Talk:Fresh Blood (Supernatural)

Mini review
"who is turned into a vampire." - is? has?
 * Done. Ω  pho  is  20:51, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

"and was also busy filming for the television series Reaper during the episode's production." - "for" probably not needed.
 * Done. Ω  pho  is  20:51, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

"as well as the twist in the character's storyline. " - What twist?
 * That he himself is turned into a vampire. Ω  pho  is  20:51, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

"resulting brotherly scene" - Maybe "reconciliation"?
 * as in "resulting brotherly reconciliation"? Ω  pho  is  20:51, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

"many found the presence of Bela Talbot" - Mabye "many found the presence of recurring character Bela Talbot"
 * Done. Ω  pho  is  20:51, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

Wikilink hunter?
 * Done. Ω  pho  is  19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

The sentence that begins "Hunter and recently-escaped" should be broken up into two or three smaller sentences.
 * Done. Ω  pho  is  19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

"However, Gordon and Kubrick interrupt the fight" - Who is Kubrick?
 * Done. Ω  pho  is  19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

"two young women whom are in the process of being turned into vampires." - "in the process" not needed.
 * Done. Ω  pho  is  19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

"Elsewhere, Gordon returns Kubrick." - What does that mean? (Don't tell me here, make sure the article explains, maybe I missed it)
 * Typo. Fixed it. Ω  pho  is  19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

"Dean decides to go after Gordon himself" - "himself" not needed.
 * Done. Ω  pho  is  19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

"Sam calls him out on it." " drop the act" - Too informal.
 * Do you have any suggestions? Ω  pho  is  19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

"The two then prepare to wait out the night." - Maybe "wait until morning"?
 * I think the original sounds better. Ω  pho  is  19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

"However, Gordon later calls the Sam and Dean" - "However" isn't a good way to start a paragraph. "the" not needed.
 * Done. Ω  pho  is  19:29, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

That's it for now. I would say that's some of the best prose I've seen you do. Also, is the Plot too long? I forget the quideline recommended size, but it seems a bit too detailed. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) 01:46, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
 * I took a look at some other FA television articles, and this is just a tad bit longer, so I think it should be fine. Ω  pho  is  19:33, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

"vampire was "horrific" for him." - "to him" I think.

There are a lot "however"s. You might mix it up a bit more.

"John Marcynuk mainly used green tones and a cool" - "mainly" is a bit informal.

" and the design has been subtly improved with each vampire episode." - Should it be "had" instead of "has"? Also, maybe "subsequent vampire episode"?

"The actors had fittings done of their mouths" - Sounds funny. Can you say mold instead of fitting?

I'll look at reception later. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) 21:26, 28 February 2010 (UL–←

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