Talk:First Nations Workers Alliance

University assignment
Hi, I have created this article for a university assignment. I am after reviewing for the style, analysis of writing and content and any other recommendations. Thank you, Artsandsocialwork (talk) 03:11, 23 October 2018 (UTC)
 * Hello . I've declined the speedy deletion request on this article as blatant promotion as I don't find it that. However, there are some issues. First, substantial sections were unreferenced and did seem to "talk up" the organization or its causes. I've removed most of those. Wikipedia is not a place to campaign for the organization's causes, only to factually describe what it is and what it does, and to include reliably referenced information about its results. The article should not give the impression that we either agree or disagree with the organization's views, aims, or practices, it should only catalog them. Similarly, we shouldn't generally include "vision" or "mission" type statements quoted verbatim, unless reliable secondary references have made substantial note of them for some reason. Stylistically, there were some issues of syntax, capitalization, etc., which are common and I fixed some of. A more major issue is the frequent dropping of quotations into the middle of sentences, a practice that should be avoided. The sources should be paraphrased and summarized in a neutral fashion rather than the frequent use of direct quotations as a portion of a sentence. Also, the article should focus more on what the organization actually is, its history, etc. For example, I can't even tell from reading the article if this is a government organization or an NGO. The lead sentence should start out with such information; e.g., "The United States Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is a cabinet department of the United States federal government ...", rather than jumping right into what they try to do. And if direct quotations are to be used, they should always be attributed to their source, both via a reference and in the text. So, for example, we see one sentence adding with the quote that something was "racially discriminatory", but I have no idea from reading that sentence who said it's discriminatory. If you're going to use a quote, always say who that quote is from.
 * In any case, that's a lot of criticism, and it's only since you asked. It's really not a bad effort for a first shot at writing an article; starting a new article is one of the hardest things to do here and I've certainly seen much worse. Seraphimblade Talk to me 16:31, 23 October 2018 (UTC)


 * The significant majority of the article is about the CDP. However the CDP is not a program of the FNWA.  It is a Government program.  You need to split out all the CDP material into a separate article, about the CDP.  THE FNWA article then might have a couple of sentences referring to the FNWA's opinion of the CDP.  Aoziwe (talk) 10:41, 24 October 2018 (UTC)

Australian English
Please create an edit notice for the article, placing in it the template Thank you--Aoziwe (talk) 12:17, 9 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Padlock-pink-open.svg Not done: According to the page's protection level you should be able to edit the page yourself. If you seem to be unable to, please reopen the request with further details. — CYBERPOWER  ( Chat ) 16:54, 9 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Note that should go on the talk page, above, and not the article itself. --Nessie (talk) 16:57, 9 November 2018 (UTC)

Thanks Nessie and CYBERPOWER. The doco is not at all clear. I think I have now done what I wated to do on the article primarily. Aoziwe (talk) 10:53, 10 November 2018 (UTC)