Talk:Floodland (album)/GA2

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 05:29, 1 October 2020 (UTC)

Did look through briefly but I will not have the same issues the previous reviewer had, so will start on this today! --K. Peake 05:29, 1 October 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Only the vinyl length should be in the infobox since it should not cite more than one length, plus do not put vinyl in brackets and remove hlist
 * Remove "1989" from the list of singles since it was considered as a promo single
 * "on 13 November 1987 through Merciful Release internationally, via" → "on 13 November 1987, through Merciful Release internationally and distributed by" I think this makes sense instead of via?
 * "handling the American release." → "handling the United States release." since this is an encyclopaedia and American refers to two continents
 * "the band's debut album," → "the band's debut studio album,"
 * "departed the band to form" → "left to form"
 * "a side project, The Sisterhood, and recorded" → "a side project known as The Sisterhood, recording" per MOS:THEMUSIC
 * "After his first album with the project was received" → "After the project's first album was received"
 * "he went back to recording as" → "he went back to recording as part of"
 * "and hired Sisterhood member" → "and hired the Sisterhood member"
 * "influenced the album's title as well as its" → "influenced its title as well as the"
 * "in various studios throughout England." → "at various studios across England."
 * "Doktor Avalanche" should be wikilinked
 * "which acted as the drum player;" → "The drum machine acted as the drum player;" as a new sentence and this should start the third para, being followed by the info that currently succeeds it in the second para; the fourth para will be what is currently the third
 * "a member of the band." → "a member of the Sisters of Mercy."
 * "was done in a less" → "was created in a less"
 * "with the album being pieced together" → "being pieced together"
 * Target sequencers to Music sequencer
 * "The album musically incorporates" → "The former incorporates the genres of"
 * "while lyrically, Eldritch is cast" → "while the lyrical content sees Eldritch cast"
 * "that inspired some of the album's songs include" → "that inspired certain songs were"
 * Remove the first sentence as the last para and begin that para with the singles info instead
 * "The three singles released to support the album" → "The singles"
 * "and "Lucretia My Reflection"." → "and "Lucretia My Reflection" were released in promotion."
 * "In the UK," → "In the United Kingdom"
 * "peaked at number 7, "Dominion" peaked at number 13, and "Lucretia My Reflection" peaked at number 20." → "peaked at number 7 on the UK Singles Chart, while "Dominion" and "Lucretia My Reflection" peaked at number 13 and 20, respectively." with the appropriate wikilink
 * Remove the radio single sentence
 * "While it initially received mixed reviews from critics, Floodland has retrospectively" → "Despite initially receiving mixed reviews from music critics, Floodland has retrospectively" and this should come directly after the two sentences about singles in the new order
 * "in the United Kingdom at number 9." → "on the UK Albums Chart at number 9," with the wikilink (this will be the sentence directly after the reception one) and mention only the gold certification from the British Phonographic Industry (BPI) in this sentence after the comma with proper identification; try something like "later being certified gold in the UK by the..."
 * "The album also peaked within the top 40" → "It also reached the top 40"
 * "European countries." → "European countries, including Switzerland."

Background

 * Img needs alt text and the main text should be reworded to mention Eldritch's relevance to this section
 * "of the band's debut album" → "of the Sisters of Mercy debut studio album"
 * "intended to record" → "intended for them to record"
 * Target single to Single (music)
 * [1] should solely be at the end of the sentence
 * Wikilink Jim Steinman
 * Add release year of ABBA's song in brackets
 * "was in the band's" → "was part of the band's"
 * "in producing the cover," → "in producing the cover version,"
 * "prepared their second LP" → "prepared their second studio album"
 * "who still intended to record the album" → "who had still intended to record the album but"
 * "on the same day called bassist Patricia Morrison," → "called bassist Patricia Morrison that same month,"
 * "was on a UK tour" → "was on a tour of the United Kingdom"
 * "Fur Bible supporting" → "Fur Bible in support of"
 * "and asked her to collaborate" → "asking Morrison to collaborate" since otherwise it sounds confusing with the mention of Siouxsie and the Banshees
 * "reported the break-up" → "reported the break-up of the band"
 * "Doctor Avalanche" → "[Doktor Avalanche]" since it should be fixed that the spelling is poor and we need to use []; I recommend wikilinking but I do not know how to in the context that there is already []
 * "on under the old band's name," → "on under the disformed band's name,"
 * "members of the band who left" → "the members who left"
 * "the name "the Sisters of Mercy"" → "the name the Sisters of Mercy"
 * "under the name "the Sisterhood"," "as part of a project under the name of the Sisterhood"
 * "featured vocals" → "features vocals"
 * "the Merciful Release label announced that he" → "the record label Merciful Release announced that the" with the wikilink
 * "This solo album, which was" → "The album was"
 * "titled Gift, was released" → "titled Gift, being released"
 * "again under the Sisterhood moniker." → "again by the Sisterhood."
 * "for contractual reasons. Morrison" → "for contractual reasons, though Morrison"
 * "the first time, contributing" → "the first time by contributing"
 * Target spoken passage to Spoken word
 * "The album was negatively" → "Gift was negatively"
 * Target RCA Music Limited to RCA
 * "as a result." → "as a result of it."
 * "A Sisterhood 12" EP titled This Corrosion" → "A 12" EP by the Sisterhood entitled This Corrosion"
 * "and would feature an" → "and set to feature an"
 * "It had been recorded" → "The EP had been recorded"
 * "unreleased. Eldritch instead kept" → "unreleased, with Eldritch instead keeping"

Recording

 * First img needs alt text and end the main text with a.
 * "under the name "the Sisters of Mercy"," → "under the name of the Sisters of Mercy,"
 * [11] should solely be at the end of the sentence
 * "new album, under the Warner Elektra Atlantic (WEA) label, in Hamburg. → "new album while in Hamburg, under the Warner Elektra Atlantic (WEA) label."
 * "The demos were" → "The demos for the album were"
 * "a MIDI drum machine that featured a "tighter snare drum" sound at a modest price." → "a MIDI drum machine of a modest price that featured a "tighter snare drum" sound."
 * "of all Floodland songs" → "of all of the songs on Floodland"
 * "contribute to the songwriting, saying that the album" → "contribute to the songwriting for the album, with him saying that it"
 * Mention in this prose that Morrison was hired, even if that may involve changing the wording because it is not broad enough to cover the img currently
 * "He insinuated that she" → "Eldritch insinuated that she"
 * Wikilink writer's block
 * "in which he stated that she" → "stating that she"
 * "did not appear on the album." → "did not appear on Floodland."
 * "also confirmed that her contributions" → "also gave confirmation that Morrison's contributions"
 * "split, saying that" → "split, saying:"
 * Wikilink This Corrosion
 * "to SBK Songs Limited (now part of EMI Music Publishing)." → "to SBK Songs Limited, which is now part of EMI Music Publishing."
 * Second img needs alt text
 * "(pictured here in 2005)" → "(pictured in 2005)" on the img's main text
 * ""Mother Russia" and "This Corrosion"" → ""Mother Russia", and "This Corrosion"."
 * "which was to be produced by" → "which was set to be produced by"
 * Are you sure there isn't any appropriate target for Borgia in the context?
 * "He also used Steinman to get his record company" → "Eldritch also used Steinman to get his record label"
 * "He figured that the company" → "He figured that the label"
 * "the head of Warners'" → "the head of WEA's"
 * "of £50,000 for the song." → "of £50,000 for "This Corrosion"."
 * Remove wikilink on "This Corrosion"
 * "started in January 1987" → "started during January 1987"
 * "used Power Station Studios in Manhattan, New York," → "recorded at the Power Station studio in Manhattan of the city,"
 * [22] should solely be at the end of the sentence before [23]
 * "but noted that it" → "but noted that this"
 * "and arrangements. This caused him" → "and arrangements; this caused him"
 * "partial production credit for" → "partial production credit on"
 * "The remainder of the album was" → "The remainder of Floodland was"
 * "who he eventually" → "whom he eventually"
 * "He called Larry Alexander while" → "He called Alexander while"
 * "They travelled to England," → "The two travelled to England,"
 * "They spent time at Strawberry Studios in Stockport before transitioning to The Wool Hall in Bath." → "Before transitioning to The Wool Hall in Bath, the two recorded at Strawberry Studios in Stockport." with the target and wikilink
 * "Recording was completed" → "The recording for the album was completed"
 * "Originally Eldritch intended" → "Originally, Eldritch had intended"
 * "who had worked with" → "who had collaborated with"
 * "but he was committed" → "but Spence was committed"


 * I would imagine that you're looking through the rest of the article still, but I would like to let you know regardless that I have addressed all the concerns you've listed above. The only one I wasn't able to get done was the one regarding "any appropriate target for Borgia in the context". I wasn't entirely sure what exactly "Borgia" is referring to in that context, not am I entirely sure that House of Borgia would be an appropriate wikilink there. Aria1561 (talk) 19:52, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you for getting through the comments that I have made up to this point, as for the Borgia one I was not too sure either so maybe leave it without any target whatsoever. You were correct in your imagination, as I will be making further comments regarding this article below. --K. Peake 21:09, 1 October 2020 (UTC)

Music

 * "Sputnikmusic staff reviewer "ManosG" described the music of Floodland as" → "The music of Floodland was described as"
 * "to the previous album, First and Last and Always, which" → "to the Sisters of Mercy's previous album First and Last and Always, which"
 * "with the help of sequencers." → "that used sequencers to help."
 * Target Voyetra Sequencer Plus to Turtle Beach Corporation
 * "with a Yamaha SPX-90 being used" → "while a Yamaha SPX-90 was used"
 * "and the parts being saved" → "and the parts were saved"
 * "on "This Corrosion" which was" → "on "This Corrosion", which was"
 * Target Akai S900 to Akai MPC
 * "an Oberheim DMX which had" → "an Oberheim DMX, which had previously"
 * "The remaining drum sounds" → "The other drum sounds"

Lyrics

 * First img looks good
 * "Regarding the album title," → "Regarding the title Floodland,"
 * "writing all the songs," → "writing all the songs for the album,"
 * "the recurrence of this theme to" → "the theme's recurrence to"
 * Wikilink Armageddon
 * "The two-part opening track," → "Floodland's two-part opening track,"
 * Put publication year of "Ozymandias"
 * "by Cold War geopolitics as well." → "by geopolitics of the Cold War as well."
 * "by the Americans"." by the Americans.""
 * "created, he said" → "created, he said:"
 * "use the word" → "both use the word"
 * "commented on the song, saying" → "commented on the songs, saying that"
 * "The partially-autobiographical song "1959" takes it title" → ""1959" is a partially-autobiographical song, which takes its title"
 * "He thought of the song as regarding" → "He thought that the song regards"
 * (pictured here in 2004) → (pictured in 2004) on the second img main text
 * "The centre piece of the album," → "The [[centrepiece of the album," with the wikilink
 * "former bandmates who were now in the Mission." → "former bandmates, who had formed the Mission."
 * "The lyrics are" → "The lyrics of the track are"
 * "as Wayne Hussey especially" → "in the manner that Hussey especially"
 * "He also notes" → "He also noted"
 * "like "Nine While Nine" on the band's previous album," → "similarly to "Nine While Nine" from First and Last and Always,"
 * "why the relationship" → "why their relationship"
 * "On "Never Land", Eldritch commented" → "Speaking of "Never Land", Eldritch commented"
 * "Eldritch referred to would be found" → "Eldritch spoke of were found"
 * "twelve-minute version of the song," → "12 minute version of the song," per MOS:NUM
 * "in the 2006 reissue" → "on the 2006 reissue"
 * ✅ — All concerns for this section (both Music and Lyrics) have been addressed. Aria1561 (talk) 15:44, 2 October 2020 (UTC)

Release

 * Retitle to Release and promotion
 * "as the first single from the album," → "as the lead single from Floodland," with the wikilink
 * "initially had pleaded for "Dominion"." → "had initially pleaded for "Dominion" to be the lead single."
 * "It was released" → "The song was released"
 * "18 September 1987. It was released" → "18 September 1987, being released"
 * "CD and cassette;" → "CD, and cassette;" with the targets
 * "on the single," → "on the single release,"
 * "the record company desired" → "the record label desired"
 * "but lasts about" → "though the version lasts about"
 * "was mixed by Steinman and" → "was mixed by Steinman, and" with the target
 * Target B-side to A-side and B-side
 * "played every instrument on." → "played every instrument for."
 * "for the aborted Left on Mission and Revenge album." → "for the scrapped album Left on Mission and Revenge."
 * Remove target on Sisterhood
 * "song "Colours". WEA conceded" → "song "Colours" (1985), while WEA conceded"
 * "for the video." → "on the music video for "This Corrosion"." with the wikilink, as otherwise it reads confusingly about the video
 * "It was shot in" → "The video was shot at"
 * "and set in the ruins of a post-nuclear attack London and was directed by Stuart Orme." → "and directed by Stuart Orme, with it being set within the ruins of a post-nuclear attack in London."
 * The information about the video being in the setting is not backed up by the source, as far as I can see
 * It's in there, down toward the bottom of the page - "'This Corrosion' was shot in Wapping or thereabouts in a warehouse or soundstage. We wanted to go to Kazakhstan in the Soviet Union, but at the same time the Russian record company (Melody or something it was called) were in negotiations with the west regarding video rights. We were not allowed to go as we would have botched up the negotiations." Aria1561 (talk) 21:07, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Where does that source say about the post-nuclear attack set in London though? --K. Peake 05:44, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * My mistake. That's definitely not in the given source. Aria1561 (talk) 05:54, 3 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "The band wanted to film in Kazakhstan in" → "The Sisters of Mercy wanted to film in Kazakhstan of"
 * "was in negotiations" → "were in negotiations"
 * "on 13 November 1987[33] through" → "on 13 November 1987, through" and [33] should solely be at the end of the sentence
 * Remove wikilink on Merciful Release
 * The introduction to the record label should be as part of its first mention in the opening section instead, with commas used like here of course
 * "It later received a release in" → "It was later released in"
 * "on 11 January 1988 through" → "on 11 January 1988 by" to avoid repetitive wording
 * Remove targets on cassette and CD
 * "included the "This Corrosion" B-side "Torch"" → "included the B-side to "This Corrosion", "Torch","
 * "from the "This Corrosion" singles," → "from the single releases for "This Corrosion","
 * "was not included in the album's credits although" → "was not included in the credits for Floodland, although"
 * "appeared under her real name" → "appeared under her real name of"
 * "Morrison downplayed this in interviews, saying" → "She downplayed the lack of inclusion in interviews, saying:"
 * "considered her to be a vital part of the band as" → "considered Morrison to be a vital part of the Sisters of Mercy, as"
 * "appearing in music videos and on the album cover." → "appearing in music videos released for Floodland and on the cover art."
 * "feeling that the album was never" → "feeling that it was not"
 * "He later claimed that did not have a band" → "He later recalled not having a band"
 * "was really why he" → "was the real reason why he"
 * "to promote the album through" → "to promote Floodland with"
 * Wikilink music video on the second img main text and target "Dominion" to Dominion (song)
 * "It was released" → "It was later released as a single"
 * "A cover of the" → "A cover version of the"
 * Add release year of "Emma" in brackets
 * "recorded for the single" → "recorded to be released as part of the single"
 * [28] should solely be at the end of the sentence
 * Wikilink the Church Studios
 * Target overdubs to Overdubbing
 * "mixing completed at Master Rock Studios" → "mixing being completed at Master Rock Studios"
 * "the bass guitar for the track." → the bass guitar for the song."
 * "he felt that it" → "he felt that they"
 * "he and producer Hugh Jones" → "Eldritch and producer Hugh Jones"
 * "recording truck and played" → "recording truck, and played"
 * "recording multiple performances" → "while recording multiple performances"
 * "The other B-side tracks of the single," → "The single's other B-side tracks,"
 * "before the "Dominion" video shoot." → "before the "Dominion" music video shoot."
 * "to a moody short instrumental track" → "to a moody and short instrumental track,"
 * "The CD single contained" → "The CD single for the song contained"
 * "was filmed in February 1988" → "was filmed during February 1988"
 * Remove target on Jordanian
 * "and enlisted director" → "and they enlisted director"
 * "The video was filmed by" → "An accompanying music video was filmed by"
 * Target Bombay to Mumbai
 * "at some point. It was later" → "at some point; it was later"
 * Target promotional single to Promotional recording
 * "aimed for radio play." → "that aimed for radio play."
 * "It also received a music video" → "The song also received a music video"
 * ✅ — All done. Aria1561 (talk) 00:26, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

Critical

 * Swap the order of rev 1 and rev 2 in the box to being how they are displayed
 * "Floodland initially received some mixed reviews from writers." → "Floodland was met with mixed reviews from music critics." with the target
 * "gave the album three out of five stars and felt that the album was a step down from the band's" → "felt that the album was a step down from the Sister of Mercy's"
 * "Lou [Reed] 's Berlin", adding that it is" → "Lou [Reed] 's Berlin," adding that the album is"
 * "at the very least". He provided" → "at the very least." Coleman provided"
 * "of a single"." → "of a single.""
 * "albeit less dumb and compensated" → "albeit less dumb as well as compensated"
 * "has received retrospective praise" → "has since received retrospective praise"
 * "definite milestone"," → "definite milestone,""
 * "scary and glorious"." → "scary and glorious.""
 * "regal "This Corrosion" is" → "regal 'This Corrosion' is"
 * Remove the ratings sentence
 * Should the staff member's name really be in speech marks?
 * "by Andrew Eldrich"." → "by Andrew Eldrich.""
 * "in the band's discography, while also giving praise" → "in the Sister of Mercy's discography, alongside giving praise"
 * "was also considered an" → "was later considered an"

Commercial

 * "reached number 9 in the UK album charts." → "reached number nine on the UK Albums Chart." with the wikilink
 * "assured the album silver status" → "assured the album achieving a silver certifcation"
 * "it went gold with 100,000 sold units." → "it was certified gold in the UK by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI) for selling 100,000 units." with the wikilink
 * "According to Eldritch the album recouped" → "According to Eldritch, Floodland recouped"
 * "was The Sisters' second largest market" → "was the band's second largest market"
 * "Floodland entered the top 100 albums chart on" → "The album entered the Top 100 albums chart on" with the target
 * Mention what position it entered at before the comma
 * "staying there for twenty weeks" → "remaining on the chart for 20 weeks"
 * "In 1993 it went gold, with 250,000 sold units." → "In 1993 Floodland was certified gold in Germany by the Bundesverband Musikindustrie (BVMI) for sales of 250,000 units." with the wikilink
 * "In the United States, the album debuted on the Billboard 200 at number 174" → "In the US, the album debuted at number 174 on the Billboard 200"
 * "It reached its peak position of number 101," → "It went on to peak at number 101,"
 * ✅ – Both sections done. Aria1561 (talk)

Track listing

 * Add a ref after the written sentence
 * Why are no producers listed?
 * Separate Errol Brown and Tony Wilson with a comma instead of a connective
 * ✅ — All done. Aria1561 (talk) 00:26, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

Personnel

 * A heading should be here for credits adapted rather than invoking [19] on three occasions, though keep the notes next to the different groups
 * ✅ — Aria1561 (talk) 00:26, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

Charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * ✅ – Aria1561 (talk) 00:26, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

Certifications

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * Are the units really shipments, or actually sales here?
 * My assumption would be sales, but I'm not sure if I can alter that because of the way the certs template works. Aria1561 (talk) 00:26, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

Final comments and verdict

 * until the issues are fixed but do not feel afraid to reach out if you have any queries; glad to have completed my first review for the GAN drive! --K. Peake 19:09, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
 * I believe I've addressed everything here. Please let me know if there's anything else that needs to looked at or if I missed anything. Aria1561 (talk) 00:26, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ time, but may take slightly long for me to update the WPs since I am out right now and the WiFi isn't too strong unfortunately. --K. Peake 17:45, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the review! It's much appreciated :) Aria1561 (talk) 18:15, 3 October 2020 (UTC)