topic is seen in one day and a third is anticipated, thereby making a “trifecta.”


 * UFIA — an acronym, meaning “Unsolicited/Unexpected Finger in the Anus.” It became a Fark.com cliché after an article making the main page misquoted a judge using the line. UFIA was prominently used again in February, 2005, when Fark's creator, Drew Curtis, purchased the naming rights to the Fleet Center in Boston, Massachusetts before it became TD Banknorth Garden for the single day of February 28, 2005. The consensus choice of Fark.com's readers was that it should be re-dubbed the, “Fark.com UFIA Center.” In the end, however, Boston Garden was chosen as the name. In April 2006, a Fark member convinced the Tennessee Department of Transportation to erect an Adopt a Highway sign in the name of UFIA on the two miles of State Route 63 west of the intersection of SR 63 and U.S. Route 25E. The Department required a definition of UFIA, which was explained as, “Uniting Friends in America.” However, one of the readers of the thread tipped off the DOT and the sign was removed. In advice threads, UFIA is a commonly suggested solution. UFIA begat the UBIE and the UWIE (Unsolicited Boobies or Weeners In Email). Since Boobies are often requested, and therefore not-unsolicited, BIE is often referenced while Weeners are still mostly UWIE.


 * Ugly-ass Baby ___ - Stories involving newborn animals invariably have headlines that call the baby animals ugly. Most of the time, the animals in question are sickeningly cute.


 * UltraFark — a mythical, Illuminati-esque version of Fark that is greater than TotalFark. Posters mentioning UltraFark are generally cut off by mysterious errors of the form ++++**NO CARRIER**++++


 * ...wait, what? - Attached to the end of a headline that mentions something wildly counterintuitive, and which (ideally) had been stated in a matter-of-fact manner. Example: "Some things you can find at your pawn shop: bike rims, some cereal, uranium and... wait, what?" Often, as here, the other elements in the headline were made up simply to show off the counterintuitive one.


 * Wal-Mart Greeter — a photo of a naked old man wearing only a Wal-Mart sack is usually posted in threads pertaining to Wal-Mart. The photo originated as a spliced photo of former Wal-Mart greeter Dean L. Wooten's head on an unidentified man's body. Wooten was later terminated from his position as a greeter for distributing the photo to customers, telling them that Wal-Mart was cutting costs and that the sack was company's new employee uniform


 * You'll get over it — (Sometimes also seen as "____ will get over it") Originated during a discussion about the new changes to Fark.com on April 25, 2007.  Modmin (moderator/administrator) Jeff's response to the complaints by many Farkers was simply "You'll get over it."  His comments resulted in a wave of backlash by many Farkers who felt this response was immature, especially from an Admin.  In response, Jeff apologized through Drew and took an extended break.  As of April 26, 2007, the Farkism has found its way into regular conversation and even PS meme.


 * Your dog wants _____ — (original line is “your dog wants steak”). Originated by a submitter in a headline regarding a Japanese device that supposedly read canine thoughts, and was followed up two days later in a headline for a device that supposedly translated a human baby's cries.

Many of these clichés have migrated to other websites, sometimes being merged with existing clichés on those sites, e.g. |this example from slashdot.