Talk:Federico Gatti/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: ArsenalGhanaPartey (talk · contribs) 15:49, 18 March 2022 (UTC)

I am planning to review this article.

Update: @Dr Salvus I will review this in the next week. I will do my best to do as much as I can, as I have less time for editing Wikipedia right now. ArsenalGhanaPartey (talk) 14:58, 28 March 2022 (UTC)

Lead
Looks fine.

Personal Life
Try to expand this section. If you can't, merge it into youth career. Move "Gatti considers Juventus' defender Giorgio Chiellini as his idol" into the Style of Play section.
 * I do not agree. 99,999999 % of our articles do not have idols in the Style of Play section.

Youth Career
Try to expand. I've added a sentence but I can't find anything else. Dr Salvus 19:06, 4 April 2022 (UTC)

Pavarolo and Saluzzo
"(2017–18), due to economic problems, Pavarolo was late with the payments." The bolded part could be better written.
 * ✅ Dr Salvus 18:23, 4 April 2022 (UTC)

"As Gatti was the tallest player in the squad, he changed his position from midfielder to defender." Rewrite that sentence like this: "Gatti changed his position from midfielder to defender to take advantage of his height."
 * I also disagree here. Gatti did not change the position to take advantage of his height but due to a necessity as Pavarolo didn't have any player who didn't come from the youth sector. Dr Salvus 18:39, 4 April 2022 (UTC)

Verbania and Pro Patria
This is fine.

Frosinone
Try to expand.

Style of play
Try to expand.

That is all. @Dr Salvus. ArsenalGhanaPartey (talk) 17:49, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
 * It looks the syle of play section cannot be extended anymore. I've extended the Frosinone section. Dr Salvus 19:01, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
 * @ArsenalGhanaPartey It looks you're not very active. You haven't updated this for four days. Are you going to be less busy soon? Otherwise, it could be better if someone else reviewed this. <b style="font-family: Verdana; color: #6633FF;">Dr</b> <b style="font-family: Verdana; color: #6633FF;">Salvus</b> 18:22, 8 April 2022 (UTC)

Comments
Apologies for "barging in", but I saw the recent edit summaries on WP:FOOTY about this review stalling and thought I would comment here rather than start a new review while this first one is still open. Having read the article, I don't think it is ready to be listed as a Good Article, specifically with regards to criteria 1a and 1b.

(1a) The grammar is generally very poor throught the piece. I understand that English is not the main author's first language, but the fact remains that articles must be grammatically correct to meet the GA criteria. It would take too long to list all the grammatical issues in the article, but here are a few comments just from the lead section (not an exhaustive list):
 * In his youth career, Gatti had played with Chieri, Torino and Alessandria - consider changing "had played with" to "represented"
 * he started his senior career in Promozione — the sixth tier of the Italian football system — team Pavarolo in February 2015 - you don't start a career "in" a team in English, and frankly the excessive detail about what division/tier he was playing in doesn't really belong in the lead section.
 * helping his team be promoted to the Eccellenza in the next season - "helping his team be promoted" is ungrammatical, and in any case I don't think it's neutral to say he "helped" his team to be promoted without some explanation about how he specifically aided, otherwise the team simply got promoted while he was playing for them.
 * In mid 2018, he moved to Verbania, gaining the promotion - don't need "the"
 * Gatti did not avoid his team's relegation to Eccellenza - just doesn't make sense

(1b) The layout is good and the article generally follows the MoS, apart from a couple of occasions where numbers are given in figures when they should be spelled out. Word choice is generally OK but there are examples of slang/jargon, e.g. use of "a brace" instead of "two goals"; and places where the word just does not make sense in context, e.g. "Gatti was often aggregated(?) to the first team".

As well as these issues, the prose is very monotonous. Almost every sentence is of the form "In XXXX, Gatti did YYYY. Next, Gatti did ZZZZ". I would recommend having a look at some existing Good Articles on footballers, making a serious effort to overhaul the text and renominating later as there is a good base of an article here and a lot of research has been done. He seems like an interesting player who has worked his way up the ranks, but sadly the article as it is right now just isn't quite up to GA standard. Sorry if any of this comes across as harsh, but I thought it best to be honest. Cheers, BigDom (talk) 11:43, 12 April 2022 (UTC)
 * , I'd cared about the other criteria. I'd arleady been aware that I wouldn't've been able to make an high quality text. I'll try to do something to fix the grammar. <b style="font-family: Verdana; color: #6633FF;">Dr</b> <b style="font-family: Verdana; color: #6633FF;">Salvus</b> 12:12, 12 April 2022 (UTC)
 * I've also made its prose less monotonous. <b style="font-family: Verdana; color: #6633FF;">Dr</b> <b style="font-family: Verdana; color: #6633FF;">Salvus</b> 13:04, 12 April 2022 (UTC)

Thanks, for your input. After looking through the article again it looks like there are more issues with the prose and grammar than I realized. I am therefore failing, as it is not in Good Article Shape. Don't take this wrong way DrSalvus, feel free to resubmit this article later after you have made substantial improvements. — Preceding unsigned comment added by ArsenalGhanaPartey (talk • contribs)

Grammar
@ArsenalGhanaPartey, well. Its only problem is the prose. Can't you put the nomination on hold rather than to say it's a failure? I'll request a GOCE at this point. <b style="font-family: Verdana; color: #6633FF;">Dr</b> <b style="font-family: Verdana; color: #6633FF;">Salvus</b> 10:19, 13 April 2022 (UTC)


 * @ArsenalGhanaPartey I don't want to wait four months (2 months for GOCE and 2 months for the second nomination) just for a low quality prose. Would you mind if I asked to review in your talk this when the article is GOCE reviewed? It'll be easier to review the second time as you'll have only to review its prose. <b style="font-family: Verdana; color: #6633FF;">Dr</b> <b style="font-family: Verdana; color: #6633FF;">Salvus</b> 14:25, 13 April 2022 (UTC)


 * @Dr Salvus, I have less time to edit WP as you can tell by activity. I'm sure somebody else would be willing to review this article. ArsenalGhanaPartey (talk) 14:35, 13 April 2022 (UTC)