Talk:Fred Dunlap/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Secret (talk · contribs) 01:29, 26 March 2014 (UTC)

I'll review this Secret account 01:29, 26 March 2014 (UTC)

Reviewing...


 * "second in extra base hits and times on base" - I don't think "times on base" is needed for the lead.
 * "His .412 batting average in 1884 was the highest ever recorded to that time in Major League Baseball and 56 points higher than any other player in the major leagues in 1884." It also should be mentioned the inferior quality of the play which is mentioned in the body.
 * "with the Greighers at Camden, New Jersey, before" - Grammar
 * "Quicksteps of Wilmington, Delaware, as a pitcher.: - source?
 * "In his first season in the major leagues" - "in the major leagues" is redundant as the previous sentence mentions the majors, remove.
 * times on base, on-base percentage and slugging percentage needs wikilinks
 * "a game against the White Stockings on July 10, 1880" - mention the full team name.
 * "the most a team had ever purchased a player for at the time" - prose seems awkward here
 * "disorganizer" and "mischief maker." - can you clarify this if the sources allow?

No close paraphrasing concerns, images are in public domain, just fix those minor concerns, otherwise meets GA criteria. Thanks Secret account 16:33, 29 March 2014 (UTC)
 * Issues fixed, sans the last one since I'm unable to view that particular source. Another source I saw said pretty much the same thing but didn't go into further detail. Wizardman  03:39, 30 March 2014 (UTC)