Talk:Five precepts/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 21:59, 25 March 2019 (UTC)

Opening statement
In reviews I conduct, I may make small copyedits. These will only be limited to spelling and punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. For replying to Reviewer comment, please use ✅,, , ❌, , or , followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. — ♠Vami _IV†♠  21:59, 25 March 2019 (UTC)

Now, some disclaimers for record keeping. I am not as familiar with Eastern religions, particularly Buddhism, as I would like to be, so I may miss holes in content. I do not think there will be, based on prior experience with the Nominator, Farang Rak Tham. Finally, this review is conducted in response to a request on my talk page to clear the GAN:REL backlog. — ♠Vami _IV†♠  21:59, 25 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Thanks, Vami! This is certainly the most notable subject of all the ones I nominated, since it such a broad topic and very relevant for Buddhist practice.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:25, 25 March 2019 (UTC)

Role in Buddhist doctrine

 * On a smilar note, in Buddhist texts, the ideal, righteous society is one in which people keep five precepts. Is it supposed to be "keep the five precepts"?
 * Yes, that's silly. .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:41, 25 March 2019 (UTC)


 * person aiming to become a Buddha (bodhisattva) Both of these link to Bodhisattva. Consolidate? Reduce to one?
 * .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:41, 25 March 2019 (UTC)


 * enlightened disciples of a Buddha, but not Buddhas themselves. There is a motif of placing the term (here Arhat) after the linktext. Not present in the quoted text here.
 * .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:41, 25 March 2019 (UTC)


 * And again: most fundamental rules of monastic discipline (Parajika)
 * .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:41, 25 March 2019 (UTC)


 * can be compared with the ten commandments in Christianity And to Judaism.
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:41, 25 March 2019 (UTC)


 * The picture demonstrating the eight-fold path should, I think, be moved up and to the right side of the section. It sandwiches the top of "History" and the first two paragraphs in "Role in Buddhist doctrine" can take the squishing.
 * ✅, I think.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:41, 25 March 2019 (UTC)

History
Record keeping: Carried out some copyedits here; nothing major, all dealing with grammar.
 * Sure, go ahead.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:53, 25 March 2019 (UTC)


 * In countries in which Buddhism was adopted as the main religion without much competition from other religious disciplines, such as Thailand, the relation between the initiation of a lay person and the five precepts has been virtually non-existent, and the taking of the precepts has become a sort of ritual cleansing ceremony. Could you abbreviate this sentence?
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:53, 25 March 2019 (UTC)


 * The picture of the Tang dynasty is next to three paragraphs that have nothing to do with China.
 * .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:53, 25 March 2019 (UTC)


 * Is there another language article for Daoshi? If yes, could you add an ILL link to it?
 * Nothing on the Chinese wiki, unfortunately.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:53, 25 March 2019 (UTC)

Practice in general

 * Religion scholar Sounds clunky when read. How about "Scholar of religion"?
 * ✅.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 23:01, 25 March 2019 (UTC)


 * monastic ordination Another one for the pile: Upasampada
 * .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 23:01, 25 March 2019 (UTC)


 * the negative karma was considered larger as in the case no vow was taken to keep the precepts. than in the case if no vow was taken to keep the precepts?
 * Yes, silly me. .-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 23:01, 25 March 2019 (UTC)