Talk:Flora Molton/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 21:29, 27 March 2021 (UTC)

Hello there! I'll review this article, and should have initial comments up within a few days. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 21:29, 27 March 2021 (UTC)

Starting with assessments of the infobox and lead.

Infobox

 * File:Flora Molton.jpg has an appropriate FUR

Lead

 * The use of "but" in "was influenced early by her religious upbringing but also by blues musicians" gives a false impression that these influences are mutually exclusive. You can fix this by replacing "but" with "and".
 * "Until relatively late in life" sounds ambiguous. Try to give a more precise timeframe.

More to come later. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 19:58, 28 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you for this initial feedback. These were helpful observations. I addressed both of them - and reworked some ambiguous language later in the article. I look forward to further feedback, but there is no hurry on my end. Larry Hockett (Talk) 03:39, 29 March 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * You've neglected to mention Flora's birth name here (which isn't cited anywhere else, though I found part of it here)
 * Added. Larry Hockett (Talk) 04:25, 30 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Is it known where specifically in Louisa County she was born or what the names of her parents were?
 * I suspect it was unincorporated county because all I can find is Louisa County in the secondary sources. I investigated Zion Crossroads (location of her historical marker) as a birthplace, but nothing comes up. There are primary sources, such as the 1910 Census and her testimony in an estate case, that say she lived in Green Springs, but I can't confirm that she was born there. The entire county had about 17,000 residents back then, so if we decide to leave it as Louisa County, that already pins it down to a pretty small area.
 * Re: her parents' names, I found this image of her historical marker, which gives the names as Rev. and Mrs. William Rollins, but I'm not sure whether to use this or whether to hold out for a secondary source. Another primary source, the 1910 Census, lists her father as William Rollins and her father's wife as Sally Rollins. The estate case transcript (which misspells her last name) also gives the father's name as William, but it doesn't mention her mother's name as far as I can tell. Larry Hockett (Talk) 04:25, 30 March 2021 (UTC)
 * I'll allow using the census to cite both William and Sally. It doesn't sound like a problem in this case. SNUGGUMS (talk / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 16:10, 30 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Let me know if the census citation formatting is okay. I found it via ancestry.com, so I just used that URL and marked it subscription required. I couldn't find any free sites that had the records from the right year and the right county. Larry Hockett (Talk) 00:13, 31 March 2021 (UTC)
 * While I would've preferred something that could be more freely accessed, that'll do for now. Formatting seems OK to me. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 01:53, 31 March 2021 (UTC)
 * The Washington Post doesn't specify her brother's name (Robert), but I found it in the Folklife URL linked above, which you can place at the end of "Florida Avenue Baptist Church"
 * Added. Larry Hockett (Talk) 04:25, 30 March 2021 (UTC)

This most likely will be done section-by-section. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 02:47, 30 March 2021 (UTC)

Music

 * It might be a typo, but I'm finding "F streets NW and later 11th and F streets NW", not "F Street and 7th Street". Either way, that admittedly isn't a part of DC that I'm familiar with.
 * Added two NWs to make these street names more complete. The first location was the corner of 7th St NW and F St NW and the second location was the corner of 11th St NW and F St NW, if that's the concern. The source uses Seventh instead of 7th, which I think makes it harder to follow.
 * "too secular" sounds POV
 * Reworked this passage to make it clear that we are talking about Molton's opinions on what is secular or sacred.
 * "Sun Gonna Shine in Vietnam One Day" are the lyrics to an anti-war song (understandable mistake); the title was "Sun's Gonna Shine in Vietnam Someday" before getting renamed to "Sun's Gonna Shine Some Day"
 * Fixed the title and added the bit about getting renamed.
 * Per WP:REPCITE, you don't need to use a citation more than once consecutively within a paragraph, so the third paragraph only needs to have ref#4 placed at the end of "present in traditional African music"
 * I learned something new (somehow thought I needed a cite after every direct quote). Adjusted this according to the guideline.
 * "song’s" from "the song’s primary message" should be "song's" per MOS:CURLY
 * Fixed this and one other similar example. I must have copied and pasted those direct quotes.

Not bad so far. "Personal life" will be up next. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 01:53, 31 March 2021 (UTC)

Personal life

 * Is it known when she married either of her husbands?
 * I haven't been able to find that in an RS, but I will keep looking through primary sources similar to what I did for her parents' names.
 * I'd add her children's names (they can be found here)
 * Done.
 * Let's just remove the towns they're from so the prose doesn't read so much like an obituary
 * Not sure the "found people willing to give her rides to places like her church" bit is worth mentioning unless Molton also used this for travelling to perform at certain locations
 * Done. I initially added the phrase to address the apparent contradiction between owning a car and being partially blind, but I think you're right that the reader can figure out that she wouldn't have been the driver.
 * No years for Spirit and Truth Music or Bluese Houseparty?
 * I just found the year for Blues Houseparty and added a reference, but Spirit and Truth Music eludes me. In the Hall (1988) source, it is mentioned as one of two Lewis films being shown at a theater, but it doesn't say when the films were made. The answer doesn't appear to be on IMDb or any other source I can find, unfortunately.

Getting closer to the end! I'll most likely get the rest of the article assessed in one swoop. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 03:37, 4 April 2021 (UTC)

Later years

 * Are any details on album sales available?
 * I haven't found anything like numbers of copies sold, but I added a sourced mention of the fact that she had her recordings available for direct sale when she was busking.

Discography

 * I made a slight change here by removing an "Albums" subheading which wasn't helpful since it had no other subsections
 * Only I Want To Be Ready To Hear God When He Calls has previously been mentioned within the prose, which means the other titles should either be cited here or added (with references) to a prior section
 * Added the other two to the prose.

Overall

 * Prose: Mostly good
 * Referencing: A couple of citations need their formatting fixed, and two albums are missing references
 * Coverage: Some detail could be cut while others could be elaborated on
 * Neutrality: No bias detected
 * Stability: This is A-OK
 * Media: Nothing of concern
 * Verdict: Placing the nomination on hold. You have seven days to address my remaining comments. <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 17:29, 4 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you. I'm disappointed that I still haven't been able to find the marriage dates, even through a search of primary sources. I've done my best to make sure that the biographical stuff is a good summary of what is covered in the sources. Thank you for your suggestions. It's my first music-related GA nomination and certainly not a conventional music article in many ways. Larry Hockett (Talk) 01:57, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
 * You're welcome. This is indeed an unorthodox musician page. While those other details would've been nice to have, I won't penalize you for leaving out anything that cannot be found, so it's now good enough to pass! <b style="color:#009900">SNUGGUMS</b> (<b style="color:#009900">talk</b> / <b style="color:#009900">edits</b>) 02:51, 5 April 2021 (UTC)