Talk:Frieda Fraser/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sabine's Sunbird (talk · contribs) 01:43, 5 June 2017 (UTC)

Interesting stuff. Some comments: Once these are dealt with the review should pass fairly quickly. Sabine's Sunbird  talk  01:43, 5 June 2017 (UTC)
 * In the lead some dates relating to major milestones would be good, especially if this goes to FAC.
 * The sentences ending and starting the two refused to give up their relationship.[12] Fraser had little understanding of her immigrant patients,  - are something of a non sequitur; maybe break into two paragraphs there?
 * Since there is no wikilink to Connaught Laboratories, maybe briefly touch on what type of organisation it is.
 * where her brother worked and accepting the position to begin at the end of her internship in October meant that she would not be joining Williams in England. Was her going to England planned? Worth providing slightly more detail here.
 * Career long and large section- maybe break up into subsections? Also, maybe rename as some paragraphs are more about her life than career (which is fine)
 * from 1925 to 1941, the period when the couple was separated. Separated usually has a connotation of cause due to relationship breakdown - maybe a different term is needed here?
 * I believe that I have addressed all the concerns. On the second point, I moved the discussion of immigrant patients to follow the sentence on tenements. I agree it seems better placed there, but I could not see how to break it into a different paragraph since the first paragraph discusses the New York internship and the second, the one in Pennsylvania. Thank you for getting to the article so quickly. If I can address any other issues please advise. SusunW (talk) 07:21, 5 June 2017 (UTC)


 * Thanks those changes are good. I tidied some formatting on the refs, can you check the link to John Kennedy (Mom didn't approve) as its coming up broken for me. Sabine's Sunbird  talk  08:31, 5 June 2017 (UTC)
 * Totally weird, the link is gone. I found a weblink to the same article but not by Kennedy, written not in May but published in June. It appears to be a revision because a piece of data not in the PDF version that the archive is open since 2001. At any rate, it is now in the article under Danny Glenwright. SusunW (talk) 08:53, 5 June 2017 (UTC)