Talk:Foxtrot (album)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Anarchyte (talk · contribs) 07:33, 29 June 2018 (UTC)

I've always enjoyed Genesis' 1973-1976 albums, but I've never really bothered to listen to this one. Perhaps I'll listen to it while I review this.  Anarchyte ( work  &#124;  talk )  07:33, 29 June 2018 (UTC)
 * The Mellotron introduction to "Watcher of The Skies" has been known to make grown men faint and "Apocalypse in 9/8" onwards from "Supper's Ready" will make your hair stand on end. And "Get 'Em Out By Friday" is quite poignant post-Grenfell Tower. But anyway, I digress Ritchie333 (talk) (cont)  20:18, 3 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Listened to "Supper's Ready". It's fantastic, but certainly strange.  Anarchyte ( work  &#124;  talk )  05:07, 4 July 2018 (UTC)

Lead

 * I'd link jam session.
 * Okay


 * Recording began in August, but tensions arose between the group and producer John Anthony and they were abandoned. What was abandoned? The recordings or the band? Rephrase the ending.
 * Done


 * Dave Hitchcock was the new producer, correct? If so, write "resumed with Dave Hitchcock as the producer" or similar. At the moment, it implies Hitchcock was already there (which he may have been, but he hasn't explained thus-far so I'm assuming he joined the team).
 * After John Anthony left / walked out, they didn't have anyone lined up as a replacement. David Hitchcock was chosen by the band later.


 * Optional change, but if it was there most successful album at the time, "selling well" sort of sells it short. "considerably/remarkably well", perhaps?
 * I've replaced it with "the first album to chart in the UK" which is more concrete, less wooly fan-POV and sourced in the body.

Background

 * The tour concluded in May that saw Genesis perform a set at the Great Western Festival in Lincoln where Italian reporter and future band photographer and biographer Armando Gallo "converted to Genesis". This doesn't make much sense. Is it possible for you to scan the relevant page so I can get an idea on how this sentence could be improved?
 * I don't have Hewitt's book on me anymore, but I don't think this is particularly relevant anyhow so I've removed it.

Production

 * running up to the → preceding the
 * I've reworded this generally


 * Who is the engineer? Potter or Johnston?
 * Clarified a bit


 * Link Mellotron in the first mention and unlink it in the second.
 * Done, and also tidied up the prose - I think it's MkII strings / brass with bass accordion, but nobody cares anymore when you can just download a "Watcher" sample patch. Probably


 * First sentence of the third para (During the album's sessions Genesis... makes little sense.
 * Reworded


 * at gig Is this meant to be at a gig?
 * Er, yes. Fixed.


 * subject when Jill reportedly. Replace this instance of "Jill" with "she". Too many uses of the word in this sentence.
 * I've trimmed this sentence a bit


 * while as the backing Don't need the "as" here.
 * Reworded


 * New
 * occupies most of the album's second side → occupies the remainder of the album's second side. From what I can see, the only other song is "Horizons" and that's mentioned beforehand.
 * I've reworded this. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont)  10:30, 4 July 2018 (UTC)


 * Question
 * The description for side two talks about "picked eight children to record vocals for the song and paid them ten 'bob' (shillings)". The 10 Shilling note was removed from circulation in 1970. The album was recorded during August/September 1972. The children in question would have been paid 50 new pence (50p) each. So why the use of 'old money' terminology, or is that text taken from a quotation or similar? People still used the words 'bob' and 'shilling' well into the late 70s and beyond, but I'm just wondering if it shouldn't be changed to '50 pence' for clarity. sugarfish (talk) 18:35, 5 June 2022 (UTC)

Release

 * Elsewhere the album reached  No.  1 in Italy. "Elsewhere" is unnecessary.
 * Done


 * Seeing as the article uses "considered" instantly after this sentence, perhaps it's best to reduce repetition by changing He considers Foxtrot being to He regards Foxtrot as being.
 * The article spends two sentences describing why BBC Music disliked the album (besides the quote), only for it to turn around and say "They considered the album an overall good work due to the musical compositions and performances". I'd add some sort of connector here, like "however" or "despite this", especially because the preceding sentence is only negative. Additionally, the album an overall good work reads a bit iffy.
 * I didn't write this bit. I've condensed it down a bit, people don't want to read paragraphs of one man's opinion unless it's of groundbreaking importance, which most aren't.


 * What is a "tour proper"?
 * Well as I understand it it means actually going out and doing the full show, as opposed to just a warm-up gig which is typically smaller and done just as a final sort of dress-rehearsal. Anyway, I've trimmed this.

I think I've addressed all the above issues, anything else? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont)  20:35, 3 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Great. I'll have another read of the article tonight. <b style="font-family:Papyrus"> Anarchyte ( work  &#124;  talk ) </b> 23:05, 3 July 2018 (UTC)
 * I've left one comment above. After that's fixed, I'll pass this <b style="font-family:Papyrus"> Anarchyte  ( work  &#124;  talk ) </b> 05:07, 4 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Done <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  10:31, 4 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Good job as usual, ! Passed. <b style="font-family:Papyrus"> Anarchyte ( work  &#124;  talk ) </b> 11:40, 4 July 2018 (UTC)
 * Excellent work as usual, thank you! LowSelfEstidle (talk) 19:15, 17 July 2018 (UTC)