Talk:Feedback (Janet Jackson song)/GA1

GA Review
This review is transcluded from Talk:Feedback (song)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Here are my comments. The article is currently on hold, meaning that you have about a week to fix the problems outlined below.


 * Some of the prose is awkward, and I noticed some grammar and punctuation errors. I would strongly suggest performing (or asking WP:LOCE to do) a full, thorough copyedit.
 * The lead needs to be expanded to fully summarize the article.
 * Some information is missing from the article. The following sections would encompass what's missing. (for a good example, look at The Sweet Escape (song).
 * Background and writing (who wrote it, how the idea was conceived, etc.)
 * Expansion of the "Music and lyrics" section (analysis of the lyrics&mdash;not criticism; that belongs in the criticism section&mdash;the chords, the style, etc.)
 * The Critical reception section could do with more reviews and commentary.
 * A section describing the chart performance would be good, but not necessary.
 * It should have a "Personnel" section.
 * In the Music video section, the references all shouldn't be at the end unless they're all referencing the last statement. References should come after the sentence that they reference.
 * References usually belong after punctuation, at the end of a sentence. There were many references in the middle of sentences; they should be moved to the end of sentences in most cases. (WP:REF)
 * I have added tags to all statements needing references.
 * Was there any negative feedback on the song? I would suggest reading through reviews for the song, and finding an acceptable proportion of positive to negative reviews to quote in the critical feedback section.

I hope that this is helpful. Keilana | Parlez ici 18:47, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

What I've done so far

 * Resolved fact tags
 * Put all sources at end of sentances - Sources all come after the punctuation
 * Sorted the sources for the "Music Video" section
 * Expanded both the "Critical" and "Commercial" sections
 * Done "Personnel"
 * Article copy edited by a former member of the Copy edit league
 * Lead expanded
 * — Realist 2  ( Come Speak To Me ) 00:28, 20 June 2008 (UTC)

This looks good, I'll be passing the article shortly. Excellent work. Keilana | Parlez ici 05:16, 20 June 2008 (UTC)


 * Thankyou, you did a great review, great advise. Yay, my first GA in what feels like ages. :-) — Realist 2  ( Come Speak To Me ) 05:19, 20 June 2008 (UTC)